Text 1530, 128 rader
Skriven 2005-04-04 16:40:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Her day in court
========================
On Milky Way, 04-03-05 (15:28) GEORGE POPE replied To: GREG SEARS.......

GP>GS> And that's when I shot the little  bastard!
  >*LOL* FUCK!!! That's funny!

If Men Were in Charge of Weddings.....

There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not..
Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would
   have matching team colors..
June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that
   "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or
   some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of
   the car. Better yet,a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really
   old) would get punched in the head..
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".
There would be "Tailgate Receptions".
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time
   or between innings.
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost
   of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add
   up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or
   the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local
   pub or tavern.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at
   the local lounge.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to
   her ass.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or
   buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that
   the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding
   (what's the difference) or something.

Invitations would read as follow...
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain... He's getting
married.
He either:
A)knocked her up
B)couldn't get a different roommate or
C)caved in to her ultimatum..
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him
For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium
On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game
Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer,
Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B..


>OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

   An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a
younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt
collar.  Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, "Excuse me
sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"

The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered "I wear this
collar because I am a Father".

The Jewish man thought a second and responded, "Sir I am also a Father
but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so
differently?"

The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the father for
many".

The Jewish man quickly answered, "I to am the father of many. I have
four sons, four daughters and too many grandchildren to count. But I
wear my collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear it your way?"

The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted
out "Sir, I am the father for hundreds and hundreds of people."

The Jewish man was taken aback and was silent for a long time. As he got
up to leave the subway train, he leaned over to the priest and said
"Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards."


>OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

16 Ways To Tell If A Redneck Is Working At A Computer...


1) The mouse is referred to as a critter.

2) The keyboard is camouflaged.

3) There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

4) The password is, BUBBA.

5) The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

6) Winders 95 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.

7) Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.

8) The printer goes real slow since Bubba don't read too fast.

9) Extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.

10) Menus all have Budweiser and Old Milwaukee options.

11) The monitor is up on blocks.

12) Seven blue tick hounds under the desk.

13) Deer jerky in the desk drawer.

14) Screen saver is Ned Beatty playing Dueling Banjos.

15) The six front keys have rotted out.

16) John Deere pocket protectors.


 * SLMR 2.1a * Speed-cameras can do IT 365 times without reloading. . .

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)