Text 3051, 183 rader
Skriven 2005-11-21 04:03:12 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: You Might Be A Redneck Starfleet Captain If...
==========================================================
 GP> On (20 Nov 05) Greg Sears wrote to ceri@twmba.net...
 GS> "You got it!" said the genie, and immediately a huge room appeared
   > behind the new prince's throne, with 366 lovely ladies watching him
   > adoringly.

  -=> 19-Nov-2005 23:20, George Pope wrote in a message to Greg Sears <=-

 GP> "And for your third wish, sir?" prompted the genie.

 GP> "For my last wish," said the Arab, "I want you to completely
   > eliminate the country of Israel off the planet, as well as every
   > last Jew!"

OR

  Looking on the bright side, thinking positive, smiling the.....joker
  replied For My third wish he said "A beer for you genie!" ;-)


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  An elderly couple were sitting in the kitchen when the stove
blew up and sent them both sailing out to land in a haystack.

  "You OK, Paw?" the wife asked.

  "Yep.  Lucky, I guess.  You OK, Ma?"

  "Yep!  Kinda enjoyed it.  Seems like it's the first time we been
out together in years."


> OBRiddles for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

        How does a television detective sneeze?
                "A-clue!  A-clue!"
        What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
                Someday my prints will come.
        What baseball team do ghosts like best?
                The Toronto Boo-Jays.
        What keeps Star Trek going?
                Spock plugs.
        What's a bug's favorite TV show?
                "Fly Witness News."

        What's the easiest way to get on television?
                Sit on your set.
        What detective takes bubble baths?
                Sherlock Foams.
        Why was the invisible man depressed?
                He was all dressed up and had no face to go.
        Who was Snow White's brother?
                Egg White.  Get the yoke?
        What's a hamburger's favorite movie director?
                Sizzle B. DeMille.

        How many letters are in the alphabet?
                Twenty-four.  E. T. went home.
        What kind of glasses does James Bond wear?
                Spy focals.
        What happened when the invisible man married the invisible
        woman?
                The children were nothing to look at.
        What did one Hollywood fly say to the other?
                "I just passed my screen test."
        Why did the Wicked Witch ride a broomstick to her castle?
                The extension cord on her vacuum cleaner wasn't long
                enough.

        What do you find at the end of Moby Dick?
                A whale of a tail.
        What kind of shoes does Mickey Mouse wear?
                Squeakers.
        How do gophers entertain themselves?
                They watch underground movies.
        What did the director say after shooting the mummy movie?
                "Wrap it up."
        What did the comedian say when he took off his clothes?
                "Haven't you ever seen a comic strip?"

        What keeps out bugs and shows movies?
                Screens.
        What did Batman have for lunch?
                Alpha-bat soup.
        What's the quietest sport on television?
                Bowling...you can hear a pin drop.
        Why does Dr. Jekyll go south for the winter?
                To tan his Hyde.
        What kind of TV program is shown early in the morning?
                A breakfast serial.

        Who did the Little Mermaid date?
                She went out with the tide.
        How did they find out how the Lone Ranger voted in the election?
                He left a silver ballot.
        What's the first thing Dracula went to see when he visited New
        York?
                The Vampire State Building.
        What do you get when you cross a teddy bear with a skunk?
                Winnie the Phew.
        What happened when the prisoners put on a show?
                It was a cell-out.

        What's a robot's favorite snack in a science fiction movie?
                Computer chips.
        What do you call a race track in outer space?
                A star track.
        Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?
                She had a pumpkin for a coach.
        What's Jaws' favorite food?
                A submarine sandwich.
        Who did the movie popcorn salute?
                The kernel.

        How did the puppet get into show business?
                His friend pulled a few strings for him.
        What's Mickey Mouse's favorite breakfast?
                Mice Krispies.
        What do you call an airplane that flies backward?
                An error plane.
        What's a pig's favorite television game show?
                "Squeal of Fortune."
        Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip to outer space?
                To find Pluto.
        What's a cat's favorite play?
                "Ro-meow and Juliet."
        What do grizzly detectives look for?
                The bear facts.
        Will Christmas trees grow in Los Angeles?
                No, but Hollywood.
        What does Bugs Bunny get when he goes to the barber shop?
                A hare-cut.
        Where do spies do their shopping?
                At a snooper market.

        What kind of girl does the mummy go out with?
                Any girl he can dig up.
        Why did the cowboy aim his gun at the fan?
                He was just shooting the breeze.
        How did the Wicked Witch break the sound barrier?
                With a sonic broom.
        Why did Mrs. Claus bring her umbrella to the movies?
                Because it may rain-deer.
        How does Barbie like her hot dogs?
                Barbie-cued.

        Where does the Little Mermaid sleep?
                In her water bed.
        What kind of star wears sunglasses?
                A movie star.
        What did E. T. eat at the playground?
                Recess Pieces.
        What kind of cars do movie stars want to drive?
                Os-cars.
        What happens when a television writer takes too many baths?
                He begins to write soap operas.
        Why is it hot after a World Series game?
                All the fans have gone.

        What do you call an actor in a suit of armor?
                A canned ham.
        What is the Eskimo's theme song?
                "There's No Business Like Snow Business."
        How did Porky the Pig get to the hospital?
                In a ham-bulance.
        Why did the TV weather man lose his job?
                Because the weather didn't agree with him.
        Why didn't the hot dogs want to star in the movies?
                Because the rolls weren't good enough.
        How does Columbo eat dinner at home?
                With a Falk.


Salutations from --Christchurch-+
  ICE-man in      /\            |          \ | /   Mountains, Sunshine
 New Zealand     /  \/\         |  /\     -- O --   Forestry, Farming
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^/      \!!ii,,..@-/==\---^-^-^-^-^ Beaches and Surfing


...  "Janet!", "Dr. Scott!", "Janet!", "Brad!", "Rocky!", "Bullwinkle!"

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 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)