Text 4247, 105 rader
Skriven 2006-05-23 08:18:22 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: As I Mature. . .
============================
 GS> Q. Did you know that ALL children are born with Penises?
   > A. Yeah.....But it falls off the stupid ones!

 Echo: FUNNY
 Date: 15-May-2006 07:22
 Read:" Re: As I Mature. . . "
 George Pope Put A SMILE on Greg Sears's  DIAL #[:-)] 

 GP> It doesn't just fall off. . .
   > Q: Why do doctors spank newborn babies?
   > A: To knock the penises off the dumb ones.

 George Pope, Have you read this one. . . .  HOW TO COMBAT FAST


Yes, an easy no nonsense guide to shitting on FAST and saving yourself
from nasty fines and possible jail sentences.

1) Do not pirate games - Yes, this method will save you umpteen hassles
   should FAST appear in your doorway, but will cost you more buying all
   the games.

2) Always keep games disk-mashed or warped and then encrypted - If your
   games are encrypted with a password only known to you then FAST will
   not be able to discover what's on your disks.  Although this method
   is a right waste of time.

3) Keep an M16 handy - The ultimate FAST deterrent - nobody's gonna Fuck
   with you with this piece of hardware by your side!

4) Always get new contacts to send cracked stuff first - FAST is not
   allowed by law to do anything to encourage you to do anything naughty
   so if you get new contacts to send first then you can be sure they
   are not FAST.  Should FAST actually send anything to you then press
   charges you can sue their arses off and they'll have to drop the
   charges!

5) Start your own drugs operation - What? You're thinking, well, with
   the money this rakes in you can pay off all the officials!

6) Hide the disks - If they can't find them then they can't do anything!


And what you should do if things go wrong and you get caught.


a) Cry like a baby, go to prison and become a bum-boy for the 'ard nuts.

b) Use number 4) if applicable.

c) Get a bloody good lawyer.

d) Grass up the whole scene and get yourself off the hook (You
   bastard!).


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

        10 THINGS YOU'D RATHER

        NOT KNOW ABOUT FLYING


 1. A Jumbo Jet weighs more than an elephant.

 2. There are 1,800 thunderstorms on Earth at any given moment.

 3. There are 8.5 million lightening strikes on Earth every single day.
    (P.S A bolt of lightening always hits the highest point.

 4. There's also a lot of mad Libyan terrorists about.

 5. And don't forget those Iraqi's - They're Fucking livid still.

 6. The distance between the wing-tips of a Boeing 747 is longer than
    the first flight made by the Wright brothers but shorter than the
    Irish football team's passing game.

 7. A plane can also cut wood.  It can scythe down one square mile of
    trees when it crashes into a forest.

 8. All the world's airlines demand a copy of the Irish football team's
    fixture list, so that their aeroplanes can avoid the stadiums
    where Ireland are playing.

 9. Chaos theory, also known as Sod's Law, predicts that if you are so
    terrified of flying that you take a train or a ship instead, a 747
    will probably crash on your carriage or the recreation deck.

10. The whole fleet of Air Europe recently went down - in one single
    night!



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