Text 1949, 224 rader
Skriven 2005-05-03 08:03:04 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bone
============
. o _ From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_) --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III Page: 20
Interesting Trivia
Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.
If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but
more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the
bottom.
The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.
._q0p_.
'=(_)=' If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean,
/ V \ the horizon will be about three statute miles away.
jgs (_/^\_)
The longest word in the English language, according to
the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovol-
canoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is
its plural, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses.
Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the
largest anagrams.
/| ,
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de ,/// /|
Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de // // ,///
Porciuncula." // // // //
// // || ||
Only one person in two billion will live || || // //
to be 116 or older. || || // //
|| || // //
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. || || || ||
\\,\|,|\_//
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was \\)\)\\|/
allergic to carrots. )-."" .-(
//^\` `/^\\
The band Duran Duran got their name from an // | | \\
astronaut in the 1968 Jane Fonda movie ,/_| 0| _ | 0|_\,
"Barbarella. /` `"=.v.="` `\
/` _."{_,_}"._ `\
Cleo and Caesar were the early stage jgs `/` ` \ ||| / ` `\`
names of Cher and Sonny Bono. `",_ \\=^~^=// _,"`
"=,\'-=-'/,="
Ben and Jerry's sends the waste from making '---'
ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed.
Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
@ & d The company providing the
.-"""-. .-"""-. .-"""-. liability insurance for the
/ |\_/| \ / |\_/| \ / |\_/| \ Republican National Convention
| /e e\ | | /a a\ | | /6 6\ | in San Diego is the same firm
| ( (") ) | | ( (") ) | | ( (") ) | that insured the maiden voyage
\ `"^"` / \ `"^"` / \ `"^"` / of the RMS Titanic.
jgs | |-| | | |-| | | |-| |
W W W W W W Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the
physician who set the leg of
Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth...and whose shame created the ex-
pression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd."
Al Capone's business card said _.-~"~-.
he was a used furniture dealer. ;`a) ) `\
\-./_ / |~=-=--.
The longest recorded flight of `-._)_ | / ".
a chicken is thirteen seconds. _ //` `| `"~` \
\'-'/ .--' / / |\
The very first bomb dropped by `~` / ____/\ | / `"
the Allies on Berlin during __/__/ | |`-...-\ |
World War II killed the only / \ | | |`\ |
elephant in the Berlin Zoo. |_____| /__| /__/__| jgs
Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's
Maiden name was Betty Jean McBricker.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
_.-. If NASA sent birds into space they
.-. `) | .-. would soon die, they need gravity to
_.'`. .~./ \.~. .`'._ swallow.
.-'`.'-'.'.-: ;-.'.'-'.`'-.
`'`'`'`'` \ / `'`'`'`'` Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long
/||\ as both parties are
jgs / ^^ \ registered blood \WWW/
`'``'` donors. / \
/wwwww\
The characters Bert and Ernie on _| o_o |_
Sesame Street were named after Bert \WWWWWWW/ (_ / \ _)
the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in _/` o_o `\_ | \_/ |
Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life." (_ (_) _) : ~~~~~ :
_ _ \ '-...-' / \_____/
(o)-(o) (`'-----'`) [ ]
.-( " )-. jgs `"""""""` `"""""`
/ /`'-=-'`\ \
jgs __\ _\ \___/ /_ /__ It was discovered on a space mission that
/| /|\ /|\ |\ a frog can throw up. The frog throws up
its stomach first, so the stomach is dang-
ling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all
of the stomach's contents and then swal-
lows the stomach back down again. |\ //
\\ _!_
Armored knights raised their visors to \\ /___\
identify themselves when they rode past \\ [+++]
their king. This custom has become the \\ _ _\^^^/_ _
modern military salute. \\/ ( '-' ( )
/( \/ | {&} /\ \
Sylvia Miles had the shortest perform- \ / \ / _> )
ance ever nominated for an Oscar with "` >:::;-'`""'-.
"Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role /:::/ \
lasted only six minutes. / /|| {&} |
( / (\ /
In England, the Speaker of the House / / \'-.___.-'
is not allowed to speak. jgs _/ / \ \
/___| /___|
Playing cards were issued to British
pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded
to reveal a map for escape.
__/\__ Charles Lindbergh took only four sand-
`==/\==` wiches with him on his famous trans-
____________/__\____________ atlantic flight.
/____________________________\
__||__||__/.--.\__||__||__ Goethe couldn't stand the sound of
/__|___|___( >< )___|___|__\ barking dogs and could only write if
_/`--`\_ he had an apple rotting in the drawer
jgs (/------\) of his desk.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in
the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that
(\(\_ was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show.
_.o o`\\\\ His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name
("_ )))) on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was men-
'---' (((( ___ tioned once in the first episode on
) )))___.-""-./=;\\ their radio's newscast about the wreck.
/ ((( \ ))))
; ||// Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake.
_\ | |(( They had been overmixing the soap form-
/ _____/__.-'\ / ) ula causing excess air bubbles that made
/ / \ / \ `\ | it float. Customers wrote and told how
\\_ |; \ (\ ( much they loved that it floated, and it
\_] || || || has floated ever since.
|| || ||
jgs /_< /_</_< Studies show that if a cat falls off the
seventh floor of a building it has about
thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the
twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to
realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. (This correction
results in a falling position which maximizes the force coefficient of
air resistance, and thus decreasing the cat's velocity.)
_ /\_/\
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus ( \ / ``\
every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. ) ) __| n n|
/ / /` `'.= Y)=
The "L.L." in L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood. ( ( / `"`}
\ \| \ }
A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to \ \ ), //
be talking in the background -- when they say '._, /'-\ ( (
"walla-walla" it looks like they are actually jgs \,,)) \,),)
talking.
The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more
(___) cows."
(o o)_____/
@@ ` \ The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old
\ ____, / English law which stated that you couldn't beat your
jgs // // wife with anything wider than your thumb.
^^ ^^
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon
features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout
the movie.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left
hand.
The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's
baby daughter, Ruth.
Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same
sex.
_.---._ .---. To escape the grip of a crocodile's
__...---' .---. `---'-. `. jaws, push your thumbs into its
.-''__.--' _.'( | )`. `. `._ : eyeballs-- it will let you go
.'__-'_ .--'' ._`---'_.-. `. `-`. instantly.
~ -._ -._``---. -. `-._ `.
~ -.._ _ _ _ ..-_ `. `-._``--.._
-~ -._ `-. -. `-._``--.._.--''.
~ ~-.__ -._ `-.__ `. `.
Reindeer like to eat bananas. jgs ~~ ~---...__ _ ._ .` `.
~ ~--.....--~`
\ /
_\/ \/_ Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic
_\-'"'-/_ particles known as quarks for a random line in
(_, ,_) James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"
| ^ ^ |
| | Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming
| | 1/10 of a calorie.
| Y |
`._|_.' The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact
that early mattresses were filled with straw and
held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a
comfortable sleep.
.-"''-. _
.' `( \
@/ ') ,--,__,-"
/ / \ / / _/
__| , |/ /
.~ `\ / \ , | /
.~ `\ ` / _/ _/
.~ `\ ~~`__/ /
~ `--'/
/ / /
/ /' /jgs
_ _
(_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
(_.===============================================._)
--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
* Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)
|