Text 4470, 101 rader
Skriven 2006-06-17 20:52:51 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Dad's Day 1/10
======================
The Cameron Column
A Weekly Internet Newsletter brought to you by Broadcast International,
Incorporated
Copyright W. Bruce Cameron
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Office of the Principal
Shawnee Mission East High School
Shawnee Mission, Kansas.

Dear Mr. Cameron:  As a courtesy, we are sending you a copy of this letter
we recently wrote your 15 year old daughter in response to a query we
received from her.

Dear Ms. Cameron.

Thank you for your letter.  Yes, we are pleased to report, your father's
old high school is still standing and our library was able to find
yearbooks dating "all the way back" to his graduation.  In fact, a few
teachers even remember your father, which I will get to in a moment.

In answer to your first question:  in every picture extant of your father
he is well shod, wearing what I believe were called "earth shoes" back
then.  Also, the weather here is moderate, with snow generally lasting from
December until March--hardly the entire school year.  Thus his descriptions
of the conditions under which he "struggled" to school in the morning do,
as you suggested, seem a bit exaggerated.  In fact, our bus logs are
(remarkably) still intact, revealing that not only was your father a
registered passenger, but that his parents paid the extra ten dollars a
month for door-to-door delivery.

I am sure there were days when your father was very "sharply dressed," as
you state he puts it, but in every single photograph I was able to uncover
he is wearing exactly the same thing:  bell bottom blue jeans with white
strings trailing from the edges onto the floor, horizontal rents in the
knees, and no belt buckle.  His T-shirt displays a message easily
communicated with hand gestures.  His hair hangs past his shoulders and
looks as if it was exposed to a lot of wind - perhaps he rode the school
bus with the window open.

As to academics and "concentrating on the basics," one must remember the
times:  the "basics" back then may very well have embraced some of your
father's elective subjects, which included  "Personal Citizenship,"
"Ecology," and one which apparently was called "Relevance."  We have no
record of what, if anything, was taught in these classes.  What records we
do have show that your father did indeed take Geometry, just as he claims.
In fact, he took it his sophomore year, repeated it his junior year, and
repeated the course again his senior year - Geometry was required for
graduation.

Now as to Mr. Muggins, who had your father in a class called "Problems of
Modern Relationships."  Mr. Muggins does not wish to dispute the claim that
your father always had his homework done early, he merely wants to point
out that no matter when it was done, it was always handed in late.  In
fact, your father sticks out in Mr. Muggins's mind as having the most
outrageous excuses for being unprepared, including having to evacuate his
home because it was infected with the China Syndrome.

Your father was not, sad to say, President of the Student Council.  Perhaps
he is confusing student government with a social group called "The
Slackers," which Mr. Muggins recalls was a group of boys who sat in the
hallway and made loud groaning noises whenever an attractive girl strode
past.  Your father was assistant vice president of the club, and, to our
knowledge, is the only past member not currently serving time in a federal
penitentiary.

One thing IS completely verifiable:  your father's name is, indeed, carved
above the door to the school.  Please advise that, now that we have noticed
it, we will need to have it sanded out and refinished, at a cost of
approximately three hundred dollars.  We would appreciate it if your father
would agree to pay for the damage without having to engage lawyers.  The
honor roll to which he apparently referred is not above the door, it hangs
outside my office.  I will leave unanswered the question as to whether his
name is upon it.

Thank you very much for your letter, which we found most amusing.  Be sure
to tell your father hello from Mr. Muggins.



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