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Skriven 2005-09-05 02:42:26 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
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MAN WITH LOSING STOCK PORTFOLIO DISCOVERED
By Ed 'Hack' Wheely (December 23, 1999)

Houston (NBp) -- The financial world was shocked today as librarian Kenny
Fenwick announced that his portfolio of stocks has lost money this year.
As the major stock indices continue to hit new record highs, it was
widely believed that losing money on stocks was impossible.  Fenwick has
proven that theory to be completely wrong.

Ironically, many people have commented to Fenwick that he looks like
billionaire computer tycoon Michael Dell.  Dell's stock portfolio has
done considerably better than Fenwick's.

After watching his friends make thousands in the market over the past few
years, Fenwick took the plunge earlier this year.  The first stock he
bought, Allied Amalgamated Foodstuffs Ltd., lost half its value the day
after he bought it when it was discovered that AAF's products were
actually made from scraps of old tires.

"I admitted my mistake with AAF and quickly moved on," explained Fenwick.
"You never can tell what will happen with a company, so there are times
when you need to cut your losses and move forward."

To replenish the money he lost on AAF, Fenwick cashed in his retirement
fund.  He decided to diversify his portfolio by investing in two stocks.
For stability, he chose automotive giant WorldWide Cars, which has sold
cars around the world for the past 77 years.  To take advantage of the
Internet boom, he chose ePeanut.com, a company that sells discount
peanuts online.

After WorldWide Cars announced that their engines tend to fall apart if
people drive the cars, and ePeanut announced that they had only sold 10
small packets of peanuts in their first year of operation, Fenwick cut
his losses again and picked five more stocks, on which he lost even more.

On a positive note, Fenwick's proof that not everyone is making money in
the stock market caused the government to decide against raising interest
rates.

Fenwick's original $10,000 investment is now valued at roughly $2.55.  To
cope with the staggering losses, Fenwick has announced a new investment
strategy.  He has announced intentions to acquire a Chalupa at Taco Bell.
Many analysts consider this to be a high-risk investment, due to roving
bands of hungry chihuahuas spotted recently in the Houston area.


1999 Kendermedia LLC.  All rights reserved.

Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... I C E-man.. I'm a mere dabbler compared to some of the wizards in here.

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
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