Text 3110, 82 rader
Skriven 2005-12-01 10:25:22 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Fuck Xmas
=====================
     -=> 29-Nov-2005 12:05, George Pope wrote in a message to all <=-

 GP>               MERRY CHRISMAS!
   > You think you got it bad?

Well there was..... Mr Ricter who tried everything for his insomnia,
but nothing seemed to help. Night after night he tossed  and turned
but never managed more that a few minutes' sleep. Doctor after doctor
failed to find a cure, and the poor man became resigned to a life of
sleepless nights. One evening he stopped in at a local tavern and
slumped wearily against the bar.

  The bartender listened sympathetically as the poor fellow spoke of
night after sleepless night and finally said, "I think I know a way
to put an end to this problem." Ricter was skeptical but at this
point willing to try anything. "My uncle Harry couldn't sleep either
" said the bartender, "but this is what did the trick. Go home and
get ready for bed. If you can't sleep within fifteen minutes, get up,
get a glass, put a lump of sugar in the bottom, cover the sugar with
good bourbon, and drink it down. Then go back to bed. If you aren't
asleep in fifteen minutes, get up and do it again. Then, if you still
can't sleep, do it again. Keep on doing it and it will do for you
what it did for Uncle Harry."

  "You mean it really put him to sleep?"

  "Well, not exactly," admitted the bartender. "But now he doesn't
mind staying awake."


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  A group of friends decided to suprise Max with a party to celebrate
his twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. The party was going full blast
when one of his friends realized that Max had disappeared. He began
searching and finally came across Max slumped in a chair in his den.

  "What's wrong, old buddy? Is the party too much for you?"

  "No, it's not that."

"Then what's wrong, Max?"

  "Well, it's like this. When my wife and I had been married for five
years, I knew I hated her and that I wanted to kill her. I asked my
lawyer what the penalty would be for such a crime, and he assured me
that even with time off for good behavior it meant twenty years in
jail."

  "I don't get it, Max," confessed his friend. "Why should you be sad
about not spending twenty years in prison?"

  "I can't help but think if I had done it, today I'd be a free man."


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  Mr. Hart rushed to the hospital and demanded to see his teen-age
son. He was taken to the boy's room and found that his son had a
broken leg and was covered with cuts and bruises.

  "My God," exclaimed his father, "what happened? Did you have an
accident?"

  "No, Dad, nothing like that," the boy assured him. "I took my girl
home, and we went into her playroom and put on some records and
started to dance. Well, her father came home, and he's deaf. He came
into the playroom and saw us, but he couldn't hear the music. He
threw me out right through their front window."



Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜßÜ

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 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)