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Ärende: LESSON 9  -  Self-esteem
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LESSON 9    *February 19 - 25
Self-esteem


SABBATH AFTERNOON
Read for This Week's Study: Ps. 100:3, Acts 17:24-28, Rom. 12:3, Matt. 22:39, 2
Samuel 9, Luke 15, Eph. 4:23-32.

Memory Text:


"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people
belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of
darkness into his wonderful light"(1 Peter 2:9, NIV).

         Diminished self-esteem is a modern plague. It often is brought to the
counseling or pastoral offices either by itself or in association with such
full-blown problems as substance-related abuse, depression, or eating
disorders.
In everyday existence, low self-esteem may never reach clinical proportions,
but it almost invariably hurts relationships and impairs performance in most
areas of life.

Perhaps the main reason people suffer more than ever from this problem is the
media, which often portrays its celebrities as larger than life, leaving others
to feel their own inadequacy in contrast to the icons paraded before them.

The idea of self-esteem as presented in the Bible has a different perspective.
Conventional psychology sees self-esteem as the evaluation someone makes of
their own attributes and characteristics based on their observation of
themselves and on others' input. The Bible offers at least two additional
components: What humans are by origin (Gen. 1:26, 27) and what God thinks of
and grants to each person (John 3:16). When we add these components, so much
regarding self-esteem can change.

*Study this week's lesson to prepare for Sabbath, February 26.

SUNDAY    February 20
Origins

Two prevailing views of human origins exist, each mutually exclusive of the
other. One portrays humans as products of pure chance, the result of a cosmic
accident in which our existence wasn't planned for. We just happened to come
into existence. Though this view always has existed among some people, in
recent centuries--particularly after the false theories of Charles Darwin
became popular--the idea of humanity existing purely by accident has deceived
millions. Thus, many have come to believe that life is inherently without
purpose, or that any purpose it might have individuals must try to make for
themselves. For millennia most people thought that they had originated from God
or from gods; today, many think that they came from the apes.

In contrast, there's the view taught in the Bible.

Read Genesis 1:26, 27; Psalm 8:5, 100:3; and Acts 17:24-28. How radically
different is what's presented in these texts from the view of our origins as
expressed previously? How should each view impact our own sense of self-worth
and self-esteem?

Not only did God purposely create us, He created us in His image. He also
created other wonderful, life-bearing plants and animals, but in their beauty
and perfection they do not bear resemblance to their Maker as humans do.
Furthermore, humanity is placed above all of them with dominion and authority.

In contrast to the atheist belief in no transcendent purpose for our human
biology and psychology, the Bible teaches us that God chose to share "His
image" with the human family. Obviously, much of that image has been marred and
lost by generations of sin, yet the imprint continues in each person, and that
lost image can be restored progressively by the transforming power of the
Spirit working in those who are surrendered to Christ.

Not only did God create us, He redeemed us, as well. In fact, Ellen White said
that Christ would have died for even one person. What does that tell us about
our inherent worth, regardless of what the world might think of us? Why is it
so important to keep before us our worth in the eyes of God?
MONDAY    February 21
Self-perceptions

What I see in myself is one important component of self-esteem. However, it is
an incomplete and often faulty picture. Subjectivity can lead to
misinterpretation when assessing people, including ourselves.

One of the gravest biblical warnings is against passing judgment on someone
else: "For at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself"
(Rom. 2:1, NIV; see also Luke 6:41, 42). Distortion seems universal, and people
are subject to commit mistakes when judging others. The same happens with self.
There is a great deal of error when one judges oneself in terms of ability,
looks, character, power, etc. There always are going to be people smarter,
better looking, and more gifted than you; at the same time, there always will
be people who will look at you and feel themselves to be inferior.

Read prayerfully and carefully Matthew 22:39. What is implied in this text
regarding how we should view ourselves?

This text implies that a reasonable amount of love should go to oneself (though
this is not the main focus of the text). There should be a healthy pride in
things well done, in well-accomplished tasks, and in the good traits and
characteristics one may possess. There is an expected attitude of
self-protection and caring for oneself. The problem comes when someone does not
give credit to God, the Creator of all good things in us.

How are we to understand Romans 12:3 in light of what we've looked at so far?

There is a desirable middle area between extremely low self-esteem and
arrogance. And Paul warns against the latter. At the same time, Romans 12:4-8
explains that the body of Christ needs the input of each member, according to
the individual gifts given to them by grace. There is nothing wrong in
acknowledging each gift, using them to strengthen Christ's church, and thanking
God for them.

Make a mental list of the good personal attributes, characteristics, and
abilities that God has given you. How can you use them and at the same time
remain humble? How can looking daily at the cross help keep us in our place?
TUESDAY    February 22
What Others See

In so many societies, a person's worth is determined by their talents, gifts,
appearance, and so forth. We do look at outward appearance (1 Sam. 16:7); after
all, that's all we can see. Thus, our concept of self often is shaped by the
reaction others display, based on their outward observation of us. If everyone
tells you that you are pretty, you will be more likely to view yourself as
pretty.

But there always is much more to each of us than meets the eye. Individuals
experiencing poor self-esteem need to think in terms of personal traits or
attributes that are of true value and not necessarily what the world values,
because so often what the world values is of no value to God.

What are the things that your society and culture place so much value on? How
important do you think those things are to God?

There may be exceptions, but most societies tend to place excessive value in
outward, observable features. However, other traits, such as honesty, kindness,
temperance, or firm commitment to principles and ideals, tend to occupy
secondary places.

How does gender/class/nationality prejudice affect people's self-esteem? What
should be the Christian's aim in terms of prejudice and discrimination? Gal.
3:28.

The effects of prejudice are devastating on self-esteem and performance. As
Christians, we should be making a concentrated effort to uplift and encourage
others, regardless of their background.

In 2 Samuel 9, there is the story of Mephibosheth, who could have been the
target of retaliation by David. No wonder he showed fear, fell on his face to
the ground, and called himself "a dead dog." He was also crippled. There is no
doubt that the restoration of the family property, the reassignment of
servants, and the honors granted brought to Mephibosheth an extra measure of
self-worth. The influence that people have on others' self-esteem is extremely
powerful. More than we realize, we have the ability to shape others'
self-concept through words, actions, and even how we look at them.

How careful, or careless, are you with how you impact the self-esteem of
others? Think about your closest relationships. How can you help build up these
people as opposed to tearing them down?
WEDNESDAY    February 23
What God Sees

Read Luke 15. What should that one chapter alone tell us about our worth to
God? How should this impact our own sense of self-esteem? What do these
parables tell us about what God thinks of us? Why is this so important to know
and to keep before us?

If someone feels tempted to dwell upon being inferior, lost, or outcast, they
should remember that something else goes with that condition--a special and
intense care from God and His angels. The shepherd cared more for the lost
sheep than for the remaining ninety-nine. The woman forgot her other coins and
searched carefully until she found the lost one. The father appears to have
given more attention to the unreasonable demands of the prodigal son than to
his firstborn. Shepherd, woman, and father all show a special consideration for
the least successful individual.

Then, when the lost are found, there is great joy on earth and in heaven. Look
at how powerfully these stories reveal to us the love of God for each one of
us, regardless of our faults.

This principle can play out in helping those in need. So often, in talking with
others, if you can give them a nonthreatening, confidential, and accepting
environment, that alone can do them so much good. People, especially hurting
people, need to know that someone cares for them, especially in their pain.

A Christian has a clear advantage over someone who does not accept or believe
in the Lord. God is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to listen to the
depressed, stressed, lonely, and anxious soul. This relationship with God
should be sufficient reason to feel special and to gain some relief from low
self-esteem.

Of course, the greatest example of our worth in the eyes of God is the Cross.
That more than anything should show us just how valuable we are to God,
regardless of whatever weaknesses and faults we have. The Cross tells us that
no matter what others think of us, or what our society thinks of us, we are of
infinite value to the Creator of the universe. And considering how fleeting and
transitory and contingent society and its values are, in the end how much
should the view of others and of society as a whole really matter to us,
anyway?

How can we help others take the message in Luke 15 and apply it to themselves?
How can we help others realize that Jesus here is talking about them
personally?
THURSDAY    February 24
A New Self

Read Ephesians 4:23, 24. What does Paul mean by "putting on" the new self? What
is the nature of this new self?

People like to try new looks: changing hairstyle, buying new types of clothes,
even getting a face-lift or hair transplant. But these changes will bring only
minor variations inside. The basic self will remain unchanged.

Paul talks about a new self, related not to appearance but to attitude and
mental nature. He says that we are "created to be like God in true
righteousness and holiness" (vs. 24, NIV).

Outline the attitudes and behaviors coming out of the new self. Eph. 4:25-32.

The new self referred to by Paul exhibits successful fruits (truthfulness,
unity, honesty, diligence, wholesome talk, kindness, forgiveness). Notice, too,
that all of the new self's attributes have to do with good character and
interpersonal relationships, and these can be tied directly to questions of
self-esteem. The adverse behaviors mentioned in Ephesians 4, such as lying,
anger, and bitterness, leave the person with a diminished sense of value. In
contrast, sharing with those in need and being kind and compassionate are
actions that can enhance self-esteem, as they change a person's focus from self
and thus leave the person with a sense of accomplishment.

The Christian community needs people who are interested in building others up
rather than destroying them. The concept of self easily can be ruined in no
time with rude words of criticism. "Upon every family, upon every individual
Christian, is laid the duty of barring the way against corrupt speech. When in
the company of those who indulge in foolish talk, it is our duty to change the
subject of conversation if possible. By the help of the grace of God we should
quietly drop words or introduce a subject that will turn the conversation into
a profitable channel."--Ellen G. White, Christ's Object Lessons, p. 337.

Why is it that helping somebody enhances your own self-esteem? Make a list of
small things that you can do for your neighbor, partner, or family member. Do
them; you may be surprised at how well you feel about yourself.
FRIDAY    February 25
Further Study:


"If God cares for a sparrow . . . how will he care for the purchase of the
blood of Christ? One soul is worth more than all the world. For one soul Jesus
would have passed through the agony of Calvary that that one might be saved in
his kingdom. 'Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.'
"--Ellen G. White, The Review and Herald, May 3, 1892.

"We lose many and rich blessings because we neglect to seek the Lord with
humble hearts. When we come to Him in sincerity of heart, asking Him to reveal
our defects, He will show us a true picture of ourselves, reflected in the
mirror of His Word. Then, having seen ourselves as God sees us, let us not go
away forgetting what manner of men we are. Let us study critically the features
of our character that are defective, and seek for grace to make them like the
pattern presented in the Word of God."--Ellen G. White, The Lake Union Herald,
November 3, 1909.

The two paragraphs above give us additional insight to maintain the balance
between inferiority and vanity. Read Romans 12:2, 3 in the light of these texts
to gain understanding into attaining a balanced self-concept.

Discussion Questions:

        The twentieth century was one of the most violent ever, with mass
murder seen on a scale as never before. How could the Darwinian view of human
existence, which postulates that all life is a product of random mutation and
natural selection, be partially responsible for this total disregard for the
sanctity of human life? In other words, if human beings are just advanced apes,
products of chance alone, what is the inherent value of an individual life?
  Tuesday's lesson looked at how the perceptions of others can impact a
person's self-worth. Though we want to affirm people and help them have a
healthy sense of self-worth, we also need to be careful about feeding someone's
ego and pumping them up in ways that could be detrimental to them. How can we
strike the right balance here: affirming folk without, in the process, damaging
them in a different way?

   Dwell more on the question of what the cross of Christ teaches us about our
individual worth. Think about what happened at the cross, who was on it, and
what His death meant. How should the Cross help us have a better sense of what
our individual worth really is?

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