Text 1862, 135 rader
Skriven 2005-04-30 06:34:58 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: F unny treatment
========================
  G-day George Pope,

A man went into a bar after work one day, and after a beer or two,
he noticed a man passed out in the corner.  After an hour or so, the
fellow was still very drunk and incoherent, so, being a nice guy, the
first man decided to take him home.  He looked up the drunk's name and
address in his wallet, then started struggling to get the man out to his
car.  Dragging, heaving, and finally carrying the man, he finally
reached his car; then the process had to be repeated in front of the
drunk's house.  At last, the nice guy got the man up to the door of the
house and rang the bell, which was promptly opened by a pleasant-looking
woman.

"Oh. thank you so much for bringing him home," she said,  "But,
where's his wheelchair?"

Then ---------------------------------------

   The young man had invited his parents to meet his fiancee over
cocktails at the Plaza Hotel in New York. After his family had departed,
the girl wanted to know what kind of impression she'd made.

   "I'm sorry to tell you this, dear," the young man said.  "But while
you were in the ladies' room, my mother told me that she considered you
rather uncouth."

   "Did you tell them I graduated from finishing school and from
Bennington?"

   "Yes."

   "Did you tell them my family enjoys the highest social standing
in Southampton?"

   "I certainly did, dear."

   "Then what the Fuck is all this uncouth shit about?" the girl
demanded to know.

Then ---------------------------------------

  An inexperienced young Polish man, prior to his wedding, asked
his father what he should do to his wife on their wedding night.

  "Well," said the Polish father, not knowing really how to say it
delicately, "you take the thing you used to play with more than anything
else when you were a teenager and put it where your wife wee-wees."

  "Really, dad?" the young Polack said.

  "Believe me, son," his father responded, "you'll love it."

  So on his wedding night, the young man took his baseball and threw
it in the toilet.

Then ---------------------------------------

  Two guys were talking at a bar about what they did for a living.
One said, "I got this job in a circus where I have to clean up the
elephant.  You know, hose him down three times a day, clean up his shit
all day long, etc. The smell of that shit--phew! Its so bad, it really
gets me down sometimes."

  His companion said, "Well, if you can't stand the smell and the rest
of the work, why don't you quit?"

  "What?" said the outraged first man.  "And leave show business?"

Then ---------------------------------------

"Have you ever thought of getting married?" Harry asked his friend Tom.
"Yeah.  A couple of times," Tom replied.
"Well, what happened?"
"The rabbits got better!"

Then ---------------------------------------

  Two Polish women were talking about their sex lives.  One woman
turns to the other and says, "Do you and your husband have mutual
orgasms?"

  "No," answers her friend.  "We have State Farm."

Then ---------------------------------------

There is a young woman who, instead of disposing her tampons
normally, throws them into her closet. One day, she is
entertaining her lover when she hears the front door open.  She
quickly hides him in the closet and locks the door.  It's her
husband surprising her with two tickets for a weekend in Hawaii.
On Monday, she waits till her husband has gone off to work and
finally opens the closet door, expecting the worse.  But he is in
fine shape and says cheerfully, "Hell, if it weren't for all those
jelly doughnuts you had in there, I never would have made it!"

Then ---------------------------------------

In a recent survey on why some men are homosexual, 82 percent
of the men surveyed responded that either genetics or home
environment was the principal factor.  The remaining 18 percent of
those that responded revealed that they had been sucked into it.

Then ---------------------------------------

Two business partners, both married, were taking turns having
intercourse with their attractive secretary.  As a
result of such frequent sex, the young lady became pregnant.
One partner, congratulating the other said, "Ruthie had twins.

  Unfortunately, mine died!"

Then ---------------------------------------

A Mexican dog, an American dog, a Polish dog and Russian dog all
got together for a chat one day.  The Mexican dog started
complaining:  "Since this economic recession, things have been
really terrible for me.  I used to have a servant bring me meat at
set hours.  Now I have to bark until the meat comes!"  The
American dog said, "You still have servants in Mexico?"  The
Polish dog asked, "What is meat?"  The Russian dog, astounded,
said, "They allow you to bark?"



     . . . . o o o o o
           _____      0
  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

... I C E-man.. I'm a mere dabbler compared to some of the wizards in here.

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