Text 346, 131 rader
Skriven 2004-10-08 11:31:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: Ho ho
=============
GS> HOW TO BATHE LIKE A MAN:
[...]

And here I thought it was just me! *LOL*

How about showering, for the two sexes?


How To Shower Like a Man
Short version:

1.   Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
     and leave them in a pile on the floor.

2.   Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your
     girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her.

3.   Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in
     your gut to see if you have pecs.

4.   Turn on the water.

5.   Check for pecs again.

6.   Get in the shower.

7.   Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)

8.   Wash your face.

9.   Wash your armpits.

10.  Wash your penis and surrounding area.

11.  Wash your ass.

12.  Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)

13.  Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14.  Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.

15.  Pee

16.  Rinse off and get out of the shower.

17.  Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your
     girlfriend/wife, flash her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

How To Shower Like A Woman
Long version: (sorry, there is no short version with women)

1.   Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this
     morning because there was a distinct chill in the air due to the
     temperature dropping

2.   Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
     head. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up
     any exposed flesh immediately, ignore his juvenile turban gags and
     then rush to bathroom.

3.   Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut
     so that you can complain and whinge even more about how you're
     getting fat.

4.   Turn on the hot water only.

5.   Get in the shower, once you have found it through all that steam.

6.   Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah
     and pumice stone.

7.   Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83added
     vitamins.

8.   Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83added
     vitamins.

9.   Wash your hair once more with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83
     added vitamins.

10.  Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
     with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

11.  Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten
     minutes until red raw.

12.  Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

13.  Complain bitterly when you realise that your boyfriend/husband
     has once again been eating your Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

14.  Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as
     you must make sure that it has all come off).

15.  Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be
     bothered, and anyway the hair helps keep you warm.

16.  Slick hair back and pretend you're like Bo Derek in 10.

17.  Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and
     you get a rush of cold water.

18.  Turn hot water on full and rinse off.

19.  Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.

20.  Check entire body for the remotest sign of a spot.
     Attack with nails/tweezers if found.

21.  Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
     If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
     exposed flesh immediately, ignore his juvenile turban gags and
     then rush to bedroom.



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 

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