Text 248, 99 rader
Skriven 2004-09-30 07:21:06 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Bye bye. . . . . . .
================================
 GS>         Tell Me does that mean My origin is from BC also? ;-)
 GS> Happy mid-Xmas but there is no Santa Claus!!!
 GS>  * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)

Funny

 -=[28-Sep-2004 20:14, George Pope replied IN a message to GREG SEARS]=-

 GP> When you are posting from here, yes it is! :)

  G-day George Pope,

  W O W.. .. ..  the I C E-man is N O W a Canuck!! I love IT ;-))))))))


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Making love to a woman

MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got
to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently,
and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then
you put in the milk.

LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail
her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might
like to try an underlay.

HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful
woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table,
cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light
your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'... slip in to the old
bag.

WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've
got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every
inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet
sponge.

BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful
woman.You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and
evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual
carriage-way, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a
rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as
possible.

GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First
of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod
cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in
use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are
no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually
applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and
that there's plenty of shot in your bag.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

Medicine man

Doc Grimsby was an old time travelling medicine show man. He used to
sell his elixir from the back of a covered wagon at every town where
he stopped. Old Pap recollected when he stopped in his town years ago.

"Doc Grimsby got up on the back of his wagon and it didn't take no
time at all before he had him a crowd around him! He launched off into
his pretty as can be spiel and said that for only a single buck, he'd
sell us a potion that would guarantee us a long life! He even said he
took it himself, and was living proof of its effects on ageing. Fact,
he told us that he was 249 years old."

"I smelled a rat, so I asked his assistant if the Doc really was 148.
The kid said he couldn't prove it since he'd only been working for the
guy barely more than a century!"


Cheers from,
  ICE-man      /\ Christchurch+          \ | /  Mountains, Sunshine
 Canterbury   /  \/\          |  /\     -- 0 --  Forestry, Farming
New  Zealand~/      \!!ii,,,,_*_/==\--~~~~~~~~~ First to USE 2004!!

... George. . . If it has TITS or TIRES, you gonna have trouble with it!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)