Text 1982, 116 rader
Skriven 2005-05-07 07:14:46 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Book
================
 GP> On (03 May 05) Greg Sears wrote to All...

 GS> Later when his father opened his gifts, he was surprised to
   > read aloud, "Happy birthday to a wonderful Dad. Now that I'm
   > a father too . . ."

Funny

 -=[06-May-2005 08:45, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> But then the father thought to himself,"At least the little fucker
   > ain't a fag!"

  G-day George Pope, CHIEF COMPLAINT:  Foreign body in rectum.

HPI:  This is a 32-year-old male who has a history of undergoing
a sexual experience this evening involving a vibrator.  The
patient apparently lost control of the vibrator and it is now
present in the patient's rectum, beyond retrieval by himself or
his partner. The patient presented to the emergency room,
obviously quite embarrassed, and sought evaluation.  A KUB had
been done prior to examination, which demonstrated no evidence of
obstruction.  There is no evidence of any free air, and the
intact foreign body was found in the rectum.  Following this,
examination by myself was undertaken.  I palpated up into the
rectum, which was fairly well dilated, and I could feel the end
of the vibrator.  The batteries were still functional, as the
vibrator was still vibrating.  I was able to grasp the object
between my first and long fingers and attempt to pull back on the
object, delivered it back nearly to the anus.  The vibrator
appears to be caught or impacted in the distal bowel, not
allowing retrieval.  This is quite painful to the patient,
therefore, it was felt that the patient will require general
anesthesia for removal.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

(this comes from Nancy Carol Morgan  11, November, 2000)

"I wrote to my son, who was in basic training at Fort McClellan in
Alabama, to tell him that I had remarried. Not wanting to give away the
surprise by using my new name on the envelope, I wrote `Your Mother' in
place of my return address.

  "A few days later at mail call, my son eagerly stepped forward when is
name was called. But to his surprise, the sergeant barked, `DROP,
PRIVATE, AND GIVE ME 100 PUSH-UPS!!!' Puzzled, my son dropped to the
ground and complied. Afterward, the sergeant handed him my letter.
Pointing to the return address, he said, `If you wrote more often to
your mother, she wouldn't have to remind you who she is!' "

SIR-YES-SIR!


> OBJokes: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  Fred Moyer complained constantly of indigestion.  His wife
finally talked him into seeing their physician.  Fred was told to drink
a cup of hot water every morning.  Upon hearing this, Fred exploded,
"I've been doing that for thirty-five years.  Only my wife Wilma calls
it coffee!"

Then ---------------------------------------

  Most people will frankly admit that they felt great nervousness
before making a speech.   A well-known British bishop once told his
audience, "I feel rather like a swan."

  The audience laughed, but was a bit puzzled.

  The bishop continued, "I look all calm and serene on the
surface, but I'm paddling like the dickens underneath."

Then ---------------------------------------

 The middle-aged spinster returned to her apartment with a supply
 of birth-control pills she'd just purchased at the local pharmacy.
 "I don't understand it," said her perplexed roommate. "In the past
 three weeks, you've purchased enough birth-control pills to last a
 year, plus vaginal foam, flavored douches and a diaphragm....and I
 didn't even know you had a boyfriend. Who are you trying to seduce?"

"I should think you could guess," came the reply.

"The druggist."

Then ---------------------------------------

Two nuns ran out of gas on the highway and flagged down a truck
to obtain some. The truck driver was more than willing to oblige
them but said that he didn't have a receptacle to use for the
transfer. "That's all right," said one of the nuns. "We do. Sister
and I are returning from a nursing assignment and there's a bedpan
in our car."

So the truck driver siphoned out some gasoline and went on his way
and the nuns embarked on the task of pouring it slowly and carefully
into the tank of their car to avoid spilling any of the precious
liquid.

A passing motorist slowed down to see what the women were doing.
"Christ!" he exclaimed to his companion. "That's what I call FAITH!"



         ,-.___,-.
 Cheers  \_/_ _\_/
  from     )O_O(
   the    { (_) }
 I C E-man `-^-' DILLIGAFF

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