Text 1614, 80 rader
Skriven 2005-04-08 08:06:20 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av William McBrine
Ärende: F unny
==============
     FART FACTS & FALLACIES

  Q:  Is it true that too much farting can cause blindness or sterility?

  A:  NO!  There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support
this fallacy. It was probably created by parents who were afraid of
their children abusing the fart.

  Q:  Do beans really warrant their reputation as a fart maker?

  A:  YES.  Beans and other pulses (dried edible seeds) contain an
antitryptic factor that interferes with the digestion of proteins.
The undigested protein is worked on by bacteria to produce flatus.
Fried foods also produce a lot of gas because they are so difficult
to digest; a lot is left for the bacteria to work on.

  Q:  Does excitement enhance farting?
  A:  YES.  Anything that speeds food through the digestive system
(as excitement does) will create undigested food material reaching
the colon, creating a feast for bacteria.

  Q:  Is it true that farts are flammable?

  A:  YES.  Any college student can tell you that methane and
hydrogen, if lit, will produce a gem-like flame.

  Q:  Is man at the top of the fart world?

  A:  NO.  Although well up on the scale of farters, man can't
hold a candle to some of nature's farters.  Man produces 400-1200 cc
of flatus per day.  A cow, whose diet is totally plant material,
produces 300,000-600,000 cc of gas per day. But the real gas guzzlers
 ranking number one on the "toot meter", are the elephants, whose
flatulance production runs into the millions of cc's per day.

  Q:  Is garlic a gas producer as well?

  A:  Garlic inhibits the growth of bacteria and therefore REDUCES
the amount of flatus.

  Q:  Is it true that the extinction of the dinosaurs can be
attributed to the fart?

  A:  VERY POSSIBLE.  The extinction of the dinosaur and the rise
of the mammal coincide at about 70 million years ago has led
scientists to the "furry fart theory." With the mammals
came the first true farts.  The addition of extra methane and
hydrogen sulfide to the air polluted the dinosaur's system and
eventually came to interrupt the shell-forming glands of these
reptiles.  The soft eggs easily broke when jostled. With fewer eggs
surviving, fewer and fewer dinosaurs survived until none were left.

  Q:  Is Gustav Andre Stool, the famous farting ventriloquist,
still alive?

  A:  YES.  Now 83, the famous nightclub entertainer of the late
1940's, Stool presently resides in Miami Beach.  During the late 40's
and early 50's he amazed audiences around the country with his
ability to throw a fart across the stage and into the audience.  By
the middle 50's his act ran out of steam.  No longer in demand, he
withdrew into seclusion.  Surfacing again in the late 60's, full of
bitterness, he secretly toured the country embarrassing dignitaries
and show business types by throwing his farts at inopportune times.
His final"performance" came at the second inauguration of Richard
Nixon. Standing in the audience, some 100 feet from the stand, Stool
threw  his fart right at Nixon right in the middle of the swearing in
  At that moment the Chief Justice turned to a colleague and was
heard to whisper, "An ominous air hovers over this administration."

         ._ _.
 Cheers /(. .)\    )
  from    (*)____/Ý
  I       /       Ý
  C      /   Ý--\ Ý
  E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA

... I C E-man.. I'm a mere dabbler compared to some of the wizards in here.

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