Text 1863, 163 rader
Skriven 2005-04-30 06:36:56 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Driver's Test
=====================
  G-day George Pope,

                        "The Day Bell System Died"
              Lyrics Copyright (C) 1983 by Lauren Weinstein
                     (To the tune of "American Pie")
                      (With apologies to Don McLean)
           property of TELECOM Digest and the Telecom Archives

Long, long, time ago,
I can still remember,
When the local calls were "free".
And I knew if I paid my bill,
And never wished them any ill,
That the phone company would let me be...

But Uncle Sam said he knew better,
Split 'em up, for all and ever!
We'll foster competition:
It's good capital-ism!

I can't remember if I cried,
When my phone bill first tripled in size.
But something touched me deep inside,
The day... Bell System... died.

And we were singing...

Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die?
We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI,
"Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry.
Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die?
Ma Bell why did you have to die?

Is your office Step by Step,
Or have you gotten some Crossbar yet?
Everybody used to ask...
Oh, is TSPS coming soon?
IDDD will be a boon!
And, I hope to get a Touch-Tone phone, real soon...

The color phones are really neat,
And direct dialing can't be beat!
My area code is "low":
The prestige way to go!

Oh, they just raised phone booths to a dime!
Well, I suppose it's about time.
I remember how the payphones chimed,
The day... Bell System... died.

And we were singing...

Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die?
We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI,
"Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry.
Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die?
Ma Bell why did you have to die?

Back then we were all at one rate,
Phone installs didn't cause debate,
About who'd put which wire where...
Installers came right out to you,
No "phone stores" with their ballyhoo,
And 411 was free, seemed very fair!

But FCC wanted it seems,
To let others skim long-distance creams,
No matter 'bout the locals,
They're mostly all just yokels!

And so one day it came to pass,
That the great Bell System did collapse,
In rubble now, we all do mass,
The day... Bell System... died.

So bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die?
We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI,
"Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry.
Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die?
Ma Bell why did you have to die?

I drove on out to Murray Hill,
To see Bell Labs, some time to kill,
But the sign there said the Labs were gone.
I went back to my old CO,
Where I'd had my phone lines, years ago,
But it was empty, dark, and ever so forlorn...

No relays pulsed,
No data crooned,
No MF tones did play their tunes,
There wasn't a word spoken,
All carrier paths were broken...

And so that's how it all occurred,
Microwave horns just nests for birds,
Everything became so absurd,
The day... Bell System... died.

So bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die?
We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI,
"Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry.
Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die?
Ma Bell why did you have to die?

We were singing:

Bye, bye, Ma Bell, why did you die?
We get static from Sprint and echo from MCI,
"Our local calls have us in hock!" we all cry.
Oh Ma Bell why did you have to die?

---------------------------------------

 !---!
 ! * ! PACIFIC BELL                     CURRENT BILLING:  July 1994
 !---!


  BASIC SERVICE...................................................123.35
________________________________________________________________________

ACCESS TO INTERSTATE LONG DISTANCE ...............................22.95
ACCESS TO INTRASTATE LONG DISTANCE ...............................20.95
ACCESS TO ANY PHONE MORE THAN 3 BLOCKS AWAY ......................19.28
ACCESS TO YOUR DIAL TONE .........................................13.66
________________________________________________________________________
              !
  DO YOU OWN  !   NO:  MONTHLY EQUIPMENT RENTAL ...................36.25
  YOUR PHONE? ! x YES: COMPENSATION FOR INCOME LOST
              !        TO PEOPLE OWNING THEIR PHONE ...............36.25
______________!_________________________________________________________

TELEPHONE BOOK SURCHARGE @ .002 PER NAME IN THE BOOK .............21.37
LISTING YOUR OWN NAME IN THE PHONE BOOK ...........................5.20
LISTING YOUR OWN NAME IN THE PHONE BOOK CORRECTLY ................10.40
PHONE CORD FEE @ $1/FOOT .........................................14.00
FEE FOR THE DIGITS ON THE TELEPHONE ($1 FOR #1, $2 FOR #2, ETC) ..45.00
________________________________________________________________________

DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE @ $9/EA + $7/EA FOR DISTURBING THE OPERATORS 32.00
SURCHARGE FOR THE RINGING OF YOUR PHONE ON EACH CALL @ 20c/RING ..23.60
SURCHARGE TO DEFRAY COSTS OF APPLYING TO THE PUC FOR RATE HIKES ..14.88
OOPS! ALMOST FORGOT/CHARGES FOR THE PHONE CALLS THEMSELVES ......242.96
________________________________________________________________________

                                          TOTAL CHARGES DUE .....653.13
________________________________________________________________________

THANK YOU FOR DOING BUSINESS WITH US...BUT THEN WHAT CHOICE DO YOU HAVE?


     . . . . o o o o o
           _____      0
  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

... I C E-man.. I'm a mere dabbler compared to some of the wizards in here.

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