Text 4299, 94 rader
Skriven 2006-05-27 07:54:06 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Re: A Better Model
==========================
       Nathan Prugh was entering F unny stuff to  All  

 NP>                             A Better Model
   >                             ==============

    11.4 IRRITATING THINGS


  Here's a list of things that may have absolutely sod all to do with
the scene, but some may, and their IRRITATING.

1. Why do all baby foods have two different flavors like pea and ham.
Liver and bacon.  Dogshit and Volvo.  I mean, why?  They can't taste the
shit properly anyway?  Is it so that the parent knows exactly what shit
he's got down the front of the shirt he happens to be wearing,so he can
note it down in his "Nothing ever happens in my life" Diary?

2. Why does Matthew Kelly still have a job?  I thought the TV companies
would have realized how sad he was after game for a laugh which never
gave me any sodding laughs I can tell you.

3. Why is it that when people from the continent send their photos in
to magazines they're always serious?  Look at the British pictures?
Quite zany!  Look at the foreign ones afterwards (Oh,you'll spot them
alright!) Bloody no need!  Are they Androids?

4. Why do politicians always seem to rip the shit?  Like when the
Government do something bad they say that it's completely shit which
is fair enough,but when they do something good they say "Oh,its all very
well, but it should have been done a long time ago".  AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!
HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!

5. Why do all the local titheads home in on chippy's?  They seem to me
to be just like moths!  Well, Moths are attracted to light aren't they!
They do have one thing in common with moths though.  Number of
braincells!  Yep! It's these same titheads who suddenly shut up as you
walk past, because you don't look exactly the same as them.

6. Why do all American comedies follow exactly the same bloody formula?
They all start with the characters meeting for the first time, unless
it's a sequel.  Lotsa laughs about that! Then you have the middle bit
where there's lotsa laughs about meeting the bad guys, and getting the
good guys into a weird predicament or two.  HILARIOUS!  Then you have a
section where it all goes serious, and the action comes in.  The bad
guys totally defeated, there's a few laughs at the end.  Well I am
stunned!  What a highly original film!

7. Why are cop films just as cliched?  First of all the really
experienced cop goes to inspect something with his partner, and what
happens?  The partner dies, and he has to take on either a rookie, or a
gun happy psycho! Then they suddenly start to find out about an enormous
drug bust and to keep a long story short, either revenge for one of the
cops takes place or a deep psychological problem is solved due to
killing the main bad guy.  Again highly original chaps!

8. Why don't People who try to follow others like sheep attach live
hammerhead sharks to their testicles by the teeth.  These are the kind
of people who should be rounded up and killed like the dogs they are.
The worst offenders are fashion fans or (I like metal so don't get me
wrong!) The metal fans who walk around with the typical heavy metal
uniform like I used to.

9. Why, if there is a God, does he allow sexist twats who haven't got a
clue loose on the streets.  You know, the kind of people who start out
as wank DJ's and think that if they play the song, "Hey, we want some
pussy", they're guaranteed to get laid.  These are the kind of people
who see a woman across the street and shout,"Nice tits love", then say
that they're stupid slags because they continued walking and didn't ask
them for a shag!

10. Old women and men walking around aimlessly who all wear exactly the
same things  (a woolen/cotton coat that goes down to their ankles, or if
they're blokes, the same type of coat that goes down to their waist with
a flat cap and chequered pants!)  They always talk the same as well,
"oh, yes them were the days", "I was nice looking when I was your age",
"when I was young we were hard up,you young-uns don't know what hard up
is any more". AAAARRRGGGHHH!!  They also all think that a good time is
sitting around singing along to hits of the 1830s drinking sherry.

11. Why are there some really   irritating people who have to be
Different and do a list that doesn't conform to 10,20,30,etc.

11.4. Especially those irritating bastards who cut it down to decimals!"



... >             ooo
... >            c| |
... >   __m_00_m__|_|__  Cheers, I C E-man

... >                     --spying with free beer at the wall for ALL.

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