Text 4421, 80 rader
Skriven 2006-05-11 04:49:00 av Bob Hoffman
Ärende: THESE ARE GOOD
======================
From: "Bob Hoffman" <texas@familynet-international.org>



I was in the Express Lane at the store, quietly fuming. Completely ignoring
the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out  line pushing
a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned
the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So, which
six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more
often?


****

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and
his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table. "Young man,
we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes."

They were seated immediately.

****

The reason congressmen try so hard to get reelected is that they would hate to
have to make a living under the laws they've passed.


****

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with
ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her
away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.


****

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the
idea.

****
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your
casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what
would you like them to say?" Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a
wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."


Merle commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and
servant of God who made a huge difference in peoples lives."


Kirk said,  "I'd like them to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

****

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute." Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars
mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny."Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."


****

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I
have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man
replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks,
"How can that be?"The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
poisoning me. What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me
talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."


A week later the Rabbi
calls the man and says. "I spoke to your wife...spoke to her on the phone for
three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes, and the Rabbi replied,
"Take the poison".


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