Text 26740, 120 rader
Skriven 2009-07-30 06:13:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
Ärende: picnic house rules 940
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There are a few things that people have to know about
the house where the picnic is being held on Sunday.

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Parking

I still have only two permits. Will try to find more.

Park anywhere that has a sign for resident parking.
If on Essex St. or Derby St., no permit is necessary.
Otherwise, hang the permit, printed side out, off the
rear-view mirror. Close the windows and lock your car.
Stolen permits can be sold for a hundred smackeroos and
will not be replaced to the proper owner if lost or stolen.
And please please return the things afterward for the
same reason.

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Alcohol should be consumed only on the property, not
on the street.

Tobacco should be consumed only on the street, not on
the property.

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Front gate. It stays open (I think a mistake).

There is a front lawn area: some fly-by-night gardener put
sod up, and it's dying a terrible death. I think it's clay
soil with poor drainage, something like that. In any case,
please stay off it mostly.

Entry. The main door is obvious, to the right. It leads to
a staircase with 17 easy-to-negotiate steps. The back door
is also obvious, straight ahead. 16 rickety steps to the
second floor kitchen and thence the bathroom. 9 rickety
steps down to the basement and its half bath.

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Basement

If you want to use the computer, printer, washer, and/or
dryer, consult me. There is a toilet and sink down there.
I'll try to remember to keep the light on. It reminds one
of something encountered at summer camp or something, but
it works.

First floor rear

This is the territory of Nancy, the downstairs tenant,
who will be there for at least part of the picnic.
She may or may not open her place to us. She has a
nice kitchen and a nice bathroom.

First floor front

This is my area, and you're welcome to use it. I would
prefer to have the big front door stay locked most of
the time, as there have been opportunistic thefts in the
neighborhood via open house and car doors. There is no
running water in this area.

Second floor

Kitchen:

Do not attempt to fill the dishwasher until you have been
taught its eccentricities.

Do not attempt to pull out the upper canned goods drawer
until you have been taught its eccentricities.

Failure to heed these warnings may result in embarrassment
or worse.

There are crackers and stuff in the upper oven, kept there to
retard staleage. If you want to use the upper oven, it would
be a good idea to move these things out first. The control
knob of this oven is removed as a reminder (it lives in the
drawer below and to the right).

Filters for the coffeepot are in the drawer below.

If you use something up or toss something spoiled, let me
know so I can make a note to have it replaced.

Bathroom:

Towels are in the cabinet to the right of the door. Feel
free to take a shower but towel down the tile afterwards
to prevent mildew.

Cats:

These will be confined to quarters (the second floor
bedroom), with closed doors. If you want to visit them,
go through the marked door off the living room, which leads
to the music roomette, which will serve as a cat airlock.
There are two of the monsters:

Chevy is smaller and lighter and will eat anything you
put in front of him. He's the smarter, more cunning brother.

Buick is burly and darker and eats mostly dry food and
poultry if offered. He is said to have a room-temperature
at best IQ; on the other hand, he is better than the other
at getting people to do what he wants.

Both like to play; both will claw (no front claws, though)
or bite (Buick will bite hard) if overstimulated.

Both are escape artists. Make sure they don't escape.

Please do not feed them people food.

The cat part is the most important of these instruction.
Though they'd love to bolt for freedom, they are indoor cats
and have no front claws.
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