Text 4125, 256 rader
Skriven 2006-05-05 09:02:20 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Those Lovable Caddies (or ARE they?)
================================================
   -=> 02-May-2006 22:17, George Pope wrote in a message to Greg Sears <=-

 GP> Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
   > Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

    OH more.......................

Q. A bum, the tooth fairy, and an honest lawyer were walking down the
   street together when they simultaneously spotted a $1000 bill.  Who
   gets it?
A. Well, the bum, of course!  The other two don't exist!

Q. What's 6 inches long that every woman loves?
A. Paper money!

Q. What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A. Lean beef.

Q. How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Six.  Two to start screwing and four to mill around chanting that it
   was lit the moment they started screwing.

Q. Who's the patron saint of Ethiopia?
A. Karen Carpenter.

Q. What were Karen Carpenter's last words?
A. "Gag me with a spoon."

Q. Why did Karen Carpenter's family have trouble selling her house?
A. It didn't have a kitchen.

Q. Where can a midget spend the night without paying?
A. A Stayfree Minipad.

Q. Why does the U of O use artificial turf in Autzen stadium?
A. To keep the cheerleaders from grazing!

Q. Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen?
A. They sell more tickets.

Q. Why did god make women so pretty?
A. So men would like them.

Q. Why did he make them so stupid?
A. So they would like men.

Q. What is long and hard on a black man?
A. Third Grade!

Q. Why don't sharks eat lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy!

Q. Why do pro ball players always wear hats?
A. So they know which end to wipe!

Q. What's the difference between an elephant and an Italian grandmother?
A. A black dress!

Q. Why is the Catholic Church hiring hundreds of blacks?
A. To teach the congregation the rhythm method!

Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
A. Because you can't fit all that shit into a tennis shoe.

Q. What are the two most common lies in Poland?
A1: The check's in your mouth.
A2: I promise I won't come in the mail.

Q. Why don't women have brains?
A. Because they don't have a dick to keep one in!


> OBQs & As: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic waterskiing?
A. Skip!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic on your doorstep?
A. Matt!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic hanging on your wall?
A. Art!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in a mail?
A. Bill!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic swimming in a lake?
A. Bob!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in a pile of leaves?
A. Russell!

Q. What do you call two quadriplegics hanging on your wall?
A. Curt -n- Rod

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in bed?
A. Dick

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in the mailbox?
A. Bill.

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic who gets caught in a
   meat grinder?
A. Chuck.

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic lying in a hole in the
   road?
A. Phil

Q. And what do you call the guy who put him there?
A. Doug

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic lying on a barbers floor?
A. Harry

Q. What do you call the same guy doing pushups?
A. LUCKY!

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic lying in a hot-tub?
A. Stu

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic lying in a meat counter?
A. Buck

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic lying in a mailbox?
A. Mel

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in a box with his arms and legs?
A. Kit

Q. What do you call a woman quadriplegic on the bottom of the
  ocean?
A. Sandy.

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic being run through a sawmill?
A. Chip

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic on a stage?
A. Mike!


> OBQs & As: for mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic on your bar-b-que?
A. Frank.

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic on your bar-b-que?
A. Patty.

Q. What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?
A. Hop in.

Q. What do you say to a hitch-hiker with no legs?
A. Can I give you a lift?

Q. What do you call a cow with 2 legs up against a barn?
A. Lean Beef

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef

Q. What do you call a prostitute with no legs?
A. A nightcrawler

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in Alcatraz?
A. Rocky

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic under a car?
A. Jack

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in the Christmas choir?
A. Carol

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in the flowerbed?
: Rose, Iris, Lily, Daisy, Petunia, or Violet

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic playing Volleyball?
A. Spike

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in the bathroom?
A. John

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic on the edge of a mountain?
A. Cliff

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic at 12am on Jan. 1st?
A. Eve

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in the summer?
A. June

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic at sunrise?
A. Dawn

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic at sunrise?
A. Don

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic who likes yellowish
   semi-precious stones?
A. Amber

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic with really big ears?
A. Bunny

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic with lots of freckles?
A. Dotty

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in a pan of boiling water?
A. Blanche

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in a pasture?
A. Horace

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in the river near the bank?
A. Doc

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic up a chimney?
A. Smokey

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic in Harlem?
A. Blacky

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic with lots of money?
A. Rich

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic who is just average?
A. Norm

Q. What do you call a girl quadriplegic in a truck?
A. Lori

Q. What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs who's trying to stand
   up?
A. Consuelo

Q. What do you call a quadriplegic and no ears?
A. You don't...with no ears, how could he hear you?

Q. What do you call a dog with no legs?
A. It doesn't matter since he can't come anyway!

Q. How is a dog with no legs like a cigarette?
A. You take him for a drag!


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