Text 392, 258 rader
Skriven 2006-09-11 16:13:06 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
    Kommentar till text 390 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
Ärende: The World Turns...  3B.
===============================
On or about: 09-06-06  22:56, Ardith Hinton did engage James Bradley regarding,
but not limited to: The World Turns...  3B.

 JB>  little tender when I start a 'bitch' session.

 AH> Uh-huh.  One is more vulnerable at such times.  We tried to
 AH> go to  the PNE last week, for example, and found eight wheelchair 
 AH> spaces guarded by people who were being paid to keep 
 AH> wheelchair users out of them.  They're reserved for 
 AH> exhibitors, or for trucks making deliveries... that's what 
 AH> we were told.  There are no signs saying so.  But this is 
 AH> the area where the buses from Sunny Hill & various other 
 AH> institutions used to park.  I don't know what they did this 
 AH> year, since all the other remaining spaces were unavailable 
 AH> too.  We decided to go to Granville Island instead... and 
 AH> saw at least half a dozen wheelchairs there.  I wonder how 
 AH> many of the occupants had similar experiences at the PNE.

That's not even marginally, OK.

 AH> Am I angry??  Yes.  But apart from the folks in this echo,
 AH> most  would probably respond by saying "You could park on the 
 AH> street"... [sure, and risk an $80 fine].  Or by asking "Why 
 AH> don't you take a bus, use HandyDart, etc."... [do they 
 AH> really want to know?  Probably not].  If that's their 

If they had to ask, they couldn't 'afford' the answer.

 AH> notion of a "polite" equivalent to "you should" it's a
 AH> waste of time trying to convince them we have devoted some 
 AH> thought to the matter.  Then there's the "see-no-evil" 
 AH> approach... they can't imagine such a thing, so we must 
 AH> have misunderstood.  If we complain we may feel we have to 
 AH> defend our actions.  However, I notice that the very few 
 AH> who are willing to listen also admit they can't offer any 
 AH> better ideas....  :-/
 
The fact that there are designated spots, attest that a so-called compassionate
society has deemed them necessary, and a medical doctor has seen you as
significantly in need of that 'convenience'. Why should anyone have to prove
again, that an accesible parking location is a need? The organizers had to hear
what their little oversight meant to one carload, but more so, eight carloads
of the meek that couldn't muster to give them a piece of their mind. This
sounds not like eight times an a-hole parking where they are not authorised,
but an annex of a 'convenience'. I quote convenience, because you did find
somewhere else to go, because the PNE decided to be "handicapped intolerant."
Ask them what if, this was a hospital parking lot. Would it be equally
tolerated to save the handicapped stalls for delivery of equipment or supplies?

True, you weren't late for an appointment for an X-ray, or a dose of Chemo, but
you loaded up, with the expectation, you would be given *fair* access, which
was taken away. Ya... They would have consternated over the decision, but not
as much as if the decision makers where restricted to a chair themselves. It
frosts my cockles when *one* person is the abuser, and this sounds like a
wholesale cold.
 
 JB>  I did pass on the safety harness I saw at a pawnshop. <G>

 AH> Good!  I'd be very leery about buying such items 
 AH> second-hand....  :-)
 
You pays your money, you takes your chances. <L>

On the way to an appointment, I had time to stop at a Cash Con. I bought two
items, in a "as is" deal. The clerk said in answer to any warrantee, that he
was working the next day, and he could buy back either if they didn't work. (He
wasn't going to stamp it with a, "AS IS" stamp.) My third stop of the day, was
to a community 'connection' place, where I get free HS I-net access.

I had left my number with this connection - at least a month ago - regarding a
volunteer blitz to haul trash to the dump. As I hadn't heard back from them, I
assumed my address was not being considered.

As I walked into the computer room, the coordinator cut her commensing
conversation short, and chased me into the computer lab. Turns out, the blitz
was happening the next day, and I hadn't left my number. [She misplaced it,
(twice now) but wanted to blame someone besides herself I suppose.]

I woke up half an hour before the volunteers arrived for their initial
assessment, so out to the yard I go, and breakfast was shelved in the fridge. I
insisted they pool another hand - at *least* - for one item I had to go, and
off they went.

For the next three hours, I had my hands full, by removing the heap from around
the heavy item. Just as I uttered my third, "I'll bet they were scared off." to
myself, up pulls a fleet truck, with an extended cab, and one of those almost
useless short boxes. "OK, but you wont be able to close your gate. OK, but
you'll have to leave all sorts of stuff, because that pig is *really* heavy."
(I suppose Deloit and Toucsh doesn't concern themselves with balanced loads, or
gross vehicle weights.) As long as the big lump of metal leaves...

Yes, I did what I could to keep them from covering up their license plate. Gave
the idea, that their tarp could be folded in half. Joked about "executive
thinking" and, I let the junior executives take credit for most of it. *8-)

Bottom line, is a four hour "nap" was required after my forced exercise, and I
barely had a chance to plug in the devices I bought, the day before. When one
didn't work, I plugged it into a second computer before I *had* to retire.
Looking like an intermittent cable connection, and considering I was more
'dis', than 'able', I had to resign myself to attempting to fix the faulty
connection.

Now, when I say "a four hour nap," everyone - so far - has a chuckle about it.
The four-hour nap is a method to avoid the emergency ward. ...Again! (I know.
I've mentioned this before.) This exemplifies how a simple oversight from
another, cost me yet another sum of cash. $15 isn't about to send me to the
poor-house, but $15 x 15 times, and the two times I would have moved my
investments to another account; but the three days I spent in recovery ended
after the markets took the turn I was trying to avoid. (No, that was at least
for times!) ...And the number of phone calls I've missed, or the bills I wasn't
able to get to in time...


 AH> Instruments are different... they need to be 
 AH> used.  I still miss that sax.  A lot of tools don't go bad 
 AH> if they sit idle for awhile, and I'd probably hang onto 
 AH> those.  Like you, however, I wouldn't acquire any more just 
 AH> yet.  :-)

Right, reeds are replaceable, but the cork needs to receive moisture? (AKA: a
spit valve? B-)
 
 
 JB>  Complaining about your shelves, while their own back yard
 JB>  is full? No, I have no idea what you are talking about. O-8*

 AH> Many people don't connect the dots.  If this sort of thing
 AH> weren't  so common, it might be regarded as a learning 
 AH> disability....  :-/
 
And the first step, is always admitting there is a problem to begin with. Ya,
too funny, if it wasn't so tragic. /-:

Dad's been an a-hole again, where out of his mouth, comes, "You don't need that
cane." in a derogatory tone. I then said "I need it to keep your sorry ass
inline, at least." The hint wasn't taken, and as sure as sun shines, I end up
walking home without the stick.

"Why aren't you able to come out?" for the next two days, was almost
intolerable to answer. Like mom saying, "I understand the lectures might make
you feel awkward." "Ahhh... No! Standing in the back of the theatre for three
hours makes me feel uncomfortable. Not doing anything but put a dent in the
couch for three days, make me feel uncomfortable. Leaving in TEARS, because I
can not comfortably shake out the cobwebs in an undisturbing way, makes me feel
uncomfortable." Buy a clue already!


 JB>  I raised that very issue, as my sisters tried to fix mom.


 AH> Uh-huh.  Others have tried to fix me as well... 
 AH> and I suspect what it boils down to in a lot of cases is 
 AH> that they want me to be more like them.  :-)

No, I know nothing about the type. <ROTF>
 
Without feeling elitist, sometimes what a subject needs, is to be more like
everybody else. Mom said to me, "It's your job to know about anxiety, so you
can better understand me." "No, it's your job to understand anxiety, so I don't
have to deal with your increasing list of demands."

As cruel as it sounds, I'll bet that was the first time she heard such a thing,
from anyone outside the health profession. Ta HELL, if I don't have my own
issues, and I need more!?! Again, it would be hilarious, if it wasn't so
pathetic.

Yes, I am grateful I don't have total ingrates for parents, but they sure could
make our lives easier if they could see how close to pathetic some of their
actions are. And then there's the most trained Sociologist in the bunch,
enabling in the worst way, and yet not be cognoscent of it. Where her
'non-favourite' gets all her back stabbing, she refuses to make her favourite
accountable. No, my family is perfect. <LOL>
 

 AH> Yes, that's what I would do in most cases.  I don't know
 AH> your  sisters & I'm out of my depth with regard to a lot of what 
 AH> goes on between siblings.  I can't help thinking the 


I believe, that others are so rarely exposed to my intolerance, that it shocks
them when it happens. "This isn't like you." "No, this is the bullshit you've
never heard from me, because you were too preoccupied to pull your head out of
your..."

When the eldest was pandering to my father, I mentioned how he was responding
to that. Well, both bullies start attacking me. "BS. I told you my take on your
behaviour, and you need me to shut up? ...Not gonna happen!"

Around the same time, they were swarming me with questions about what I was
going to do with a trailer on my property, while they where making arrangements
to sell dads' house. No matter how many times I told them, that it would be a
non-issue, the barrage continued. "Don't worry, it'll go out of town, and that
will not be a worry for you." No respite for your author, so I shouted, "I'll
move the f-n' thing two inches from the g-d property line, and you can do
NOTHING to stop me."

"You know you made your sister cry. She's crying outside now." "Good!"

"How can you... Don't you feel sorry... We were just asking... " Ya... they're
just bullies, and refuse to stop until they get their own way.

As if us shy types aren't capable of observing peoples behaviours? <L>

 AH> situation bears some resemblance, however, to a problem I
 AH> had awhile ago with a certain person.  Eventually she 
 AH> decided to ignore me... or so I gather, because she's done 
 AH> the same to other folks... hoping I'd "learn a lesson".  
 AH> And I did, but not quite the way she'd had in mind!  I 
 AH> found a book called CONTROLLING PEOPLE by Patricia Evans.  
 AH> I could hardly believe the two of them weren't known to 
 AH> each other because the author had portrayed her with such 
 AH> uncanny accuracy.  Anyway, the bottom line is that *when 
 AH> it's about control* it doesn't have to make sense.  Folks 
 AH> like you & me will try to shed some light on the subject... 
 AH> but with control freaks, one may find it counterproductive. 
 AH> The author doesn't have any real solution except to run 
 AH> like hell.  That may not be practical in all cases.  
 AH> Nevertheless, it's easier not to get caught up in such 
 AH> games when one understands what's going on.  And while I do 
 AH> have some regrets I must say the absence of carping & 
 AH> criticism has come as a great relief....  :-)

Now, move that control freak next door! At least the rest of them live further
away. <LOL>

Sorry again for the venting. Seems like I need to let it out after the Vacouver
sister comes for a visit. <Hmmm... =B-> Her last visit, had me greet her at the
airport, and reply, "I want to divorce our parents." in answer to "How are
you?"

On this Edmointon trip, I told mom how I felt at a request to see *a* map, but
not before I asked if she wanted to see a provincial map, or the national one.
"I gave you a few maps to use." "Ya, you want the Alberta map, or the Canadian
one? The only other one that's valid is the one I'm using. Give me a second." I
found our route, expressed the next two turns, and memorized the same. Then I
offered the map that was on my lap. "NO!!! Let me see the OTHER map." "Which
other map, the Alberta map, or the Canada map?" "I gave you a few maps." "Yes,
here's the one that I am done with." "NO... You keep that one, I gave you a few
maps. Pass me one of those!"

And then there's the nerve, "Are you mad at me? I feel you're a little
hostile." I should have known after our Regina experience.

Yet I asked if she wants to return to Edmonton in my pickup truck, when I haul
a jack-hammer, and tiles there. <Oh, oh!>

Maybe if I 'lose' the map? (... out an open, drivers' side window. =B-)

Of course, this is just my story, but I'm stickin' to it. <EG>



... Thanks, no really, Thank YOU. NO thank YOU! [-;=

___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20

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 * Origin: -=-= Calgary Organization CDN (403) 242-3221 (1:134/77)