Text 184, 94 rader
Skriven 2006-04-25 13:41:00 av ROSS SAUER (1:123/140)
Ärende: Alien slams Bush!
=========================
From "Weekly World News"
(Hey, they're more credible than Fox.) <G>

SPACE ALIEN RATES GEORGE W. BUSH: 'HE STINKS!' 

WASHINGTON -- The mysterious space alien whose endorsement of George W. 
Bush helped him win the election has issued a candid assessment of 
Bush's first 150 days in office -- and he gives our new commander in 
chief a humiliating D-minus!

The E.T. says that President Bush has already made a series of 
catastrophic blunders that "threaten the long-term survival of the human 
species" and warns that if he keeps going the way he has been, his 
presidency will spell disaster for "not only the United States and the 
planet Earth, but possibly the entire galaxy as well."

The extraterrestrial made the blistering comments in a six-page 
communique sent to the White House, according to Dr. Phil Braton, a D.C.-
based UFO researcher who claims he obtained a copy from an unnamed 
National Security Agency source.

"The alien and his people are disappointed with the job President Bush 
has done so far," said Dr. Braton. "Their chief complaint is his 
handling of environmental issues -- they feel he's made decisions that 
will turn Earth into an uninhabitable wasteland.

"In fact, in the communique the alien pointedly says of Mr. Bush: 'He 
stinks!'"

The strange visitor from space first made headlines in 1992 when a 
startling photograph surfaced of him holding a top-secret meeting with 
Bush's father, who was then President. But later, in a surprising 
reversal, he ended up endorsing Democrat rival Bill Clinton in the '92 
presidential election. 

Last year, the E.T. stunned political pundits again when he backed 
George W. Bush over Al Gore. While the endorsement probably changed only 
a few thousand votes, experts say that was all Bush needed to win 
Florida and the White House.

The E.T. says these are the seven humanity-endangering goofs Bush has 
made:

Flip-flopping on his campaign pledge to cut pollution -- One of the main 
reasons the alien backed Bush was his vow to require mandatory 
reductions in carbon-dioxide emissions from power plants. By reversing 
his position once in office, Bush has put the world at risk, according 
to the E.T., who says, "Your planet is choking on these fumes." 

Rejecting the international Kyoto treaty to limit greenhouse gasses -- 
"Global warming is a very serious threat to your planet," warns the 
alien. "If you don't stop it now, you soon face a worldwide 
environmental catastrophe of biblical proportions." 

Boosting the level of arsenic allowed in the drinking water -- "We have 
seen this happen on other planets, where millions of people, including 
small, helpless children, have died excruciating deaths from polluted 
water," the alien writes. 

Reviving "Star Wars" -- Bush's decision to toss out the decades-old ABM 
treaty and to deploy a space-based missile-defense system is 
"dangerously misguided," says the E.T. "Spreading your arms race into 
space will not only lead to the destruction of the human race, it also 
threatens other planets where such weapons are unknown." 

Promising to open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and other 
protected lands to oil drilling -- "We cannot tell you how many planets 
there are which have become barren pits with no natural beauty because 
of this kind of folly," the E.T. says. 
Cutting the budget for research into renewable energy and conservation 
by $200 million -- "You simply cannot keep plundering the Earth's 
natural resources," the E.T. says. "Renewable sources of energy are your 
only hope for survival." 

Proposing we build more nuclear power plants -- "Radioactive waste 
remains deadly for 10,000 years," the alien warns. "The disaster at 
Chernobyl is nothing compared to what awaits future generations of 
mankind if you build more of these monstrosities." The White House has 
not issued any public comment on the alien's thumbs-down rating, but 
privately, aides concede, President Bush feels betrayed by the fickle 
E.T. 

According to an administration insider, the President said, "First this 
guy stabs my dad in the back, now he's doing the same thing to me." 

-- By MICHAEL CHIRON

© 2006 American Media, Inc

From Archae's Roost, Sheboygan, WI

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