Text 2055, 334 rader
Skriven 2005-05-31 07:23:08 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: BBWs are fun!         2/2
=====================================
 GP> On (28 May 05) Greg Sears wrote to GEORGE POPE...

 GS> - Spam is made of leftover pig parts that nobody wants, such as
   > lips, heart caps, spleen, etc.
   > FALSE. (Spam is actually made of pork shoulder with ham, salt,
   > water, sugar, and a preservative called sodium nitrite.)

Funny

 -=[30-May-2005 08:55, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> FALSE.
   > It's CALLED by what it's made of:
   > S)quirrel
   > P)ossum
   > A)nd
   > M)oles

 GP> Spam was invented to curb the critter pest problem in Virgina during
   > the Civil War:

  G-day George Pope, sure maybe in u.s.a._canuck!

B U T ......SPAM IN CYBERSPACE

Unwanted, pointless and repetitive advertising and e-mail on the
Internet is referred to as "Spam" Sending such dreck is known as
"spamming." The term is thought to have been inspired by the
Monty Python "Spam" sketch.

==========================================
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| 88b   "  888  d88 dPY8b    88Y8b,8888  |
| `"Y8888a 888ad8P'dPaaY8b   88 Y88P888  |
| a,   Y88 888    dP    Y8b  88  YP 888  |
| `"8ad8P'a888a  a88a;*a888aa88a   a888a |
|                ;*;;;;*;;;*;;;*,,       |
|        _,---'':::';*;;;*;;;*;;*d;,     |
|     .-'      ::::::::::';*;;*;dII;     |
|   .' ,<<<,.  :::::::::::::::ffffff`.   |
|  / ,<<<<<<<<,::::::::::::::::fffffI,\  |
| .,<<<<<<<<<<I;:::::::::::::::ffffKIP", |
| |<<<<<<<<<<dP;,?>;,::::::::::fffKKIP | |
| ``<<<<<<<dP;;;;;\>>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' |
|  \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` /  |
|   `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>,  ,'   |
|     `-._``":;;;sP'`"?>>>>>=========.   |
|         `---..._______...|<[Hormel |   |
|                          `========='   |
==========================================

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) - For all of the encyclopedic tomes ever
written on critical issues confronting mankind, never before has
there been an in-depth examination of that pillar of American
culture, luncheon meat. Until now.

Author, philosopher and woman-about-town Carolyn Wyman has
produced the definitive treatise on the subject, "SPAM: A
Biography." Wyman says the tribute to the pink, gelatinous
brick-in-a-can is long overdue. "This is a work of serious Spam
scholarship," said Wyman, a graduate of Brown University. "By my
nature, my training, my education, I'm into looking at every
aspect. I examine Spam in a very comprehensive way, and I think I
really have a handle on my subject matter." Wyman, a nationally
syndicated food columnist, is considered by many to be the
world's foremost authority on convenience foods such as Spam,
Twinkies and Jell-O.

Her previous works include, "I'm a Spam Fan," which is a history
of more than 100 brand-name supermarket food products, and "The
Kitchen Sink Cookbook: Offbeat Recipes From Unusual Ingredients."

Her latest volume, published by Harcourt Brace & Co., delves into
the very essence of Spam - its history, its socioeconomic
implications, how it earned a place in the Smithsonian
Institution, its cult following on the Internet, its place in
poetry and prose and the rise of a Spam religion. And yes, she
also includes recipes for gourmet fare. There's Spam, baked bean
and pineapple casserole, a Spam cheesecake and that perennial
party favorite, pig newtons.

Wyman, something of a purist, takes her Spam straight-up, fresh
out of the can. As that pungent Spam odor wafts through the air,
she waxes poetic about that taste of
something-like-ham-but-not-quite.

"The taste is incredibly distinct. It's salty. It's hammy. It's
soft. It's mushy, sort of, like butter," she said, licking her
lips. "It tastes even better fried," she enthuses.

Incidentally, Wyman's work is an unauthorized biography of Spam.
Although Hormel gave Wyman access to its archives, the company
says it is in no way associated with Wyman or her book.

Still, Hormel spokesman Allan Krejci affectionately described
this homage to the luncheon loaf as "an all-encompassing
historical review." The company estimates that 120 million cans
are sold worldwide each year.

Wyman, 43, majored in English at Brown. She grew up in
Cumberland, R.I., and became a fan of good writing - and Spam -
through the influence of her father, James Wyman, the retired
executive editor of the Providence Journal-Bulletin.

"He brought reporters home, and they seemed like they had an
exciting life," she said.

"SPAM: A Biography" came out in July with an initial press run
of 50,000 books. "I'm a Spam Fan" sold out its first and second
press runs. But there were mixed results with "The Kitchen Sink
Cookbook."

Wyman contends that Spam is the quintessential American processed
food, endearing because it is so far from its original state that
it no longer resembles anything found in nature.

"Americans have tamed our foods just as surely as we've tamed the
West," she said.

Within the text, she seeks to dispel various Spam myths,
including the prevailing wisdom that it's made of pig snouts,
lips, ears and tongue. In fact, the ingredients are rather basic:
pork shoulder with ham, salt, water, sugar and a preservative
called sodium nitrite.

The name "Spam" was derived from a combination of words, Wyman
says. Citing sources she does not identify, Wyman says the name
comes from the words "spiced ham."

However, another theory points to the words "shoulder of pork and
ham." Webster's Dictionary describes Spam as "seasoned pork and
ham" but gives no opinion about the derivation of the word.

Spam's nutritional attributes are questionable. Each 2-ounce
serving has 170 calories and 16 grams of fat - six of them
saturated. But Spam also boasts 7 grams of protein and 2 percent
of the daily recommended supply of iron.

Wyman concedes that the power of Spam's preservative has been a
topic of controversy. The oldest can of Spam known to have been
safely consumed was 25 years old.

"There is no need for an expiration date. Its shelf life is
practically indefinite," Wyman said. She notes that there has
never been a government recall of Spam and that no major illness
or disease has ever been blamed on it.

Although Spam was first created by Jay C. Hormel in 1937, it did
not reach prominence until World War II, when it became a staple
of wartime rations both on the home front and in the trenches.

America's wartime heroes - for some of whom Spam would be their
final meal - quickly developed a love-hate relationship with the
product. It was variously described as "Ham that didn't pass its
physical," "Meat loaf without basic training," and "The reason
war is hell."

Nevertheless, to this day, Spam occupies a special place in
kitchen cupboards across the country. Wyman, who has been eating
Spam regularly since childhood, explains that many simply can't
part with it.

"People get close to weeping, reminiscing about Spam and how they
had it when they were a kid," she said. "It recalls a simpler
time."

But she thinks the final chapter on Spam has yet to be written.
As the century ends, many people fearing a millennial meltdown
are stocking up, she said.

"It's a great product for the millennium. I seriously expect a
big spike in Spam sales because it's a perfect food for the
bunker," she said.


Recipes

Over the years, a variety of exotic recipes has elevated Spam to
haute cuisine. Some recipes for the adventurous gourmet found in
"SPAM: A Biography":

SPAM 'SCARGOT

Ingredients
1 (12-ounce) can Spam; 1/2-pound butter, softened;
2 tablespoons chopped shallots; 2 tablespoons chopped green
onions; 1 teaspoon garlic salt; 5-6 tablespoons chopped
parsley; 12 super-clean escargot shells; 1/2 cup bread
crumbs.

Directions

Cut Spam into cubes or shape into balls and lightly brown in a
bit of butter. Cream together softened butter, shallots, green
onions, garlic salt and parsley. Place shells in an escargot pan.
Put some of the butter and shallot mixture in the shells. Put a
Spam cube or ball in each shell. Top with remaining butter
mixture and bread crumbs. Bake at 450 degrees until butter
sizzles, about 10 to 20 minutes. Yields 12 appetizers.

SPAM CHEESECAKE

Ingredients
Crust - 3/8 cup seasoned bread crumbs; 1/4 cup ground toasted
almonds or pine nuts; 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg; 1/4 cup melted
butter.

Filling - 2 (8-ounce) containers garden-vegetable-flavored cream
cheese; 3 eggs; 1/2 cup crumbled tomato-basil-flavored feta
cheese; 1/2 cup blue cheese; 1/4 cup chopped black olives; 1
tablespoon all-purpose flour; 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning; 1
tablespoon brandy or 1/2 teaspoon brandy extract; 1 (12-ounce)
can Spam, grated.

Topping - 1 cup sour cream; 2 teaspoons sugar; 1 (10-ounce) jar
Patak's Major Grey chutney, pureed; 1/3 cup toasted slivered
almonds or pine nuts.

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In small bowl, combine all crust
ingredients. Gently press into bottom of 10-inch springform pan
or pie plate. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. Set aside to cool. Reduce
oven temperature to 300 degrees. In large bowl, beat cream cheese
until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well
after each addition. Stir in next six filling ingredients. Gently
fold in Spam. Pour into prepared crust and bake 50 to 60 minutes
or until center is almost set.

In small bowl combine sour cream and sugar. Spread over
cheesecake and bake 10 more minutes. Cool to room temperature.
Refrigerate several hours or overnight. Spread chutney over
cheesecake and sprinkle toasted nuts around outside edge.
Serves 24.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  Date: 17 Aug 99  13:00:42
  From: Jesse James

                                                  The Manager.
                                                  North-South Scaffold.
                                                  34 Know Street,
                                                  CLOVELLY. NSW. 2034.

Dear Mr Manager Generalissimo,

I, Luigi Guiseppi Santiago, comma froma Italiano and gotta de job ina
your kind firm on a bigga building downa town.

When I getta to the job yesterday, the boss he say I gotta bringa the
pipes downa from the fifhta floor.  So I getta some rope and a beam and
a pulley and a bigga wooden barrel and maka da hoist and hoista the
barrel upa to the fiftha floor.  Then I tiea the rope down at the ground
floor.  When I filla the barrel witha the pipes, I comma down and untia
the rope.

The barrel she's a more heavy than me and as she a comma down, I go up.
But, Sir, I'a no letta go of the rope!  Halfa way up I meeta the barrel,
she's gotta sharp bit onna side and it rippa my trousers and catcha onna
end of my cock.

When I reacha the fiftha floor, I banga my head onna the beam and broka
four fingers and I have a sixty foot cock.  But Boss, I still notta
letta go of the rope!

When the barrel she hitta the ground, the arsa he fella out of her and
all the pipes they fella ona the ground.  Then I getta heavier thana the
barrel and she start to comma down.

Halfa way down, I meeta the barrel again, she hitta me and skinna my
shin, breaka my kneecap and the sharpa bit she cut offa my left nut.  I
keepa going down till I hitta the pipes.  I getta the cuts all over,
slippa the disc inna my back and breaka my leg.

Mr Sir Boss, THEN I letta go of the rope.  The barrel she comma down
again.  She hitta me and breaka five of my ribs, knocks out alla my
teeth and breaka by jaw.

Now Mr Boss, this is my problem, my wife she gonna leave me because she
donta wanna husband with one nut, no teeth and sixty foot cock, lika
pieca string.

The foreman, he calls me a 'stupid dago bastard' (Thisa not true, I
naturalised stupid Australian bastard!)

Dr Zerritzitio he say I mighta hava to go to hospital.

Mr Boss, what I wanna know isa, how much I gotta pay for the barrel I
breaka?

Youra faithful servant,


Luigi Guiseppi SANTIAGO.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  Date: 17 Aug 99  14:53:11
  From: Jesse James

"Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on
this trip. Not even the wetting of the tips of your penises. All of you
males, take off your dicks and hand them to my sons. I will sit over
there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your dicks
back."

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very
excited. "Quick!" he said "Get on my shoulders and look out the window
to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his
shoulders and looked out the window. "Sorry, no land yet." "Shit!" and
out went Mr. Rabbit.  This went on every day until Mrs.Rabbit got fed up
with him.

"What is the matter with you?  You know it will rain for forty days and
nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land.
Why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!" said Mr. Rabbit with a sinister look on his face as he held out
a piece of paper. "I GOT THE DONKEY'S RECEIPT!!"


Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?

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 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)