Text 109, 117 rader
Skriven 2004-09-21 00:27:00 av LEE LOFASO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av ANDY ALT
Ärende: time travelling insider
===============================
Hello Andy,

AA>I thought this might be an interesting read. I wonder whatever became of
AA>this.

AA>http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html

AA>'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
AA>Wednesday March 19, 2003

AA>By CHAD KULTGEN
AA>NEW  YORK  --  Federal  investigators  have arrested an enigmatic Wall
AA>Street  wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to
AA>be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

AA>Sources   at   the  Security  and  Exchange  Commission  confirm  that
AA>44-year-old  Andrew  Carlssin  offered the bizarre explanation for his
AA>uncanny  success  in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs
AA>on January 28.

Andy should not have gotten so greedy!  If only he had shared his info
with lots of other folks things would have turned out far differently.

AA>"We  don't  believe  this  guy's  story  -- he's either a lunatic or a
AA>pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

Ha!  Andy won't give that SEC insider any tips...

AA>"But  the  fact  is,  with  an initial investment of only $800, in two
AA>weeks'  time  he  had  a  portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every
AA>trade  he  made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which
AA>simply can't be pure luck.

No luck involved at all.  Andy is a time traveler.

AA>"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information.
AA>He's  going  to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to
AA>give up his sources."

Not gonna happen.  Unless Andy decides to give his jailers a ride in his
time machine on a trip to the future.

AA>The  past  year  of  nose-diving  stock prices has left most investors
AA>crying  in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk
AA>trades  and  came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of
AA>Wall Street watchdogs.

Not only is Andy a time traveler, but he also has a photographic memory.

AA>"If   a  company's  stock  rose  due  to  a  merger  or  technological
AA>breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew
AA>about  it  in  advance,"  says  the SEC source close to the hush-hush,
AA>ongoing investigation.

Being a time traveler, Andy knew about events in the past, putting his
knowledge to good use when he traveled to this time.

AA>When  investigators  hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more
AA>than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Andy is a honest guy, having no need to lie.

AA>Carlssin  declared  that  he  had  traveled back in time from over 200
AA>years  in  the  future,  when  it  is  common  knowledge  that our era
AA>experienced  one  of  the  worst  stock plunges in history. Yet anyone
AA>armed  with  knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through
AA>the roof could make a fortune.

That's right.  And if I had a time machine I could do the same thing.
Just go back a few years and buy a few shares of yahoo.

AA>"It  was  just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his
AA>videotaped  confession.  "I  had  planned to make it look natural, you
AA>know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But
AA>I just got caught in the moment."

It is very difficult for honest folks such as Andy to try deceptive
tactics such as buying stocks they know will plunge.

AA>In  a  bid  for  leniency,  Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge
AA>"historical  facts"  such  as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a
AA>cure for AIDS.

Andy is a nice guy and wants to help everybody.  Except the bad guys.

AA>All  he  wants  is  to be allowed to return to the future in his "time
AA>craft."

His wife and kids must be wondering what is taking him so long to get
back home.

AA>However,  he  refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss
AA>how  it  works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into
AA>the wrong hands."

Gotta protect the innocent.

AA>Officials  are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus.
AA>Yet  the  SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew
AA>Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Not having a social security card or a place to stay, it took Andy a
while to come up with enough dough to play the market.  Doing odd jobs
such as cutting grass and painting houses, along with begging, is not
exactly a lucrative profession.

AA>Weekly  World  News  will continue to follow this story as it unfolds.
AA>Keep watching for further developments.

Don't worry about Andy.  Bat Boy will rescue him.

--Lee


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