Text 489, 92 rader
Skriven 2007-06-27 23:12:03 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
    Kommentar till text 486 av Daryl Stout (14.survivor)
Ärende: Reality
===============
Hi, Daryl!  Recently you wrote in a message to All:

DS>  I had a nightmare of Janice's death all over again...


          While they may appear to add insult to injury, nightmares are fairly
typical in situations like yours.  Janice's death must have been quite a shock
because it was sudden & unexpected.  Your subconscious mind is processing this
stuff just as it often does with other folks who have been through a traumatic
experience.  Hang in there.  Dreams are a part of the healing process....  :-)



DS>  I was able to donate the CCTV reader to Arkansas Library
DS>  for The Blind...a reader I had purchased just 3 weeks before
DS>  she died...so, Janice could still give after her death.


          Yes... and no doubt somebody will be sending warm fuzzies to both of
you as a result!  I had an aunt who died many years ago, before Nora was born.
She was a Red Cross volunteer who probably donated blood from time to time.  I
don't know for sure because she never said much about what she was doing.  But
when Nora had leukemia the blood she received from this organization helped to
save her life... so I often think of my aunt & others like her with gratitude.



DS>  I've been emailing a Visiting Sysop who logs onto my BBS,
DS>  and he is going through similar things...he lost his wife
DS>  4 years ago, but "it seems like yesterday". So, in a way,
DS>  we're leaning on each other for support.

DS>  But, it still doesn't make it any easier. :(


          Maybe, maybe not.  A lot depends on the nature of your communication
with this individual.  Dallas & have a friend, for example, with a child who's
multiply handicapped.  In many cases she can't fix our problems & we can't fix
hers, but we all feel better when we realize there's at least one other person
who understands where we're coming from.  And if you can speak or write openly
about your thoughts & feelings, as you seem to be doing, your subconscious may
find it less urgent to work on the same ideas via the metaphor of dreams.  :-)



DS>  I'm going the National Singles Square Dance Convention
DS>  in North Little Rock over Labor Day Weekend (it's in a
DS>  different city each year), and while I know I'll see
DS>  many old friends there, it'll be hard.

DS>  Janice and I were so looking forward to attending...where
DS>  the single ladies would start schmoozing on me, and I'd
DS>  interrupt "by the way, would you like to meet my wife?",
DS>  and Janice would wryly grin and wave. <G> Sadly, that
DS>  won't occur.


          And now people who knew both of you will be saying "Where's Janice?"
That could be difficult.  If you'd still prefer to go because you enjoy square
dancing & want to connect with old friends, it makes sense to me... as long as
you're not secretly hoping to find a replacement for her!  Other folks will be
attracted to what they see in you.  So if you want an honest relationship with
another person you need to be honest with yourself about your motives....  ;-)



DS>  I could "theoretically shop for a relationship"


          Theoretically you could... and from what you've said, I imagine a lot
of other participants there may be doing the same thing.  But IMHO your chances
of finding the right person will have more to do with sharing a common interest
in an activity like square dancing than in sharing a common interest in getting
married.  First you fill your life with activities which interest you, then you
begin to realize you especially enjoy sharing them with So-and-So.  You'll know
who she is when you don't need anybody to fill the empty space in your heart...
i.e. the one Janice occupied until recently.  That may take awhile yet....  :-/



DS>  I think it's still way too early, and too dangerous to
DS>  do so...as in a way, I consider myself vulnerable...and
DS>  still in a state of grief and mourning.


          Yes, to everything there is a season.  Hold that thought....  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
 * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)