Text 366, 126 rader
Skriven 2004-10-15 06:48:14 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Book
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of the Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's Story Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 13

                --------------------------------------
                              WARNING -
                     The following stories contain
                black humour, incest, nonconsensual sex,
               sexual violence, hetero anal intercourse,
                    pedophilia, inferred bestiality,
                           (you get the idea)

             If this is not your cup of tea/coffee, please
            consider - gentle reader - the options available
              on your newsreader, specifically to skip the
                       remainder of this posting.
               ----------------------------------------
      The Canonical List of Different Ways to Say "Masturbation"
     ************************************************************

 audition the finger puppets
 backstroke roulette
 bash the candle
 be a virtuoso of the skin flute
 beat off
 beat the bishop
 beat the dummy
 beat the meat
 beat the stick
 beat up your date
 beef-stroke-it-off
 bleed the weed
 blow your load
 bludgeon the beefsteak
 bop the baloney
 box the Jesuit and get cockroaches
 boxing the bald champ
 buff the banana
 burp the baby
 burp the worm
 butter the corn
 choke Kojak
 choke the chicken
 choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
 clamp the pipe
 clean your rifle
 climb Mount Baldy
 closet Frisbee
 come into your own
 cook the cream of cock
 corral the tadpoles
 couch hockey for one
 crank the shank
 crimp the wire
 crown the king
 cuff the carrot
 diddle
 do a hand job
 do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
 do handiwork
 do the janitor thing
 drain the monster
 engage in safe sex
 fist fuck
 fist your mister
 five knuckle shuffle
 flog the dog
 flog the dong
 flog the hog
 flog your mule
 fondle the fig
 friggit
 gallup the antelope
 genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
 get a date with Slick Mittens
 get the German soldier marching
 get to know yourself
 give it a tug
 go a couple of rounds with ol' josh
 go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
 grease the pipe
 hack the hog
 have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
 have a date with Fisty Palmer
 have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
 have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming
 slang)
 have it off
 have sex with someone you love
 hitchhike to heaven
 hitchhike under the big top
 hold the sausage hostage
 hug the hog
 hump your hose
 jack hammer
 jack off
 jazz yourself
 jerk off
 jerkin' the Gherkin
 juggling the coullions
 meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
 knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
 launching the rocket skyward
 lope the mule
 make instant pudding
 make the bald man puke
 mangle the midget
 manipulate the mango
 manual override
 master bacon
 meet Rosie Hancock
 milk the cow
 milk the lizard
 mount a corporal and four
 nerk your throbber
 null the void
 oil the glove
 onan's olympics


... People laughing. . . . makes it noisy in F UNNY #[;-)]

 

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