Text 3079, 115 rader
Skriven 2005-11-25 06:41:42 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
   Kommentar till text 3067 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic
============================================
On (22 Nov 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GP> On (21 Nov 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GS>    G-day Mate, no worries for this Rabbi..........cause yer not
 GS>    > married!!
 GS>
 GS>  -=> 21-Nov-2005 09:21, George Pope wrote in a message to Greg Sears
 GS>  GP> Prove it!
 GS>    > By some definitions, I am, by others I'm not. . .
 GS>    > Which proof/definitions do you have?
 GS>
 GS> OK... like when the Vancouver Indian Chief found his daughter sleeping
 GS> with one of the tribe's braves <George>, he was furious.
[...]
 GS>   The young squaw was distraught, and to atone for his vengeful act
 GS> the chief named the lake after the brave, a name it retains to this
 GS> day: Lake <George> Schmuck.

You didn't prove me not married, you proved me DEAD!
And, if I had made it all the way across before drowning, then you
proved I *am* married!

But I'm mostly not most days. . .

Dunno why. . .


Someone is knocking on the door. Husband opens up and finds a scary looking
man with a gun in his hand:
- I'm a lady-killer from Boston!
Husband turns around and calmly shouts:
- Hon, it's for you.

Husband returns home late and finds a naked dude in his wife's bedroom closet.
- Hey, what are you doing in here?
- I'm riding a bus.
- That's a stupid thing to say!
- That's a stupid thing to ask!

A friend of a woman whose husband just died wants to have sex with her. She
says:
- Hey, it ain't no good, see, he's just died...
- Okie-dokie, we'll do it slowly and mournfully...

- I will never forget the party when I met my wife...
- It was pretty romantic, was it?
- M-m-m-m yea... I thought she was at home with the kids...

A just-married woman complains to her mother:
- My husband ain't treating me very well no more. What should I do?
- Tend him well, serve him what he likes.
- What? Blondes?


 On Marriage

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
 -- Henny Youngman

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that
perhaps they're too old to do it.
 -- Ann Bancroft

Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is
talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
 -- Bill Cosby

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
 --Benjamin Franklin

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
 -- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
 -- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
 -- Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
 -- George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
 -- Cindy Garner

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the
carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
 -- Henny Youngman

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
 -- Rita Rudner

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
 -- Henny Youngman

People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a
quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no
secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband
for not being Paul Newman.
 -- Erma Bombeck


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/715.1275
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)

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