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Skriven 2006-05-29 08:08:00 av ROSS SAUER (1:123/140)
Ärende: Top Ten 5-29
====================
You know, I'm still waiting for a "Top Ten Liberal Idiots."
Problem is, outside of the occasional moron who pops up now and then, 
there is no "Top Ten" for the week.

And since this bunch who call themselves "conservatives" are in charge, 
it'll be decades before the damage they cause can be corrected. If ever.

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 245

May 29, 2006
Chris My Ass Edition

Chris Matthews (1) has had his nose surgically attached to the 
president's buttcrack, George W. Bush (2) gets dissed by Tony Blair of 
all people, and Ken Lay (3) has been found very, very guilty. Meanwhile 
Brit Hume (5) is catapulting the propaganda, Jim Naugle (7) is seeing 
reds under the beds, and Lou Dobbs (8) needs to rethink his sources. 
Enjoy, and as usual don't forget the key!

Chris Matthews    

For years, Chris Matthews has humped the leg of the president's flight 
suit for his "hero" qualities, his "swagger," and his tough-guy cowboy 
attitude. Observe:

May 1, 2003

MATTHEWS: Here's a president who's really nonverbal. He's like 
Eisenhower. He looks great in a military uniform. He looks great in that 
cowboy costume he wears when he goes West. I remember him standing at 
that fence with Colin Powell. Was (that) the best picture in the 2000 
campaign?

(Later that same day...)

MATTHEWS: We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as 
president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a 
complicated guy like Clinton or even like Dukakis or Mondale, all those 
guys, McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's 
president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having 
a hero as our president. It's simple. We're not like the Brits. We don't 
want an indoor prime minister type, or the Danes or the Dutch or the 
Italians, or a Putin. Can you imagine Putin getting elected here? We 
want a guy as president.

November 30, 2005

MATTHEWS: I think this is the brilliant political move here by the 
president, forcing the Democratic carpers and complainers to come 
forward, and say, "All right, you don't like my strategy for victory in 
Iraq? Vote against it. Go ahead, make my day." This is Clint Eastwood 
stuff. I think the president today is brilliantly putting a marker out 
there and saying to the Jack Murthas and the rest, "OK, vote against 
reconstruction. Vote against my plan to turn this war over to the 
Iraqis, that's my long-term plan, you vote against it and I'm gonna nail 
you." 


And for years, George W. Bush has repeatedly stated that he can't think 
of any mistakes that he made in the invasion and occupation of Iraq. 
What determination! What leadership! But that all changed last week 
when, during a press conference with Tony Blair, a decidedly sullen Bush 
announced that he really shouldn't have said "bring it on" or "wanted 
dead or alive" after all, and that he ought to have expressed himself 
"in a more sophisticated manner." Oh yes, and that whole Abu Ghraib 
thing was a bit of a blunder.
So was Chris "Yee Haw Mr. President" Matthews disappointed by Bush's 
miserable mea culpa? Hardly! Here's what he had to say afterwards, ably 
assisted by Norah O'Donnell:

MATTHEWS: And then came the great moment of the evening - I hope we have 
this tape ready soon, we will have it ready - when the president was 
asked by a British reporter, "What mistakes personally can you admit 
right now that you've made during the course of the war?" and rather 
dramatically he made some admissions here. One he said I should have 
never said "bring it on," I should have never used language like "wanted 
dead or alive" the cowboy language for which he was well known, and 
perhaps a bit notorious early on..."



Notorious? Sounds like a bit of a backpedal for a guy who said, "He 
looks great in that cowboy costume," and, "This is Clint Eastwood 
stuff."

Please continue.

MATTHEWS: ...and then he said, "I think I should have been more 
sophisticated in the language I chose over these months during the war 
because I think a lot of people in the world got me wrong." And then 
came the big one, the box office statement of the evening. He said Abu 
Ghraib. The mistreatement of those tortured prisoners in that prison he 
inherited from Saddam Hussein in Iraq has become a real problem for us, 
a longstanding problem for us. A very strong statement. Norah, I was so 
taken with that. The admission of the problems that he himself caused.

NORAH: The president extraordinarily and the prime minster resolute that 
the cause is just in Iraq, that there have been missteps and setbacks, 
but what they are doing is the right thing. But at the same time as you 
mentioned a sense of in some ways seeking reconciliation with the world 
over what they acknowledge is an extremely unpopular war not only in 
their own countries but around the world. The president again saying 
that Abu Ghraib was a huge mistake and that they're paying for it to 
this day. And even his tone of voice, he seemed extremely remorseful 
about that. That is a statement that will likely play around the world 
and could arguably help him around the world.

MATTHEWS: Well we're joined of course right now by MSNBC's chief 
Washington correspondent Norah O'Donnell. Norah let me ask you a second 
question. Do you think that's going to be the headline tomorrow in the 
newspapers, the admission of error?

NORAH: I do. I mean, you know, the president when he was asked that 
question he kinda joked and said that this is becoming a familiar 
refrain because he's frequently asked what mistakes have you made and he 
has resisted ever admitting that he makes mistakes, and for him to be so 
open, so open tonight, suggests a reflectiveness, suggests a man in his 
second term who's willing perhaps to change, who is willing to, again, 
seek reconciliation and saying that I said "bring it on," "dead or 
alive," that cowboy image in the world that he is viewed. It also 
suggests I think in some ways that he's looking towards his legacy.

MATTHEWS: I thought he was a bit tired tonight and maybe that brought 
out that unusual admission. I'll tell you, it's something that his 
critics have been demanding and I hope he gets some credit for it 
because the critics can't be wrong twice. If they say he should do it 
they should give him credit for doing it.


Hang on a minute. First of all, he didn't just blurt out that admission 
because he was tired - it was obviously a highly calculated move. Trust 
Chris Matthews to think otherwise. And second, we haven't been demanding 
an apology from Bush. We've been saying from day one that making those 
statements was the action of a first-class chump. Now, three and a half 
years later, Bush finally, grudgingly agrees that we were right all 
along - and we're supposed to give him credit? Somehow I don't think 
this admission is going to bring back those thousands of dead American 
soldiers and Iraqi civilians.

Time to bring this farce to a close.

MATTHEWS: Let's take a look right now at what the president said in that 
amazing moment of reflection we saw near the end of the press 
conference.

(VIDEO)

A little bit of Lincoln there I think.


Oh, barf. Talk about sticking up a finger to see which way the wind's 
blowing. Apparently Matthews thinks it's okay to boast day in and day 
out about the size of George W. Bush's metaphorical ballsack and then 
give him a round of applause when that ballsack shrinks to the size of a 
peanut.

Never mind Our Great Leader admitting his mistakes - when are we going 
to hear Mr. "Sunny Nobility" own up to the fact that for the last three 
and a half years he's been completely and utterly wrong about Bush?

George W. Bush 

While Dubya can always rely on media sycophants like Chris Matthews and 
Norah O'Donnell to prop him up, he probably wasn't expecting the biggest 
slam of the evening to come from his brother-in-arms Tony Blair. During 
their joint press conference, Blair was asked, "Will you miss the 
president? What will you miss about him? And for the president, what 
will you miss about Tony Blair and what are you looking for in an 
eventual replacement?"

Here's Bush's response:

BUSH: I'll miss those red ties is what I'll miss. (laughter) I'll say 
one thing. He can answer the question. Don't count him out; let me tell 
it to you that way. I know a man of resolve and vision and courage, and 
I - my attitude is I want him to be here so long as I'm the president.

Very nice. And here's Blair's answer:

BLAIR: Well, what more can I say? (awkward pause) Probably not wise to 
say anything more at all. (awkward pause) You guys, come on. I want you 
to - you're the British delegation; ask a few serious questions. (much 
coughing and shuffling of papers) 

Ouch!

Ken Lay   

So, farewell Ken Lay. Lay was convicted last week on six counts of fraud 
and conspiracy, and four more counts of fraud and making false 
statements in a separate case. Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling, 
meanwhile, was found guilty on 19 counts of fraud, conspiracy, making 
false statements and insider trading. They will both likely spend the 
rest of their lives in prison.

Of course most of America is currently concerned with far more important 
matters, such as the disappearance of Natalee Holloway and whether or 
not the national anthem should be sung in Spanish. But let us not forget 
that Ken Lay was a very good friend of George W. Bush's - despite Bush's 
claims to the contrary - and his tentacles reached deep into the White 
House.

As the Smoking Gun reminded us last week, George and Bush were 
definitely the best of buddies. And here's a list of Lay's connections 
with Bush, courtesy of the Nation:

Lay "contributed $122,500 to Bush's gubernatorial campaigns in Texas."

Lay "had Enron give $50,000 to pay for Bush's second inaugural party in 
Austin in 1999."

"As a 'Bush Pioneer' in the run-up to the 2000 presidential election, 
Lay was a key member of the Bush campaign's fund-raising inner circle."

"Under Lay's leadership, Enron ultimately gave Bush $550,025, making the 
corporation the Texan's No. 1 career patron at the time the 2000 
election campaign began."

Lay "put Enron's corporate jets at the disposal of the Bush campaign in 
2000."

"He kicked in $5,000 to pay for the Florida recount fight, while a top 
Enron 'consultant,'former Secretary of State James A. Baker III, ran the 
Republican's recount effort."

"Lay and Enron gave $300,000 to underwrite the Bush-Cheney inauguration 
festivities in 2001."
And what did Lay get in return?

"Lay cashed in even before Bush was sworn in as president, entering into 
the inner circles of the new administration and using the access he had 
paid for to craft its agenda on the issues that mattered most to Enron."

Bush appointed "the Enron founder as one of five members of the elite 
'Energy Department Transition Team,' which set the stage for the Vice 
President Dick Cheney's energy task force and administration policies 
designed to benefit corporations such as Enron."

A Congressional report "found evidence of at least 112 contacts between 
Enron and White House or other Administration officials during the month 
prior to the corporation's very-public collapse in late 2001. At least 
40 of those contacts involved top White House officials."

Ken Lay was a major player in the Republican culture of corruption, and 
now he's going to jail for the rest of his life. If there was any 
justice in this world, Bush would be right behind him.

Carter Censurers   

Attention everyone! Heads up! In the wake of 9/11, the bungled 
occupation of Iraq, surging gas prices, the outing of a CIA agent by 
administration officials, warrantless wiretapping, the diastrous 
response to Hurricane Katrina, and the biggest budget deficit in 
history, Republicans have come up with a simple way to solve all of 
America's problems: they're going to censure Jimmy Carter. The same 
Jimmy Carter who hasn't been president since January 1981. Yes, I 
couldn't quite believe it either.

But apparently modern conservatives think that they're living in the 
1970s, and that the censure of Jimmy Carter is well deserved. After all, 
more than a quarter of a century ago he screwed up the Iranian Hostage 
Crisis (with a little help from Ronald Reagan) and since then has been 
spending his time building homes for homeless people. What a bastard!

But if censuring Jimmy Carter will solve all our problems, then I have a 
much better idea. Let's censure James Buchanan! The 15th president of 
the United States failed to prevent the Civil War, the Lecompton 
Constitution was a terrible idea, and he wasn't even married. So come on 
people, let's rise as one and censure James Buchanan!

What's that? He's dead? Oh.

Brit Hume  

Have you always had the feeling that Fox News anchors simply read White 
House talking points straight off the Teleprompter? If you have, you're 
not alone. And not only are you not alone, but you're absolutely right.

Last week NewsHounds caught Brit Hume attacking Richard Viguerie, a 
conservative and former pollster who recently published a damning 
criticism of the Bush administration in the Washington Post. Here's our 
Brit:

HUME: Conservative activist Richard Viguerie - who pioneered direct mail 
in political fundraising - argues in Sunday's Washington Post that 
conservatives feel betrayed by President Bush, and urges them to avoid 
the polls in November, saying, "Nothing will change until there's a 
change in the GOP leadership." Viguerie may no longer hold much 
influence with the Republican Party, but he has a history of 
disillusionment with its leaders. In 1981, Viguerie said Ronald Reagan's 
Cabinet choices, "gave conservatives the back of the hand" and 
complained that Reagan allied himself with "the liberals, the Democrats 
and the Soviets." Viguerie later said of Reagan, "The emperor has no 
clothes on; just about every conservative I know is now acknowledging 
it."


Ooh, catfight. Got that, Fox News viewers? Richard Viguerie is not to be 
trusted because he has made statements in the past criticizing St. 
Ronald of Reagan. But NewsHounds were curious as to where Mr. Hume got 
that piece of information, so they went digging around. Look what they 
found in this Yahoo! Finance article:

In response (to the Post article), Peter Wehner, Deputy Assistant to the 
President and Director of Strategic Initiatives, sent an e-mail message 
to an unknown number of persons, citing statements made by Viguerie in 
1981, 1983, 1987, and 1988 that criticized some aspects of the Reagan 
Administration.

And wouldn't you know it, one of those emails happened to fall into the 
hands of Brit Hume who then catapulted the propaganda on his "news" show 
- without mentioning where he got it from, of course. How convenient.

Fox News  

One more for Fox News this week: Obviously worried that reading White 
House talking points isn't going to be good enough for Republicans this 
fall, Fox News is generously stumping for GOP candidates in other areas 
of their broadcast. Last week, during an interview with Ohio's 
Democratic gubernatorial candidate Ted Strickland, Fox host Greg Jarrett 
announced that "experts say (Ohio) is yet again shaping up to be a key 
battleground state," adding that it's "now a bit of a nail-biter." While 
this was going on, text at the bottom of the screen read, "Gubernatorial 
Race in OH Going To Be Close in Nov."

Fortunately Media Matters happened to notice this and pointed out that 
despite Fox News' claims of Ohio's key-battleground close-gubernatorial 
nail-biter status, the truth is somewhat different. I know, I know - 
you're shocked.

It turns out Ted Strickland currently holds a comfortable lead in the 
polls over Republican candidate Kenneth Blackwell - a May 8 Rasmussen 
poll gave him a 16 point lead (52-36), a lead which has been steadily 
increasing since January when Strickland only had a four point lead. 
Meanwhile, a Cleveland Plain Dealer from late April showed Strickland 10 
points ahead (47-37). Doesn't sound like much of a "nail biter" to me, 
at least not at the moment.

So why didn't Fox News' banner text read, "Strickland comfortably ahead 
in Ohio?" Why didn't Gregg Jarrett announce that Ken Blackwell is slowly 
losing ground to his opponent?

Probably because that would be a bit too close to telling the truth for 
Fox's comfort.

Jim Naugle  

Normally when I talk about morals and values in the Top 10, you know 
what's coming next - some prominent Republican has been caught in a 
motel room with three underage boys and a mound of cocaine. But this 
week's morals and values story doesn't involve sex or drugs (sorry).

Jim Naugle is the mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and - as you might 
expect - he's a conservative Republican. Last week Naugle was out and 
about trying to kill the city's affordable-housing law, saying that 
"People could afford a place to live if they were willing to work 
harder."

Apparently Naugle's idea of "harder" is a bit different to most 
people's. "I'm supposed to subsidize some schlock sitting on the sofa 
and drinking a beer, who won't work more than 40 hours a week?" he said. 
Yeah, damn those lazy scumbags who won't get off their asses and work 
more than 40 hours a week. What's wrong with them?

Oh, Jim Naugle will tell you what's wrong with them! "The concept of 
this ordinance is 'from each according to his ability, to each according 
to need,' which is the Communist Manifesto," he said.

Got that? If your lazy ass can't get out of bed in the morning and work 
two jobs, then you're a communist. Presumably you hate America as well.

Tell you what, while he's shooting down the affordable-housing law, 
while doesn't Jim Naugle have a go at Florida's communistic child labor 
law too? After all, people could easily afford a better place to live if 
they sent their kids down the mines instead of putting them through 
school. Hey, it'd be good for them! They'd get plenty of exercise, and 
they'd be learning all about the benefits of the free market.

Lou Dobbs 

Despite his occasionally rigorous criticisms of the Bush administration 
(see the Dubai Ports World deal), CNN's Lou Dobbs remains a conservative 
idiot at heart. Lately he's been getting a major kick out of the 
immigration battle, which has really allowed his big ol' head to swell 
mightily with righteous outrage. Last week on "Lou Dobbs Tonight," 
roving reporter Casey Wian turned in a story about "militant Latino 
activists" and their plan to take over the south-western United States.

"Utah is also part of the territory some militant Latino activists refer 
to as Aztlan, the portion of the southwest United States they claim 
rightfully belongs to Mexico," said Wian, before the following graphic 
appeared on the screen:

(Picture of area supposedly wanted by these "Hispanic" groups)

At first glance this doesn't look like anything much, but the eagle-eyed 
bloggers over at Liberal Oasis happened to notice that the source of the 
graphic is the Council of Conservative Citizens - you can see it down 
there in the lower-right corner. And who are the Council of Conservative 
Citizens? According to Wikipedia, they're "a controversial American 
paleoconservative political organization that supports European and 
Southern Heritage."

Now, if you think that "European and Southern Heritage" sounds like a 
bit of a code phrase for "white people," you're absolutely right. Again 
according to Wikipedia:

The CofCC was founded in 1988 in Atlanta, Georgia and is now 
headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri. The CofCC was formed by various 
leaders of the old White Citizens' Council, which was a network of 
racist organizations in the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. Gordon Lee Baum is the 
current national leader. In 1998, several members of the CofCC attended 
an event hosted by Jean-Marie Le Pen's Front National party. The 
delegation from the CofCC presented Le Pen a Confederate flag; which had 
been flown over the South Carolina state capitol building.

And the CCofC's own website says:

We believe that the United States derives from and is an integral part 
of European civilization and the European people and that the American 
people and government should remain European in their composition and 
character.

We therefore oppose the massive immigration of non-European and non-
Western peoples into the United States that threatens to transform our 
nation into a non-European majority in our lifetime.

We believe that illegal immigration must be stopped, if necessary by 
military force and placing troops on our national borders; that illegal 
aliens must be returned to their own countries; and that legal 
immigration must be severely restricted or halted through appropriate 
changes in our laws and policies.

We also oppose all efforts to mix the races of mankind, to promote non-
white races over the European-American people through so-called 
"affirmative action" and similar measures, to destroy or denigrate the 
European-American heritage, including the heritage of the Southern 
people, and to force the integration of the races.


So I'm glad Lou Dobbs isn't, you know, going over the top with this anti-
immigration thing or anything.

Tom DeLay Supporters 

Prepare to have your mind blown. I'm serious. This one will leave you 
scratching your head in bewilderment.

We all know that Tom DeLay is still in deep doo-doo over allegations of 
corruption and money laundering. Fortunately for Tom, he's still got a 
few supporters left who think he's not a lost cause. They've come 
together to create a website called DefendDelay.com, the purpose of 
which is to raise money for his legal defense. How nice.

Recently DeLay has come under fire from Robert Greenwald, the creator of 
Outfoxed, who has just released a new movie called The Big Buy: Tom 
DeLay’s Stolen Congress. As you might imagine, it's not particularly 
complimentary to the Former Hammer. So in an effort to discredit 
Greenwald, DefendDelay.com has posted at the top of their home page a 
video of Greenwald "crashing and burning" in an interview with... 
Stephen Colbert.

Now, most people with half a brain are well aware that Stephen Colbert 
isn't really a conservative, he just plays one for laughs on TV. It 
seems, however, that most of DeLay's supporters have less than half a 
brain and are therefore not familiar with such lofty concepts as 
"satire." As you might expect, the interview is full of silly questions 
like, "Who hates America more, you or Michael Moore?"

So why on earth have the brilliant minds behind DefendDelay.com posted 
this joke interview at the top of their website? There are two possible 
options:

1) They actually believe that this is a real interview. If they don't 
know who Stephen Colbert is, they might just have fallen for his 
schtick. Which would not only make them extremely dumb, but would also 
demonstrate just how good Colbert's satire is. But perhaps a more 
reasonable explanation is:

2) They know it's not real, but they think that anyone who wants to 
donate to Tom DeLay must be an utter moron. In this scenario, the 
creators of DefendDelay.com know that the Colbert Report is a comedy 
show, but they also know that people who are willing to cough up ten 
bucks for DeLay's defense fund will probably watch the interview and 
think that Colbert is a real conservative "nailing" Greenwald.

Either way, there's some serious idiocy going on here.

Bill Frist 

And finally, have you heard the news? Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist 
has got a new hobby - performing heart surgery on gorillas. It turns out 
that the gorillas at the National Zoo are afflicted with heart disease 
and nobody knows why, so Bill has stepped in. "The fact that we're 
working on the edge of the unknown is fun," he said. As much fun as 
pretending to adopt cats from animal shelters and then killing them? 
Hard to tell. But I must say I feel sorry for the gorillas. Knowing 
Frist, he'll diagnose them with AIDS or start waving balloons in their 
faces to see if he can get a reaction or something.

The Washington Post piece on Frist practicing his love with gorillas 
also contains several extremely disturbing reminiscences from his wife 
Karyn:

One Saturday night, Karyn recalled, "we were supposed to go to a movie. 
He walked out in his scrubs." Instead of taking Karyn to the theater, 
Frist brought her to the operating room. "To see the human body alive - 
without a heart in it."


Er... yikes?

And:

In medical school, Frist cut out a dog's heart and held it in his palm. 
It continued to beat for a slippery minute. "Watching it beat, the 
beauty of it," Frist recalled. "I decided I would spend my life centered 
around the heart."

See you next week!

- EarlG

© 2001 - 2006 Democratic Underground

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