Text 2056, 431 rader
Skriven 2005-05-31 07:45:02 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Good stories
========================
GP> On (27 May 05) Sean Dennis wrote to George Pope...
SD> GP> A priceless line to use on the asshole who fucked your girlfriend
> GP> or wife behind your back: "Hey, dude, how'd I taste?"
> I've actually used that line before...
Funny
-=[29-May-2005 20:55, George Pope replied IN a message to Sean Dennis]=-
GP> I've never had to -- I guess I look Sicilian enough that my
> girlfriends never get too tempted by any other! heh heh
G-day George Pope, the sillycilain better known as the following.....
Bimbo Male
Bimboette Female
Bimbino Young Bimbo
BimJAP Jewish Bimboette
Bimini Island of Bimbos
Bimini-skirt Native dress of Bimboettes
Biminister Holy Bimbo
Bimgouster Bimbo with baggy pants
Bimgeezer Dirty old Bimbo
Bimbozo Bimbo with red hair
Bimball One on one with a Bimbo
Bimballs What is takes to admit being a Bimbo
Bimgoose Direct hit by a wild-eyed Bimbo
Bim Brown Bimbo football player and actor
Bimmearle Memorex CE
Bimbottle Container for Bimbooze
Bimmed Bimbo under the influence of Bimbooze
Bimbooze That by which a Bimbo gets 'Bimmed'
Bimboat Transport vehicle on Bimini
Bymnasium Bimbo exercise room
Bimattress Sleeping cushion on a Bimbed
Bimbed Major furniture item in a Bimbedroom
Bimbrain Imaginary item
Bimazing The concept of a non-imaginary Bimbrain
Bimbouncer Bimbo employed in a nightclub
Bimmoose Nick-name for a Bimbouncer
Mr B Famous former Bimbouncer and actor
Bimistake Common cause of Bimbinos
Bimmer Nick-name for a sporty German car; Also,
result of bad Bimbo acid
Bimwit Bimbo of greater than average intelligence
Bimwit &
Teller Famous Bimbo department store
Bimboese Language of Bimbos
Bimboa Long feathery item of Bimboette apparel
Bimbro Black Bimbo
Bimbob Southern Bimbo
Bimgrits Favorite side dish for Bimbros and Bimbobs
Bimbazooms Reasons why Bimbos like Bimboettes
Bimballoons Bimbazoom enhancers
Bimkaboom Sound made by overused or abused Bimballoons
Bimbored Normal Bimbo mental state
Bimbroke Normal Bimbo financial state; Also, condition
of Bimballoon after going Bimkaboom
Bimbread Item, the lack of which is known as being
Bimbroke; Also, place to put Bimbutter
Bimbutter High-calorie spread for Bimbread
Bimbang Activity leading to Bimistakes
Bimbanger A meat product that is usually placed between
the halves of Bimbuns
Bimbuns That upon which a Bimbo sits
Bimazola Liquid often present at Bimbangs
Bimorgy Group Bimbang
Bimetallic General appearance of a Bimbo knight in full
armor
Sir Bimbo Only known Bimbo in King Arthur's court
Bimbi Well known Bimbo nursery story
Bimagination Facility by which Bimbos dream
Bimbecile Average Bimbo
Bimbibe Process of ingesting Bimbooze
Bimmaculate What a Bimbo's house never is
Bimmigrant The first Bimbo to reach this country
Bimmune What Bimbos are, relative to insults
Bimpetuous What a Bimbo becomes when he sees a Bimboette
with big Bimbazooms
Bimbottom See Bimbuns
Bimbones Bimbo gambling devices; Also, a favorite food
of Bimbro's
Bimbarrel What a Bimbo is over when he runs low on
Bimbooze
Bimbar Where a Bimbo can order individual servings
of Bimbooze
Bimbarf What a Bimbo does after too much Bimbooze
Bimportant What a Bimbo will never be
Bimbrandy A type of Bimbooze
Bimbaboon Bimbo Ancestor
Bimbabble Normal Bimbo conversation
Bimbabushka Type of Bimboette headgear
Bimband Bimbo Bimusical group
Bimbachelor Unmarried Bimbo
Bimbaffle Easy achievement with a Bimbo
Bimbadge Device by which a Bimbo can remember his name
Bimbag Old Bimboette
Bimbaggage Bimbo luggage
Bimbagel Type of Bimbread favored by BimJAPs
Bimbahai A Bimbo religion
Bimbail Activity which keeps Bimboats afloat
Bimbakery Place to get Bimbread and Bimbagels
Bimballad Song of Bimbo achievements. Very short
Bimballast Stabilizing weights used in Bimboats
Bimbamboo Bimbo torture device
Bimbank Place to save Bimoney
Bimbanshee Screaming Bimbo
Bimbarbarian Description of Mr. B
Bimbarbell Device used in a Bymnasium
Bimbargain What a BimJAP can always get you
Bimbarn Place to keep Bimanimals
Bimbasic Bimbo computer language
Bimbass Member of a Bimband; Also, large-mouthed
Bimbo sports fish
Bimbathe A forbidden Bimbo activity
Bimbattle Bimorgy gone wrong
Bimbeagle Popular Bimbo canine
Bimbeard Result of not going to a Bimbarber
Bimbald Result of going to a Bimbarber
Bimbeauty One view of a Bimboette
Bimbeast Alternate view of a Bimboette
Bim Beam Another type of Bimbooze
Bimbedouin Arabian Bimbo
Bimbees With Bimbirds, an explanation for the
existence of Bimbinos
Bimbeer Popular type of Bimbooze
Bimbelch Frequent ocurrance after Bimbibing of Bimbeer
Bimbelfry Hangout for Bimbats
Bimbelly Device for temporary storage of Bimbeer
Bimbelt Restraining device for a Bimbelly
Bimbra Containment device for Bimbazooms
Bimbench Place to rest Bimbottoms
Bimbeaver Social animal frequently found at Bimbangs
Bimberet Type of Bimbo headgear
Bim Bertha Large historical Bimbo weapon
Bimbible Reference Bimbook used by Biministers
Bimbicarb Bimedicine often used after Bimbibing
Bimbicycle Form of Bimbo transportation
Bimbigamy Carrying a Bimorgy too far
Bimbigwig A Bimbo of consequence
Bimbill Price of a Bimeal
Bimeel Slippery Bimbo
Bimmink Fur used to make Bimboette outer apparel
Bimbinge That which comes between Bimbibing and
Bimbarfing
Bimbingo A religious money-raising activity
Bimbirth The emergence of a Bimbino
Bimboss One who tries to control a group of Bimbos
Bimbishop Biministers Bimboss
Bimblabber See Bimbabble
Bimblank Frequent Bimbo facial expression
Bimblarney Bimbrag
Bimblood What one gets by Bimbleeding
Bimbleed What a Bimbo does upon encountering a
Bimblade
Bimblimp A very large Bimbo(ette)
Bimblob Amorphous Bimbo
Bimbug Cause of errors in Bimbo computer programs
Bimblow Another popular activity at Bimorgies
Bimblubber Substance, the excess of which creates
Bimblobs and Bimblimps
Bimbaloney Verbal output of Bimbo politicians
Bimbolshevik Russian Bimbo
Bimbooboo See Bimistake
Bimboner See Bimbooboo, and Bimbanger
Bimbooster Fan of Bimbos
Bimbordello Residence for Bimbawds
Bimbaud Bimbo telecommuncation term
Bimbourbon Another Bimbooze
Bimbox Container for a Bimbeaver
Bimbrat Ill-mannered Bimbino
Bimbroad Bimboette
Bimbungle Bimbotch
Bimbubbles Nickname for a sexy Bimboette
GP> Eddie, a construction worker, came home early one day as it was
> raining too hard to work. As he walked into his apartment, he noticed
> the shades drawn and, when his eyes got used to the dim light, saw his
> best friend, Greg, lying on the couch naked.
Eddie said "eh Mate.......what's the story?"
Greg replied "eh Mate.....you're late for the three-some!"
GP> Looking in the bedroom, Eddie saw his wife in the well-messed up
> bed - also naked. Eddie put two and two together and quickly came to
> the conclusion Greg and his missus had something going.
Greg followed Eddie saying "Eh Mate she couldn't wait for yas!"
Upset with the two lovebirds, he walked back down the four flights of
stairs without a reply.
> OBJokes: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant
Church typewriters are notorious for embarrassing blunders in
church bulletins. One error, using the work "life," printed the sermon
topic: "How to Change Your Wife Through Prayer."
On another bulletin, intending to use "take," the pastor's
column read: "Many calls come to the church each week and we
conscientiously fake an interest in every one of them."
Then ---------------------------------------
It has been said that Adam and Eve had the only perfect
marriage. That was because he didn't have to hear about all the men she
could have married; and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother
cooked!"
Then ---------------------------------------
Stephen Cary was painting his long picket fence, watched by a
small neighbor, Carol. Steve had been painting for hours, it seemed,
and he still wasn't even half finished. He sighed, "Carol, I'm so
discouraged. I've been painting so long and look how far I have to go."
"I don't see why you're so discouraged," Carol replied. "You
only have to paint one picket at a time."
Then ---------------------------------------
The pediatrician was preparing to take a blood sample from
six-year-old Tommy, who looked very scared. As the doctor came closer
with the needle, Tommy started to cry. So the doctor, hoping to
distract the boy, smiled and asked, "Well, Tom, what are you going to do
when you grow up?"....and he stuck the needle in.
Tommy replied, "I'm going to kill you!"
Then ---------------------------------------
The car skidded to an abrupt stop. The first person on the
scene screamed, "Look at that awful sight splattered all over the inside
of the windshield!"
"Are you badly hurt?" they asked the man in the front seat.
"Nah," the driver replied, "but this pizza is a mess!"
Then ---------------------------------------
The television salesman gave a man and his wife a demonstration
of how to use a remote-controlled set. He hooked it up in their living
room, took the remote-control transmitter a block down the street, and
switched channels without difficulty.
But the wife didn't like it. She got tired of walking a block
away every time she wanted to change channels.
Then ---------------------------------------
Two violinists were sawing their way through their piece at
Carnegie Hall before a most appreciative audience when one of the two,
allowing his mind to wander for a moment, lost his place. Desperately,
he tried to listen to his companion while continuing to play and finally
he had no choice but to lean toward the other and say out of the corner
of his mouth, "Where the heck are we?"
And his companion, continuing to saw calmly away, said, "In
Carnegie Hall."
> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara
From: ubigpig@mcl.ucsb.edu (Jeremy Dodd)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
CONDOM(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(1)
NAME
condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child
processes
SYNOPSIS
condom [options] [processid]
DESCRIPTION
_condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted
Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the spread of
such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious
users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing
viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed
to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by
the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). _condom_ is known to
defend against the following viruses and other malicious
afflictions...
o AIDS
o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
o Syphilis
o Crabs
o Genital warts
o Gonhorrea
o Chlamydia
o Michelangelo
o Jerusalem
When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1),
foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a
child process. If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_
has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes
from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below). When other
process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child
process from being forked becomes much greater. See pill(1),
sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information.
If no options are given, the current user's login process (as
determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a
Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional
'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect.
NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk. _condom_
will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy
disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).
OPTIONS
The following options may be given to _condom_...
-b BRAND BRANDs are as follows...
trojan (default)
ramses
sheik
goldcoin
fourex
-m MATERIAL The valid MATERIALs are...
latex (default)
saranwrap
membrane -- WARNING! The membrane option is _not_
endorsed by the System Administrator General as an
effective barrier against certain viruses. It is
supported only for the sake of tradition.
-f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported...
plain (default)
apple
banana
cherry
cinnamon
licorice
orange
peppermint
raspberry
spearmint
strawberry
-r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)
-s STRENGTH STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying
the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to
_condom_ by the protected process. Using a larger
value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective
abilities, but also reduces interprocess
communication. A smaller value of STRENGTH increases
interprocess communication, but also increases the
likelihood of a security breach. An extremely
vigorous process or one passing an enormous amount
of data to _condom_ will increase the chance of
_condom_'s failure. The default STRENGTH is 80%.
-t TEXTURE Valid TEXTUREs are...
rough (default)
ribbed
bumps
lubricated (provides smoother interaction between
processes)
WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in
order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in
benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor! If execution
speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option.
DIAGNOSTICS
_condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes...
-1 An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk.
0 _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to
the synchronous process).
1 _condom_ failed and data was allowed through. The
danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child
process is inversely proportional to the number of other
protections employed and is directly proportional to
the ages of the processes involved.
BUGS
_condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process
from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although
the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most
effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted
viruses). See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program
for preventing these problems.
Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines
should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If you must
use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your
synchronous process. If we are all responsible, we can stop the
spread of STVs.
AUTHORS and HISTORY
The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times
and was only marginally effective. With the advent of modern
technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more
effective.
The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at
the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last
updated on 10/7/92.
SEE ALSO
celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3)
Cheers,
. o _ _ _ From the
. _o /\_ _ \o (@)\__/o (@) I C E-man
. _< \_ _>(@) (@)/<_ \_| \ _|/' \/
.(@)>(@) (@) (@) (@) (@)' _\o_ OUCH!
... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?
--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
* Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)
|