Text 3976, 86 rader
Skriven 2006-04-06 14:38:00 av George Pope
Ärende: School Daze
===================
And one of my favourite online columnists (who's broken through to prime time
TV with one of his essays, "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter") which I've
lost, but I have this other excellent one of W. Bruce Cameron's:


Dear Mr. Cameron,
As a courtesy, we are sending you a copy of this letter we recently wrote your
15 year old daughter in response to a query we received from her.

Dear Ms. Cameron,
Thank you for your letter. Yes, we are pleased to report, your father's old
high school is still standing and our library was able to find yearbooks
dating "all the way back" to his graduation.  In fact, a few teachers even
remember your father, which I will get to in a moment.

In answer to your first question: In every picture extant of your father he is
well shod, wearing what I believe were called "earth shoes" back then. Also,
the weather here is moderate, with snow generally lasting from December
until March--hardly the entire school year. Thus his descriptions of the
conditions under which he "struggled" to school in the morning do, as you
suggested, seem a bit exaggerated. In fact, our bus logs are (remarkably)
still intact, revealing that not only was your father a registered passenger,
but that his parents paid the extra ten dollars a month for door-to-door
delivery.

I am sure there were days when your father was very "sharply dressed," as you
state he puts it, but in every single photograph I was able to uncover he is
wearing exactly the same thing: bell bottom blue jeans with white strings
trailing from the edges onto the floor, horizontal rents in the knees, and no
belt buckle. His T-shirt displays a message easily communicated with hand
gestures. His hair hangs past his shoulders and looks as if it was exposed to
a lot of wind -- perhaps he rode the school bus with the window open.

As to academics and "concentrating on the basics," one must remember the
times: the "basics" back then may very well have embraced some of your
father's elective subjects, which included "Personal Citizenship," "Ecology,
"
and one which apparently was called "Relevance." We have no record of what, if
anything, was taught in these classes. What records we do have show that your
father did indeed take Geometry, just as he claims. In fact, he took it his
sophomore year, repeated it his junior year and repeated the course again
his senior year - Geometry was required for graduation.

Now as to Mr. Muggins, who had your father in a class called "Problems of
Modern Relationships." Mr. Muggins does not wish to dispute the claim that
your father always had his homework done early, he merely wants to point out
that no matter when it was done, it was always handed in late. In fact, your
father sticks out in Mr. Muggins' mind as having the most outrageous excuses
for being unprepared, including having to evacuate his home because it was
infected with the China Syndrome.

Your father was not, sad to say, President of the Student Council. Perhaps he
is confusing student government with a social group called "The Slackers,"
which Mr. Muggins recalls was a group of boys who sat in the hallway and made
loud groaning noises whenever an attractive girl strode past. Your father was
assistant vice president of the club, and, to our knowledge, is the only past
member not currently serving time in a federal penitentiary.

One thing IS completely verifiable: Your father's name is, indeed, carved
above the door to the school. Please advise that, now that we have noticed
it, we will need to have it sanded out and refinished, at a cost of
approximately three hundred dollars. We would appreciate it if your father
would agree to pay for the damage without having to engage lawyers. The honor
roll to which he apparently referred is not above the door, it hangs outside
my office. I will leave unanswered the question as to whether his name is
upon it.

Thank you very much for your letter, which we found most amusing.  Be sure to
tell your father hello from Mr. Muggins.

I am the moderator of FIDONET's "FUNNY Jokes and Stories" echo (come on by!)
:)

I sign in peace, as a friend,
|<+]::-( ("Cyberpope"(the Bishop of ROM!))
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
Suggestions for joke conference happiness:
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like! B)If you DO
like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :) My Preferred Netmail
address is: 1:153/307.11


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