Text 414, 171 rader
Skriven 2006-10-21 12:25:20 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
    Kommentar till text 411 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
Ärende: My Family and...  2.
============================
On or about: 10-15-06  23:04, Ardith Hinton did engage James Bradley regarding,
but not limited to: My Family and...  2.

 JB>  "You know you made your sister cry. She's crying
 JB>  outside now."

 AH> Uh-huh.  So *you* are a Big Meanie because *they* didn't

I've got big shoulders. They'll fit two.

 AH> understand  or didn't believe you'd make this trailer disappear for a
 AH> suitable interval, and/or because you'd had enough of their 
 AH> attempts to micro-manage the procedure?  Maybe it's about 
 AH> time they realized they can't force you to do things their 
 AH> way.  :-))
 
All valid observations. They had valid points for their curiosity, as the hip
was being a bitch at the time, but for them to understand or trust that I was
more able than them at anything, was beyond their comprehension. Just like they
were still three to four grades ahead of me in school, the easy target for
their concerns was still 'the kid'.

If they could open their eyes for any length of time, they'd notice I have
skills. Just last month, I was parlaying how I had to increase my salt intake
to one of them, and the reply came, "Where did you hear this from?" in a
condescending tone. Little did I feel like describing the electrolytes involved
in our matabolysm, and how WWII taught us how NOT to kill the malnourished, I
instead snapped, "From my doctor." From there, I added how he casually
mentioned a dash of table salt in a 'softdrink' works in a *pinch.* <L>

Again, I could have delved into the recipe for a home made electrolyte
solution, but instead, I sneered back that I could go into toxic shock without
more salt in my diet, and left the room. If she wants to research it, she'll
find out what an ass she's been making of herself. Instead, I expect my next
declaration to be met with equal ignorance, and just as snarky an attitude.

I was exposed to my neighbours ignorance, and intolerance this summer. (I
forget if I mentioned *any* of this yet, so you have the priviledge of hearing
it anyway. B-) All I could do, was ask him to reconsider a few points about
replacing the existing fence posts that I was struggling to circumvent last
year. His words back then, was "As long as I don't have to spend any money." He
was pretty adement to, "...Not spend a nickle." Off I go, harvesting and
salvaging suplies, and admitedly, the net result was getting rather conveluted
as I was trying to span sixteen feet with crossbracing. His wife must have
talked a few nickles loose from the tightwad, as this year they offered to
split the costs with me. I could have nickle-d and dime-d him, but instead, I
took the high road.

When I heard his plan, was to put a post in, "Exactly eight feet apart." I
begged him to consider going a touch less, so we could cut that inch off,
instead of trapsing off to buy ten foot stingers, just to cut one foot, ten
inches off each one. I left notes to that affect, and when I heard the hired
help was arriving to turn earth, I even layed out salvaged, and perfect 2X
stock, indicating where holes should be dug for a fudge factor, equalling
thirteen sections. Nope... Forteen sections - two being less than two feet were
dictated, and I was outvoted. (I couldn't be there that day, either.)

"Fine, lets just be careful to peg these so we can adjust to fit our 92.5 inch
stringers." Imagine, two headaches could have been eliminated by some simple
math, and that was too complicated. <shrug> Like I've never come across *that*
before. <ROTF>

Through our next few days, I tried to point out how the job could have looked
much more professional, and I really *did* try not to slam a 2X upside his head
and yell, "I TOLD-a so!" As my audience was having a selective hearing episode,
I walked away when he was about to nail in a North-South bracket, for an
East-West fence. I was half laughing, but mostly, I turned away so he wouldn't
see the street-wide smile come across my face. Funny how his hearing improved,
once we ran into our first eight foot, two inch section. <L>


 AH> I suspected you were an introvert.  So am I.  Introverts got
 AH> a bum  rap when Freud, who was an extrovert, had a falling out 
 AH> with Jung & Adler... both of whom were introverts, according to the
 AH> author  whose books Dallas reviewed awhile ago.  She says 
 AH> extroverts tend to think in sound bites & may not hear what 
 AH> folks like us are saying unless we do as you did with your 
 AH> relatives, i.e. deliver the message emphatically in twenty-
 AH> five words or less.  When we get fed up I suspect we use 
 AH> the adrenaline pathway in the brain... as they usually do.  

Now, *that* explains a lot of situations. How much consternation was wasted
over being gregarious?

I doubt I was described often as an introvert, as I was always a popular
figure. I was analytical, specially in science, and when others were trying to
force their opinions on me. Often, I'd be just as content letting them think
they were golden, by my pointing out one strength in their argument on one
tangent. As they weren't listening to any other logic, I figured their real
reason for making a fool of themselves was to bolster their own ego.

They were able to walk away a victor in their own mind, and I could turn to
supress my laughter. Maybe they could replay the words they missed at some
later time, but chances are they like to be blissfully ignorant, and will
remain that way until their demise. What are ya gonna do, eh?

Of course, we're perfect. <wink>

 AH> Now that it's possible to track which neurons are firing at
 AH> a given time there is some medical evidence that introverts 
 AH> spend more time observing other people's behaviour, and 
 AH> making sure their frontal lobes are engaged before putting 
 AH> their mouths in gear. To an extrovert we may seem rather 
 AH> stupid & slow of thought at times.  But as in the fable 
 AH> about the hare & the tortoise, we're not so easily 
 AH> distracted....  ;-)

"So what if your car can do 200mph. What happens when we drive North, and the
gas stations run sparce?"

No, I was always comfortable labeling myself "shy". I think mom and dad did
their best to brake me of that trait, but I never was ashamed of it. Sure,
there are times I kick myself for not being more forward, but those times come
around to a "Should-a... Could-a..." I try to kick myself once, and hard enough
so I won't forget it.

Of course there are strengths to many aproaches, but I feel the real strength
in character, is when one can stutter one step, and realize what a bear trap
was ahead. Who hasn't stepped on those traps while "Boldly going", but to learn
to avoid them I believe earned its providence by the evolution to an Amoeba.

I hope my neighbour learned: A) You get what you pay for, B) It pays to listen
to ideas, no mater how much they differ than ones own, C) Maybe *he*
contributes more to the problem, than the solution. I'll put down good money,
that he just found something else to belittle his wife with the next day, but
maybe - even for a sliver of time - he might have realized a North-South fence
has no place in an East-West property line.

When he was dictating to me, what kind of fence he and his wife were willing to
pay half for, and he was detailed in his descriptions, continuing with
conviction after I piped in, and called it a "Good-Neighbour" design. Again, as
he drew another breath, "Yes, I know exactly what you are describing, and it's
called a 'Good-Neighbour' design. The only way yours differs from the last
Good-Neighbour I built, is...[Bla-bla-bla] But I like this idea of yours, as it
will prevent sagging." I could tell his shock at my aproval, let alone that I
might know more about any topic than he does, but that's my plight, and
actually something I delight in - as you may well have noticed. ("It's not like
I HAVEN'T described it enough." |-)
 

 AH> When my parents were alive we were a few blocks
 AH> away... near enough to get there quickly if need be, yet 
 AH> far enough to do our own thing.  :-)
 
As much as I complain, I'm sure I have gained more than I have lost by living
next door to dad. I'm not speaking financially, but there were huge gains in
the economy of scale too. Early, when the topic of cutting a door through the
common wall came up, I could always joke about the drawbacks to that line of
thinking.


 AH> No problem!  IMHO it's healthier than holding the stuff
 AH> in....  :-) 

Often, I just remind myself how much a 'bitch' I am. You are welcome to tell me
to "Get off it!"

Often - in a forum like this - I am reminded how I can make sense of things,
that just can't make any sense at the time. My complaints are often just
hair-splitting, but I tend to thrive on trying to make sense out of the
rediculous. I guess it's a good thing that I still find a lot of things and
people a puzzle; often with peices missing, and obviously in wrong places.



... James

___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20

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