Text 42324, 66 rader
Skriven 2006-11-07 10:58:00 av Michiel van der Vlist (2:280/5555)
  Kommentar till text 42272 av Jeff Smith (1:14/0)
Ärende: Insults
===============
Hello Jeff!

On Sunday November 05 2006 12:11, you wrote to me:

 MV>> My surname is "van der Vlist". Just like my father and my
 MV>> grandfather. I inherited it from them.  It is not "Vlist" and "van
 MV>> der" is not my middle name.

 JS>      And everyone is supposed to already know that how? People find
 JS> out by either asking first if they have the forsight to do so. Or,
 JS> they do as I would think most would do what they are used to doing
 JS> until they find out otherwise.

You mean you are not clearvoyant and did not research the matter? You just used
it as you always do? Then why do you expect others to do a lot more than that?
Let me again remind you of what you wrote to me a few weeks ago:

 jF>      What country does the person live that you were responding to?
 jF> Seems to me that you would know how your statement would be taken.
 jF> When you communicate in an international forum such as this one should
 jF> try to take that into account when choosing their words.

 MV>> I live here, I used the term as it is used here.

 jf>     Since you chose to use the term it behoved you to consider the
 jf> meaning it would have by the people that your were communicating with.

So why does it behove me to do extensive research to find out how the words I
choose will fall on your side if the pond, while for yourself you think you can
get away with "how am I supposed to know that?"?

Seems to me you are applying a double standard.

 JS>>> I can not speak for the intentions of anyone but myself. I will
 JS>>> say though that we tend to use a certain amount of latitude here
 JS>>> in the use of peoples names. Myself included with no insult
 JS>>> necessarily intended. An example here would be the first name of
 JS>>> James. Variations here that might be used would be Jim, Jimmy,
 JS>>> Jimbo, Jimster, Etc without there having to  be an insult
 JS>>> intended.

 MV>> I think that is typically American. Over here we normally address
 MV>> the people by the name they present themselves with. In FidoNet
 MV>> that would be the name as in teh message header. The use of
 MV>> diminutives is for adressing children. Used on adults it is
 MV>> insulting.

 MV>> O, yes and using the surname in the second person without "mr".
 MV>> "mrs". "miss" or a title is considered insulting as well. When I
 MV>> was young it was used to address a subordinate or an employee,
 MV>> but that has gone out of fashion and is no longer considered
 MV>> polite.


 MV>> Cheers, Michiel

 MV>> --- GoldED+/W32-MSVC 1.1.5-b20060315
 MV>>  * Origin: http://www.vlist.eu (2:280/5555)

BTW, could you trim down the quotes a little bit when replying please?


Cheers, Michiel

--- GoldED+/W32-MSVC 1.1.5-b20060315
 * Origin: http://www.vlist.eu (2:280/5555)