Text 1489, 121 rader
Skriven 2005-03-31 08:22:08 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Book
================
 GS> Surely, among the last things Custer was likely to  have thought and
   > said, based on what he saw around him, was, "Look at all them fucking
   > Indians!"

       George Pope was replying with F unny stuff to  GREG SEARS  

 GP> Is this the same book, different chapter, or a new book?

G-day Mate,

It would resemble a NEW book from the old book with a NEW chapter. . . .

This cowboy was out looking for a job one day.  He stopped at a
ranchers house  to ask the rancher for a job.  This rancher looks
over the cowboy and thinks  to himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon
hat, denim shirt, denim pants but  he's wearing tennis shoes.  Guess
I'll see what he can do."

So the rancher tells the cowboy.  "OK, let's see what you can do.  Go
rope  that calf over there and brand it."

The cowboy has the calf branded before the little doggie knows what
hit him.   Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too
sure so he gives him  another test. "Now break that there bronc", he
points to a wild looking  stallion in a corral.

This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest ride you've ever
seen.   After 5 minutes the bronc is so tired he settles down and the
cowboy  hand the  rancher a tame horse.

This rancher is IMPRESSED now.  "OK, son you got the job.  There's
just one  question I gotta ask you.  You rope and ride real well and
you look mostly  like a cowboy except for them tennis shoes.  Why
don't you wear cowboy boots  instead of tennis shoes?"

The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says, "I would wear
cowboy boots  but then people would think I was a damn trucker!"

 GP> I'm confused. . . must be all this American air pollution! :(

 "No matter how confused you may be, your confustion is fully justified,
as can be  proven by simple arithmetic.  Canada has a population of
200 million.  Of  these, 72 million are over 65 years old, leaving
128 million to do the work.  When you subtract the 75 million people
under 21, you get 53 million.  There  are also 24 million employed by
the Federal Government, which leaves 29  million to do the work.  The
12 million in the Armed Forces leave only 17  million to do the work,
and, when you subtract from this the 15,765,000 who  are in province and
city offices and 520,000 in hospitals, mental institutions  and
similar places, the work force is reduced to 715,000. Fine, but-- 462,
000  are bums and vagrants, leaving only 253,000 to do the work.
There are 252,998  people in jail, leaving--you guessed it--just 2
people, you and Fred. And George/YOU are getting confused." '-)

 GP> It's POISON, I tell ya, POISON!!!

P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,
conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic,
spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb,
evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic,
diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive,
dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,
unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous,flagrant, self-destructive, abusive,
socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

I hope this helps...

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

An efficiency expert looks at a symphony orchestra playing an
unfinished  symphony by Schubert:

1. For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to do.
 Their  number should be reduced, and their work spread over the
whole orchestra.

2. Forty violins were playing identical notes.  This seems
unnecessary  duplication, and this section should be drastically cut.
 If a larger volume  of sound is required, this could be achieved
through an electronic amplifier.

3. Much effort was absorbed in the playing of demi/semi-quavers.
This seems  an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all
notes be rounded to  the nearest semi-quaver.  If this were done, it
should be possible to use  trainees and lower-grade operators.

4. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage
that has  already been handled by the strings.  If all such redundant
passages were  eliminated, the concert could be reduced to twenty
minutes.

If Schubert had attended to these matters, he probably would have
been able to  finish his symphony after all.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

Two men are having their hair cut in a barbershop.  When the barber
starts to  sprinkle hair tonic on the CyberPope, he says "Hey! don't
put that stinkadora on  me.  My wife will think I smell like a
whorehouse."  The I C E-man says  calmly, "You can put it on me,
barber.  My wife doesn't know what a whorehouse  smells like."


Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

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