Text 2302, 67 rader
Skriven 2005-07-10 14:38:20 av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: Quickies [2 of 2]
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From: "Rai" <ceri@twmba.net>
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It goes without saying that the Big Sittin' Goose Decoy Blind, a product 
that we are not making up, is designed for hunters. The hunter reclines in a 
sort of beach chair, then pulls the giant goose body down over his face, 
making himself virtually invisible, except for the fact that his arms and 
legs and gun are clearly sticking out. The idea is that when geese fly 
overhead, they look down and think: Hey! There's a person down there 
engaging in an act of perversion with a giant goose! Naturally the geese 
want to fly down and take a closer look. Anybody would. - Dave Barry

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted: I am Napoleon! 
Another one said: How do you know? The first inmate said: God told me! A 
voice from another room shouted: I did NOT! 

Ms Piggy's last words, 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham. 

Notes for a ballet, 'The Spell': Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of 
wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon. Sigmund is astounded 
to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, 
divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any 
poultry jokes... 

One day, a bear and a rabbit were walking trough the woods when they saw a 
golden frog. The frog said 'I don`t see many people, but when I do I grant 
them three wishes. The bear looks at the rabbit and says 'That means three 
each'. The bear then says, "I wish all the bears in this forest were 
female." The rabbit wishes for a motorbike. The bear looks at the rabbit, 
then says, "in fact, I wish all the bears in the next forest were female, 
too." The rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear (getting a bit carried 
away), "I wish all the bears in the WORLD were female!!" Then,the rabbit 
puts on the helmet, revs the bike and says, "I wish that bear right there 
was gay" and rides away. 

Tea or coffee?
Coffee, without cream, please.
It will be without milk, we have no cream. 

The quantity of consonants in the English language remains constant. If 
omitted in one place, they turn up in another. i.e.: When a Bostonian 
'pahks' his 'cah,' the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to 
'warsh' his car and invest in 'erl wells.' 

Two brunettes and a blonde just broke out of jail, while running form the 
police they run into an old barn to hide. The first brunette hid up in the 
loft, the second brunette hid in the stalls, and the blonde hid in a potato 
sack. The police ran in. One cop ran up to the loft and the brunette says, 
'meowwwww'. 'Nothing but a little cat up here' says the cop. 'Okay, let's go 
check the stalls' So the other brunette says 'moooooooooo'. 'Oh, nothing 
here but a cow'. 'okay, lets go check over there by that potato sack' so 
they go over there and the blonde says 'potatoooo' 

When God was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side 
and all the females opposite. Then he asked: Which of your species would 
like to urinate standing up? Well, the males went crazy, shouting that they 
wanted to pee standing up. 'Fine', says God, 'Women get multiple orgasms'. 

 

Rai
 ---
A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare! 


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