Text 18, 101 rader
Skriven 2005-01-18 23:20:00 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
Ärende: next batch
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I'll try anything once too often.
I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I CAN shoplift!!
I'm Buy-sexual, I have to pay for it.
I'm a Freud I can't do that.
I'm a vegetarian, you know, and pork is my favorite vegetable.
I'm a vegetarian, you know, and pork is my favorite vegetable.
I'm from the IRS, and I'm here to help you.
I'm immortal.  I'm bored.  Let's party.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm just a Crow waiting for roadkill on the Information Highway.
I'm just a simple man working on the land.
I'm just a simple man.
I'm just moving clouds today - tomorrow I'll try mountains.
I'm just trying out this tagline. It's not registered yet
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm looking for results, not ideology.
I'm married to a Computer Widow!
I'm not crazy, I just don't give a s#1t
I'm not dead -- I'm just electroencephalographically challenged!
I'm not really paranoid...they really are out to get me!
I'm not tense, just terribly alert!
I'm out of bed and dressed.  What more do you want?
I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM.
I'm pretty sure I put out the cat and pureed the tomatos.
I'm schitzophrenic and so am I.
I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my wife.
I'm so hungry, I could almost eat health food
I'm user friendly, I don't byte -- I nybble.
I'm usually awake near the end of the day
I'm working on my 2nd $million...  Gave up on the 1st.
I've got a sense of humor. I just don't have a sense of anything else.
I've just changed brokers--from stock to pawn.
I've never seen a good war or a bad piece!
IBM PS/1 - The EDLIN of Computers!
IBM PS/1 ?  - A Prodigy Workstation !
IBM stands for "Inferior But Marketable"
IBM-making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY!
IF (User-Docs) = 1 THEN;(CALL(TechSupport))
IF Tagline = 'STOLEN' THEN; Insult(Thief); ENDI
IF dazzle<>'brilliance' THEN;SET V baffle='bullshit';END
IF gray_matter IS NULL THEN; GOTO dBASE; ENDI
IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
IF original_works THEN don't_upgrade ENDIF
IOWA - Idiots Out Wandering Around
If God had intended us to vote, he would have given us good candidates
If God wanted us to be thin, food wouldn't taste so good.
If Halliburton made flu vaccine, we'd be swimming in it
If I can't have it all, I think I'll just cry a lot.
If I could put time in a bottle....
If I could type, I'd be a great groprammer !
If I had a hammer, I'd get hammered in the morning
If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you
If I were truly original, I'd think of something cute.
If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
If Jesus was Jewish, why does he have a Mexican name?
If Life's a trip, where the hell is MY ticket?
If a woman won't live forever, why give her a diamond?
If anyone has an idea why do I this, keep it to yourself
If anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
If at 1st you don't succeed, call it v1.0.
If at first you don't succeed, *.* & forget it
If at first you don't succeed, cry a lot.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average
If at first you don't suceed, you're about normal.
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If brains were C-4, you couldn't blow your nose!
If he knew 9 more things, he'd be an idiot.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream & shout
If it has syntax, it's not user freindly!
If it has tits or tires you're gonna have trouble with it
If it is to be, it is up to me!  (10 most important 2 letter words)
If it isn't borken, don't fix it.
If it isn't broken, I can fix it.
If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why.
If it screams, it's not food, yet....
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it weren't for politicians there wouldn't be a deficit
If it works, something went wrong.
If it's green and it wiggles, it's biology.
If its Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em ???
If mother says no, ask grandma.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
If screwups were dollars, I'd be a millionaire!!
If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.
If that's my brain on drugs, can I have sausage with it?
If this is Hell - where are the lawyers???

Cheers

Jim, in Yellowknife, getting lighter, still cold



... I don't have references, I just 'know' - spooky heh!
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