Text 1567, 121 rader
Skriven 2005-04-07 04:10:16 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: F unny
==================
 GP> On (05 Apr 05) Greg Sears wrote to All...

 GS>    "Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by
   > any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so
   > stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to
   > exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures."
   > In Other Words:
   >    "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Funny

 -=[05-Apr-2005 09:46, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> What do you call it when you accidentally(I hope!) uploaded the same
   > reply packet twice in a row?

  G-day George Pope, hummmmmmmmmm sorry about that. The B.C. connection
  was corrupted by something or other, and would take mail-packets from
  this machine but wouldn't give em back! Fixed now! '-)

> OBjoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

PUNCHLINES
Compiled by Terry  Kelleher

  Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Ross Perot claims the White House has a
team dedicated to making him go away. I think he has a right to be
angry. This is just another example of the federal government stepping
in where private citizens are doing a fine job all by themselves."

Comedian Mike Sullivan-Irwin: "Convicted murderer Byron De La Beckwith
says he should be set free because he didn't get a speedy trial. Like
the one he gave Medgar Evers."

David Letterman, "Late Show With David Letterman": "Whoopi Goldberg has
been selected to be the host of the Academy Awards. Congratulations to
Whoopi, although this does take some of the suspense out of who's going
to win for best makeup this year."

Comedian Billy Hine: "It's incredible the amount of money Nancy Kerrigan
is due to make over getting hit once with a club. I bet Rodney King is
sorry he never took skating lessons."

Leno on President Clinton's decision to lift the trade embargo against
Vietnam: "The Vietnamese are thrilled with the news. Now they can
finally get those Jane Fonda exercise videos."

Comedy writer Jeff Jensen: "The Walt Disney Company plans to renovate
the rundown New Amsterdam Theater on 42nd Street and put on live shows.
To suit the location, some of Snow White's dwarfs will be renamed -
Cracky, Alky and Sleazy."

Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Disney plans to spend $ 30 million on the
renovation - $ 10 million on the theater and $ 20 million for guys to
stand out front going, 'Check it out! Nude mice inside!' "

Comedy writer Vincent Punturieri: "The first live show will be 'Beauty
Does the Beast.' "

Mark Russell, "The Mark Russell Comedy Special": "Gerry Adams was
confined to New York City for 48 hours. The British were hoping he'd use
the subway."

Conan O'Brien, "Late Night With Conan O'Brien": "Originally the attack
on Nancy Kerrigan was planned for New Year's Eve, but they couldn't find
a hit man who was willing to miss the Howard Stern special."

Comedy writer David Brody: "I'm so glad President Clinton is lifting the
trade embargo against Vietnam. Now Americans will be able to import some
of that country's fine products, such as . . . "

Robin Williams on "Comic Relief VI": "The only people happy about the
Menendez [mistrials] are the people at Court TV: 'They loved the pilot!
We've got a pickup!' "

Dennis Miller on Comedy Central's "State of the Union Undressed":
"Russia - what a sad state. That place is about as stable as Crispin
Glover."

Comedy writer Lori Peters on the State of the Union: "Clinton was the
first president to broadcast his speech with a claptrack."

Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show," on Michael Jackson: "If he's going to
spend millions to keep somebody quiet, why couldn't he write a check to
LaToya and help the rest of us out?"

Conan O'Brien, "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," on the Jackson
settlement: "Apparently the kid got $ 10 million and three llamas."

Comedy writer Vincent Punturieri: "Mayor Giuliani says community
policing forces cops to play social worker. It could be worse. They
could be forced to play with Andrew."

Comedian Billy Hine: "If John Wayne Bobbitt goes on 'Love Connection,'
what will they say for his marital status - 'unattached'?"


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise
cattle.  Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.  "Well,"
said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J.  My wife
favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the
Lazy-Y.  So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."

"But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.

"None survived the branding."


     . . . . o o o o o
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  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
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