Text 347, 134 rader
Skriven 2004-10-11 20:36:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Re: A Story
===================
BBS: Milky Way Date: 10-08-04 (10:40) GEORGE POPE replied To: GREG SEARS

Conf: (327) FUNNY

GP>GS>     Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?

GP>A - Acne
  >B - Baby bumps
  >C - Cuddly
  >D - Decent
  >E - Extra-Meaty
  >F - Fucking huge!

Another definition according to CybrPope eh! C O O L! '-)

>OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  Date: 24 Jul 99  13:00:51
  From: George Pope

Atlanta:

1. Atlanta is composed entirely of one way streets.  The only way to
get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you
reach Greenville, South Carolina.

2. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..." and include the
phrase, "When you see the Waffle House..."

3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be
confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Battle, or
Peachtree Corners.

4. Atlanta is home of Coca Cola.  That's all we drink here, so don't
ask for any other soft drink... unless it's made by Coca Cola.

5. Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home.

6. Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse.

7. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street
you started on.  The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and
has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel
lost....they're just on a "scenic drive."

8. The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m.  The 5:00 p.m.
rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m.  Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
morning and lasts through 2:00 a.m. Saturday.

9. Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody... especially
those of us who live here.

10. "Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if
there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than
they are.

11. "Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss".  So is
"Honey".  "Honey" is always used by Waffle House waitresses.

12. Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do
not attempt the Spanish pronunciation.  People will simply tilt their
heads to the right and stare at you.  (The Atlanta pronunciation is
"ponts duh LEE-un")

13. The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately
forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl
applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

14. If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're
expected to get on and go somewhere.

15. Atlanta is pronounced "LAN-uh".

16. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a
permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped
and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

17. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they
close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

18. Atlanta's traffic is the friendliest around.  The commuters
spend hours mingling with each other twice a day.  In fact, Atlanta's
traffic is rated number 1 in the country.  You will often see people
parked beside the road and engaged in lively discussions.

19. Atlantans are very proud of our race track, known as Road
Atlanta.  It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its
name.

20. Georgia 400 is the southern equivalent of the Autobahn.  You
will rarely see a semi-truck on GA400, because even the truck  drivers
are intimidated by the oversized-SUV-wielding housewives racing home
after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their
children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool.


> OBJoke: for Mr, <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  Date: 24 Jul 99  13:00:51
  From: George Pope

    When the Software industry had badly gone down, three software
giants. Sun, SCO(UNIX), and Microsoft started producing condoms and
named them Java-condom, CondomiX, and MS-Condoms 98 respectively.

    A customer using Java-condom complained to Sun that the condom
didn't fit correctly.

    Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard".

    They boasted that it would fit any size irrespective of the
underlying structure. Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and
found that by the time he would finish reading the instructions given
along with it, his wife would fall asleep, and he himself would forget
why he was using CondomiX.

    Finally, he switched to MS-Condoms 98. To his surprise it was so
good.....and comfortable! He used it happily.

    Six months later, he found that his wife was pregnant. He got angry
and complained to Microsoft. He got the following reply from Microsoft:

    A PATCH IS COMING SOON...!!!

.          ,       .________________________________________________.
.       ,___|._/_. | Trucking New Zealand with a smile on the dial! |
.  ,___/__] ||   | |             -=[ The I C E-man  ]=-             |
.  |.__!____!!___! !________________________________________________!
.  "~(_)[___][___]==(_)(_)=|    \_______________________]=(_)(_)(_)~'

 * SLMR 2.1a * 1956.."640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)