Text 4416, 105 rader
Skriven 2006-06-06 09:03:08 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Some stories
========================
       George Pope was entering F unny stuff to  Greg Sears  

 GP> Incest is the best, just keep it in the family!

Yup.......that's pretty much HOW that works EH! ;-)))))))))

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

A man walks up to a woman sitting alone at a bar.  "Okay, so I came
over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned.
I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks,
next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy
to ask for it.
I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some
dinner.
I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each
other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past
this sexual tension and develop this intense sex life, that is truly
incredible.
Decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together.
Then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a
promotion, we buy a bigger house.  You really want kids, but I really
want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful,
the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids.
Now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you.
Now you're stressed and stop taking good care of yourself.  So to get
past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an
outside affair for sexual gratification.
You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out
(justifiably so).
We have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up.
That's just too sad.
Think about the children.
So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's
just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."


> OBJoke: for Me.  |<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")


2 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Why a two minute management lesson?  Because we all need some
management"Continuing Education" every once in a while.

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.  A small rabbit saw
theeagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?"
Theeagle answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
theeagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
ateit.

Management Lesson: To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must
besitting very high up.


Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the topof
that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, whydon't
you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the bull. "They'repacked
with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of manure and found itactually
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. Thenext day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finallyafter a
fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon hewas
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
youthere.


Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird frozeand
fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow cameby and
dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cowdung,
it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing himout. He
lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
thesound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly
dughim out and ate him.

Management Lessons:
  (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
  (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
  (3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

This ends your two-minute management course




Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜßÜ

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