Text 2452, 181 rader
Skriven 2005-09-05 07:43:48 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: My, How You've GROWN!!!
===================================
                 George Pope was saying F unny stuff to  all  

 GP>           The Top 7 Responses to "My, How You've Grown!"

               SWEDISH COMPANY APOLOGISES FOR "HITLER" REMARK
               By Linda Galeazzi (Editor-In-Chief)

August 31, 1999.  Swedish-based Ericsson telecoms group apologised
publicly for anti-Semitic remarks made by the wife of one of its
employees.  The company was at a riding club in Israel when, according
to reports, one wife commented that Jews were thieves, liars and cheats
before adding that "it was a shame Hitler did not finish off his job."
The couple and their two children were immediately sent back to Sweden,
where the husband went back to work at Ericsson while the wife returned
to running the local chapter of the Shrews For No Jews fan club.

The harpy's comments have caused great public embarassment to Ericsson
and may have seriously hurt the company's public image.  Spokesman Lars
Stalberg told the press, "The head of our company (in Israel) has
appeared on television to extend an apology to the people of Israel and
we have also published a newspaper advert expressing the company's
regret at what has happened."

The company is involved in mobile phones and systems in Israel, although
the details of their involvement was not made clear.  Stalberg said that
the company hopes the impact of the incident would "not be serious" but
to be on the safe side, all women are being fired from the company.
"You know how loose-lipped they are," Stalberg said with a sad shake of
the head.

Yeah, and you know how they love to make s*** up, too, don't you?

© 1998, 1999 CyberStones.  All Rights Reserved.


> OBJoke: our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Last week a friend went to a seminar. He gave an example of a
coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When
you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days,
try this.

On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
section where they have thermometers.ou will need to purchase a
rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this
brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the rapes, and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change
to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on
your bed.

Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the
thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it
will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that
accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in
small print the statement that "every rectal thermometer made by
Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested."

Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that
I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."


> OBJoke: for the <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

60% SAY THAT WHILE BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN, REDHEADS GET MORE SEX

NEW YORK /PRNewswire/ -- The results of a national survey of 2,000 women,
and a handful of top celebrity redheads from the worlds of music, fashion
and film, may have finally shed some light on the peculiarly potent
powers of redheads.  It may also tell us which celeb redheads' powers
come from nature, and which from a bottle!

This survey was conducted to prepare for the culmination of Alize
Operation Redhead, a national sweepstakes that transformed hundreds of
lucky women winners across America into ravishing redheads.  Sponsored by
the makers of Alize Red Passion, the poll was designed to help these
lucky transformees tackle the many challenges and expectations they will
face in their new lives as redheads.  The participants also included the
many celebrity redheads who served as advisors to the program:  fashion
designers Nicole Miller and Betsey Johnson, singers Cyndi Lauper, Shirley
(Garbage) Manson, Kate (B-52s) Pierson and Charli Baltimore, actresses
Ann Magnuson and Tina ("Gilligan's Island") Louise and supermodel Tara
Shannon (individual responses are available upon request).

What's the bottom line?  Lucille Ball is still the queen of redheads
though animated femmes like Wilma Flintstone and Jane Jetson and
contemporary stars like Nicole Kidman rate high with both the general
populace and the stars.  Tori Spelling, Tiffany and shock-rocker Marilyn
Manson should think of changing their color, or maybe shave their heads.
The jig is up for the likes of Ginger Spice and Gillian Anderson who the
surveyees say are surely redheads born of chemistry and not nature.  And
when it comes to what redheads get more of, it's definitely sex!
Following are the complete results:

1. Favorite redhead of all-time:

Lucille Ball -- 32%

Bette Midler -- 12%

Nicole Kidman -- 10%

Faith Evans -- 8%

Jessica Rabbit -- 7%

Molly Ringwald;

Wilma Flintstone;

Ginger Spice -- tied with 5%

Jane Jetson -- 4%

Tina Louise;

Gillian Anderson;

Claire Danes -- tied with 3%

Shirley Manson -- 2%

2. Least favorite redhead:

Tori Spelling -- 31%

Marilyn Manson -- 23%

Carrot Top -- 18%

Axl Rose -- 11%

Tiffany -- 9%

Jessica Hahn -- 6%

3. If blondes have more fun, what do redheads have more of?

Sex -- 59%

Romance -- 12%

Brains -- 11%

Beauty -- 6%

4. Real or bottle redhead?  Real Bottle

Nicole Kidman 68% 32%

Lucille Ball 65% 35%

Gillian Anderson 49% 51%

Ginger Spice 10% 90%

Molly Ringwald 75% 25%

Ann Margaret 58% 42%

Alize's Operation Redhead was launched in March 1999.  More than 2,000
women across America entered the sweepstakes.  The event will culminate
with the mass dyeing of 250 women across America.  More than 30 tri-state
New York winners will be transformed at the Elizabeth Arden Red Door
Salon in New York, December 1 beginning at 11:30 AM.  The winners will
also get to meet and get some much needed advice from several celebrity
advisors, including designer Betsey Johnson, actresses Tina Louise and
Ann Magnuson and supermodel Tara Shannon.


Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)