Text 3195, 154 rader
Skriven 2005-12-05 00:24:50 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Pastoral Tale
=========================
            -=> George Pope wrote to all <=-

 GP> We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening

The Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.

Wrappings and toys littered the floor,
An incredible mess that I did abhor.

With Mom in her robe and I in my jeans,
We waded in to get the place clean.

When suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter,
I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.

The new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot,
Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.

But suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant:
An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.

The door flew open and in they came,
Stern-looking men with bills in my name.

On Discover, on Visa, on American Express,
On Mastercard too, I sadly confess,
Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth,
OUer the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.

The black-suited men, so somber, so strict,
I wondered why me that they had first picked.

They stared at me with a look I couldn't miss,
And said "Buddy, when are you for paying for this?"

I shrugged my shoulders, but then I grew bolder,
Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.

"As you can see," I said with a smile,
"It's bankruptcy that I'll have to file!"
And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended
I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.

The scent of burnt ash came to my nose,
As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.

Without another word they turned and walked out,
Got into their limos, but one gave a shout:
"You may think that's the answer to all of your fears,
But it's nothing you'll charge for at least seven years!


> OBX-mas for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Cats' Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs:

10. Up on the Mousetop
 9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
 8. Joy to the Curled
 7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
 6. The First Meow
 5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
 4. Silent Mice
 3. Fluffy, the Snowman
 2. Jingle Balls
 1. Wreck the Halls!


> OBX-mas for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

 ACLU Announces Lawsuit against Santa Claus
 by David Bibb

CHICAGO - The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that  it was
bringing a lawsuit against Santa Claus for violations of  the civil rights
of children.  An ACLU spokesman, Mr. E. Scrooge  stated that, "Mr. Claus
has been violating children's right to  privacy and has been putting that
information in a vast database.   The information is then used by the law
enforcement arm of Mr. Claus  organization to determine which children are
considered naughty or  nice.  It is obvious Mr. Clause has violated the
children's rights,  as we have alleged in our suit, because of the memos
and other  company information we have obtained.  In addition, we believe
Mr. Claus has been engaging in mind control experiments designed  to
prevent the free expression of beliefs."

Among the documents presented to the courts today was a memo in  which
reads, in part:

        You better watch out.
        You better not cry.
        You better not pout.
        I'm telling you why.
        Santa Claus is coming to town.

        He sees you when you are sleeping
        He knows when you're awake,
        He knows when you've been bad or good
        So be good for goodness' sake.

Mr. Scrooge claimed the document, was obtained from one of  workers in the
distribution department of Mr. Claus' organization,  "...clearly shows a
concerted attempt to restrict the rights of  children to free expression
and free thought.  In addition, there  are concerns about the security of
the information.  What would  be the result of such a database being made
available to other  law enforcement agencies around the world?"

Lawyers at the Justice also confirmed today that they were  investigating
the possibility that Mr. Claus was at the core  of a vast conspiracy
against children.    Anonymous sources  from inside the Justice Department
stated that, "We believe  a large number of parent, ministers and teachers
are involved  in this business and we expect several of them will testify
for the State in return for a lighter sentence."  In addition,  the same
sources indicated a parallel investigation by the  Department and the FBI
on possible charges of smuggling on  the part of Mr. Claus, "our records
do not show Mr. Claus,  or any one else paying any import duties or taxes
on any items  he has delivered.  Since Mr. Claus has representatives in
all  of the States of the Union we believe he should have to pay  state
and local taxes on all of the goods he delivers."

Lawyers for Mr. Claus stated, "The charges of the ACLU are absurd.   Mr.
Claus is a well known and highly respected figure.  His  supporters are
from around the world and his message of love  and respect can, in no way,
be taken as a form of "mind control"  or a violation of the civil rights
of children."

The lawsuit is complicated by the fact that Mr. Claus is not a  resident
of the United States or any country which the United  States currently has
an extradition treaty.  It is unknown where  Mr. Claus is at the moment,
but it is believed he is hiding out  at his north pole estate.

In a brief statement, read by his lawyer, Mr. Claus said, "I find  the
charges of the ACLU absurd and am confident they will be  rejected by the
courts.  As for any criminal charges, I believe  the Justice Department
will discover they have no basis."

Experts are uncertain what possible effect the suit or possible  pending
charges might have on Mr. Claus' Christmas travels this year.



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