Text 380, 124 rader
Skriven 2006-08-13 22:57:14 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
    Kommentar till text 378 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
Ärende: The World Turns...  3.
==============================
On or about: 08-10-06  22:42, Ardith Hinton did engage James Bradley regarding,
but not limited to: The World Turns...  3.

 AH>  folks may not want to live in the city.  But there
 AH>  are advantages....  :-)
 
 JB>  saddens me every day that I can't just up, and supplant
 JB>  myself somewhere.

 AH> Okay.  I'm not trying to talk you out of feeling the way you
 AH> do...  I'm just brainstorming (as usual).  I'm glad to see that 

Understood, and I have to expect that my moaning isn't going to afflict you too
severely. At least I hope so. The bottom line is our situations may
stink, but it beats dodging bullets for a living. That comparison doesn't make
things any brighter here, but it should serve to obliterate the
pedestal I've built under me. It doesn't.

EG: I readied some aluminum for the scrapyard on Friday, and Thursday, I pulled
some weeds in the front yard. Either I didn't do so for long, or I
made sure I didn't push myself too hard. What remained, was I slept for most of
Saturday. I had plenty of items on my short list I wanted to
accomplish, but every time I tried to get up, I instead fell asleep again. By
eight PM, I forced myself outside as I only had two hours to make
noise. I did accomplish one thing, where I had to retreat back to the couch as
soon as I could.

I have to feel good about my accomplishments, but that never soothes the
potential I am used to feeling by my previous exertions. I doubt I'll ever
abolish my frustration, unless some monumental cure is in my future. Kinda like
cultivating a Bonsai, and turning out a thistle. Sure the purple
flower is intriguing, but you can't eat it.

 AH> you're able to acknowledge your feelings, whether 
 AH> "positive" or "negative" ones, because they can tell you a 
 AH> lot.  If it's really important to you there may be a way to 
 AH> achieve your goal

Lets just say, dreams are scaled back, and reality too often extinguishes the
rest. Yes, I can set realistic goals, and more and more, they are
achieved, but I'm still a "pie in the sky" chaser. I've become accustom to a
slice of that pie every now and again, and the smell still drives me.

 AH> in their own good time....  :-)

Ya... YESTERDAY! <L> 
 

 AH> It's disappointing, I'm sure, and it may leave you with less 
 AH> incentive to carry on with some activities which have 
 AH> probably contributed to your health & well-being so far.  

Sure, when you ski for the first time post op, and only turns in one direction
work properly. I did everything in my toolkit to discount the
equipment as a factor, but it just would never be the same again. Maybe that's
a learning opportunity, and an asset I could bank on, but I doubt I
could construe it as anything but a loss. That's just what it is. Fortunate to
have ever skied, for sure, but easily replaced with another activity?
Never. /-:

 AH> But if you enjoy tinkering with machines & whatnot... I'm 
 AH> not sure one can ever have a surplus of tools.  I used to 
 AH> think I didn't really need many of the kitchen gadgets I 
 AH> possessed.  Now I find it quite amusing when Nora's young 
 AH> rehab. aide says (in the middle of a cooking project) "Oh, 
 AH> Ardith, do you have a (rolling pin, flour sifter, pizza 
 AH> cutter, or...)??"  Usually what she's doing is trying out 
 AH> various ways to accomplish a certain task in a recipe 
 AH> designed for people who can use both hands.  And I've 
 AH> always managed to produce the required item within a few 
 AH> minutes, even if it hasn't seen the light of day for some 
 AH> time.  I often wonder whether she realizes how fortunate 
 AH> she is.  :-))
 
Fortunate for Nora, her aide, or you? <L>

Sure, tools is tools, and kitchen implements are used for cooking. Most tools
are useful for many chores, but some are pretty specific. One day, I
didn't just stop buying new tools, but the question "Am I ever going to use
this?" is a lot more prevalent. 

For instance, I learned how to shingle a roof, with at least a few different
materials. I felt comfortable in my techniques, and had the implements
in the tool trunk. Will I ever get a chance to practice it? Not bloody likely.
Again, I'm not intending to burden you with this; just to state what is
what.
 

 AH> things had been done differently.  "Onward & awkward", 
 AH> that's my motto.  :-)
 
And, it is mine too! <ROTF> That *never* gets old!
 

 AH> Agreed.  I also have longevity in my family tree & 
 AH> I see how it can be a mixed blessing in some ways.  Once 
 AH> again, though, if you play the hand you've been dealt 
 AH> without making unnecessary judgements you won't be spending 
 AH> a lot of mental/emotional energy on what might have been.  
 AH> That's my preference....  :-)

I guess I'd like that to be my preference too, but I'll likely die at least a
bit bitter. I know that could serve no good, but it just is. Maybe being
iatrogenic in cause, gives me a solid target to blame? And the manner I have
been treated, doesn't help their cause either. When a lady from my
hometown asked, "You're not mad are you?" Dammed straight I'm mad. To no fault
of my own, I've been subjected to all sorts of abuse, and ill-
treatment, often from the people who were in charge of my situation, that it
never arrive at the place it is now. Now that it is, their solution is to
distance themselves from the calamity. That may be a wise move in a plane
wreck, but that behaviour only serves to embitter your victims in my
eyes. It really is good for my prior healthcare providers I'm *not* a
vindictive man. Still, I offer suggestions about how they may have failed in
their treatment of me, and nobody listens. They are literally shooting
themselves in the foot, and they hand a gun to many patients. I can not feel
empathy for them, as they showed none to me. I pity the educated fools. <G>


... James

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