Text 3996, 158 rader
Skriven 2006-04-24 02:42:50 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Punnies
===================
FUNNY

 -=[06-Apr-2006 14:34, George Pope wrote IN a message to All]=-

 GP> If Bob Vila was a plastic surgeon who did makeovers for married
   > couples, would his show be called "This Old Spouse"?

  G-day George Pope, Q. What do you call someone who spikes the punch
                        with prune juice?

                     A. A party pooper.


> OBJoke: for the moderator of FIDONET's "FUNNY Jokes and Stories" echo

Q. Do you know how the Pope keeps his papers together?
A. With papal clips.

Q. What's the definition of constipation?
A. A log jam.

Q. How do we know computers have been around since biblical times?
A. Because Eve had an apple and Adam had a wang.

Q. What's one advantage of old age?
A. You can sing and brush your teeth at the same time!

Q. What happens when a bunch of cut onions floats downstream?
A. It makes the Bridge Over the River Kwai (cry).

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian with buck-teeth?
A. A rake!

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian in a fur coat?
A. A pipe cleaner.

Q. How can you tell that a woman is REALLY fat?
A. When she walks backward, she goes BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian with a dime on his head?
A. A nail.

Q. What is Jewish foreplay?
A. Two hours of begging!

Q. How can you tell if your wife's too fat?
A. You slap her behind on the way out to work, and its still wiggling
   when you return, that evening.

Q. What's a wiener?
A. The first one to cross the line at a Mexican track meet.

Q. What does an Ethiopian woman NEVER say to her husband?
A. "Eat me."

Q. What's black, charred, and hangs from the chandelier?
A. A polish electrician

Q. Did you hear about the Pollack who was so stupid that other poles
   noticed?
A. (none required)

Q. Did you hear about the polish prisoner who was found dead with two
   dozen bumps on his head?
A. He tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Q. Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A. There was a face off in the corner.

Q. Why did they stop the leper football game?
A. There was a hand off in the backfield.


> OBJoke: for  |<+]::-( ("Cyberpope"(the Bishop of ROM!))

Q. How can a real man tell his girlfriends having an orgasm?
A. Real men don't care.

Q. Why do bi-sexuals and gay men smoke cigars?
A. Practice makes perfect!

Q. Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?
A. She left the plunger in the toilet.

Q. Why did Hellen Keller hire her back?
A. She liked it!

Q. What is virginity?
A. A Big issue over a little tissue!

Q. What is the difference between a sewing machine and a woman jogger?
A. A sewing machine only has one bobbin'.

Q. What's a faggot's favorite flavor of gum?
A. Juicy Fruit!

Q. Why did the priest die of AIDS?
A. He forgot to wash his organ between hymns.

Q. What do a walrus and a tupperware salesperson have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal!

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectum thermometer?
A. The Taste.

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a slide rule.

Q. What's the coldest part of an eskimo?
A. His balls.  they're two below.

Q. What do you call a calf's pussy?
A. Veal cuntlet.

Q. What are "Brownie Points"?
A. What you find in a future girl scout's bra!

Q. What's a clitoris?
A. A female hood ornament!

Q. What do you do when a pitbull humps your leg?
A. Fake an orgasm!

Q. What's the most common bra size at the Senior Citizens' Home?
A. 38 Long.

Q. Why should you only have sex for six days of a seven day long
   honeymoon?
A. Because seven days makes a whole week.

Q. What is a display of complete honesty and trust?
A. 2 cannibals in a sixty-nine!

Q. What's better than roses on a piano?
A. Tulips (two lips) on my organ!

Q. Who are the most sociable people in the world?
A. Gay men.  They all have friends up the ass!

Q. Why couldn't the gay student sit down?
A. His seat was taken right before class.

Q. How can you tell most theatrical agents are gay?
A. They like to get behind their young talent and push!



     . . . . o o o o o
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  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜßÜ

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