Text 1488, 111 rader
Skriven 2005-03-31 08:08:46 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Book
================
 GS> Have you heard about the Microsoft Windows programmer who died?  He
   > found  himself in front of a committee that decides whether you go to
   > Heaven or Hell.

       George Pope was replying with F unny stuff to  GREG SEARS  

 GP> You titled this post "Book" -- just curious as to what the title of
   > the BOOK is?

G-day Mate,

It was named "Windows for CyberPopes"


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

 One  of those new-fangled jet planes was delivered to a Texas air
base.  The  Commanding Officer examined it gingerly, called on his
most experienced test  pilot to test it.  "Remember, Captain," he
cautioned, "nobody knows how fast  this fool thing can go.  Besides,
all the instruments aren't in it yet.  So  take it easy, boy!"

The captain promised and took the plane aloft.  It was easy for him
to manage  and he couldn't resist letting it out. As he roared
through space,he contacted  the ground and asked, "How fast am I
going?"

Someone responded, in German, "Twelve hundred miles an hour."

The pilot gasped and said, "Are you certain?"

The reply "Of course, we're certain," was in Russian!

The pilot said, "Good Lord!"

A voice nearby answered "Yes, my son?"


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

This is a guide for classifying technicians.  The higher the number,
the less  desireable the technician is:

7   Bill, the village idiot.
    Bill is totally incompetant.  The only reason he is working is
because he is 1) married to the boss's ugliest daughter, 2) the
boss's son or 3) the son of the boss's boss.  You might as well kiss
your computer goodbye once it gets into Bill's hands.

6   Mr. Rent-a-tech.
    Mr. Rent-a-tech is the guy who gets contracted out by a company
to fix computers. Mr. Rent-a-tech is called in when you live outside
of the Manufacturer's rep's service area. Mr. Rent-a-tech is really
Captain Hammer or Pop in diguise.  He's likely never seen a computer
like yours before and doesn't even know how to take it apart.  He'll
usually spend a few days making your computer un-repairable.  With
your luck, the warrantee will run out just before he is done with
your machine.

5   Captain Hammer
    Captain Hammer used to be a mechanic.  Captain Hammer never goes
anywhere without his claw hammer.  He uses his trusty hammer to seat
expansion cards so they will never come out and to pound in those
pesky chips which are trying to unseat themselves.  While clawing out
an expansion card or memory chip, he can sometimes remove the slot or
chip     socket from the motherboard at no extra cost.  He usually
finishes off your computer by yanking it off your desk because he
snagged his coat on one of the new nails protruding from your case.

4   Pop from Mom and Pop's 'puters
    Good old Pop really tries but he really doesn't know a thing
about computers.  He jiggles boards around just to see if they are
loose while the computer is still powered up.  He'll even pull boards
out and reseat them while the machine is running.  Some of the
expansion boards in your computer will end up in the wrong slots - 8
bit cards in 32 or 16 bit slots and 16 and 32 bit cards placed in 8
bit slots.

3   Try everything Fred.
    Try everything Fred tries everything the can think of which is
not related to the problem just in case.  Unfortunately, Fred does
not know how to properly re-connect things.  So expect your hard
drive to be connected to your floppy controller and your floppy drive
connected to your ESDI controller.  He'll even plug things in
backwards just because its easier to plug them in this way.

2   The guy from XT's R Us
    This guy knows only a little bit about computers.  He'll low
level format your hard drive at an 4:1 interleave factor that will
make it slower than a CD-ROM drive.  Basically, he got his training
from a institution which advertises on the backs of matchbooks and in
Popular Mechanics.  Any replacement ram chips he stuffs into your
machine are likely from some old XT.

1   Dr. Fixit.
    Dr. Fixit really knows how to fix computers.  Too bad for you he
is never around when you need him.  Dr. Fixit, never stays long with
the outfit he works at, this is because he usually finds someone who
will pay him better for his talents than his current employer.


Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)