Text 1837, 73 rader
Skriven 2005-04-25 13:45:16 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: Re: Ha ha
=================
G-day ceri@twmba.net,

There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s.   For the
sake of this story, we'll call him Goovoo. After years of being taken
for  granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the  UNIX
programmers  and Client/Server programmers  and  website  developers,
Goovoo  was finally getting some  respect.   He'd  become  a  private
consultant  specialising in Year 2000 conversions.   He  was  working
short-term  assignments for prestige companies,  travelling all  over
the world on different assignments. He was working 70 and 80 and even
90 hour weeks, but it was worth it.

Several  years of this relentless,  mind-numbing work had  taken  its
toll  on Goovoo.   He had problems sleeping and began having  anxiety
dreams  about the Year 2000.   It had reached a point where even  the
thought  of the year 2000 made him  nearly  violent.   He  must  have
suffered some sort of breakdown, because all he could think about was
how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.

Goovoo  decided to contact a company that specialised in  cryogenics.
He  made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th,  2000.  This
was a very expensive process and totally automated.  He was thrilled.
The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000;  after
the New Year celebrations and computer debacles;  after the leap day.
Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.

He  was put into his cryogenic receptacle,  the technicians  set  the
revive date,  he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare
minimum, and that was that.

The  next thing that Goovoo saw was an enormous and very modern  room
filled with excited people.   They were all shouting "I can't believe
it!"  and "It's a miracle" and "He's  alive!".   There  were  cameras
(unlike  any he'd ever seen)  and equipment that looked like it  came
out of a science fiction movie.

Someone  who was obviously  a  spokesperson  for  the  group  stepped
forward.   Goovoo couldn't contain his enthusiasm.   "It is over?" he
asked.   "Is 2000 already here? Are all the  millennial  parties  and
promotions and crises all over and done with?"

The spokesman explained that 2000 had gone, but that there had been a
problem  with the programming of  the  timer  on  Goovoo's  cryogenic
receptacle - it hadn't been year 2000 compliant, and it was now March
15th  of 2099,  not 2000.   But the spokesman  told  Goovoo  that  he
shouldn't get excited as someone important wanted to speak to him.

Suddenly a wall-sized projection screen displayed the image of a  man
that looked very much like Bill Gates. This man was Prime Minister of
Earth. He told Goovoo not to be upset. That this was a wonderful time
to be alive.  That there was world peace and no more starvation. That
the space programm had been reinstated and there were colonies on the
moon and on Mars.  That technology had advanced to such a degree that
everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact
anyone else on the planet,  or to watch any entertainment, or to hear
any music recorded anywhere.

"That  sounds terrific," said Goovoo.   "But  I'm  curious.   Why  is
everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the Prime Minister. "2100 is just around the corner, and
it says in your files that you know COBOL".

Salutations from --Christchurch-+
  ICE-man in      /\            |          \ | /   Mountains, Sunshine
 New Zealand     /  \/\         |  /\      - O -   Forestry, Farming
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^/      \!!ii,,..@-/==\---^-^-^-^-^ Beaches and Surfing


... Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.

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