Text 3250, 124 rader
Skriven 2005-12-18 03:16:06 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Website Disclaimer
==============================
 Echo: FUNNY

 [ 16-Dec-2005 06:45, IN a Message to all ]

    George Pope's Subject was. . . . . .

 GP> ** ADULT MATERIAL WARNING **

   Greetings George Pope, does this one count? '-)


Why the Internet Is Like a Penis
================================

* It can be up or down.  It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it
  hard to get any real work done.

* In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
  considered vital to the survival of the species.  Some people still
  think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks
  today use it for fun most of the time.

* It has no conscience and no memory.  Left to its own devices, it will
  just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

* It provides a way to interact with other people.  Some people take
  this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark.  Sometimes
  it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's
  too late.

* If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
  viruses.

* It has no brain of its own.  Instead, it uses yours.  If you use it
  too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think
  coherently.

* We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size
  and influence warrant.

* If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big
  trouble.

* It has its own agenda.  Somehow, no matter how good your intentions,
  it will warp your behavior.  Later you may ask yourself "why on earth
  did I do that?"

* Some folks have it, some don't.

  Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.  They
  think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior.  They think
  it gives them power.  They are wrong.

  Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think
  it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it.
  Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

* Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop.  Some people
  would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

A traveling salesman was driving through the country when he noticed an
old farm house. On the porch of this farm house was an old butter churn
with a "for sale" sign on it. Knowing his wife would be pleased with
such a perfect antique he quickly pulled up to the farm house. Sitting
on the porch was the an old woman and with her an even an older man. The
old woman greeted the salesman and after a brief chat agreed on a price
for the butter churn. As the salesman paid the old woman he noticed the
old man was sitting at the end of the porch with a fishing pole in hand.
The salesman also noticed that the old man had a baited hook on the end
of the fishing line and was 'bobbing' the baited hook 'in' and 'out' of
an old pail filled with water. Seeing the salesman's concern over the
seemingly fruitless fishing expedition the old woman commented,
"Mister, your gonna have to excuse Pa there." "You see, Pa is up in age
and his mind ain't what it use to be." "We just let him fish all day
'cause it makes him feel good." Feeling compassion for the dilemma this
poor woman was in the salesman asked if it would be better to stop this
behavior. "Stop him!?!..............mister we can use the fish!"


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

1.  "I'm glad I passed my electrocardiogram," said George wholeheartedly

2.  "Dear, yu've lost you birth control pills," said George pregnantly.

3.  "No, Eve, I won't touch that apple," said George adamantly.

4.  "Well, I'll be an S.O.B.," said George doggedly.

5.  "There's too much vermouth in my martini," said George dryly.

6.  "You gave me two less than a dozen," said George tensely.

7.  "I'm in bed with the mumps," said George infectiously.

8.  "What I do best on a camping trip is sleep," said George intently.

9.  "I'll see if I can dig it up for you," said George gravely.

10. "Why don't you try on this negligee?" asked George transparently.

11. "Have a ride in my new ambulance," said George hospitably.

12. "I'm off for the racetrack," said George hoarsely.

13. "I do admire Raquel Welch's acting," said George figuratively.

14. "Aren't five cups of tea too many from one bag?" asked George weakly



Salutations from --Christchurch-+
  ICE-man in      /\            |          \ | /   Mountains, Sunshine
 New Zealand     /  \/\         |  /\     -- O --   Forestry, Farming
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^/      \!!ii,,..@-/==\---^-^-^-^-^ Beaches and Surfing


... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)