Text 4637, 121 rader
Skriven 2006-09-01 18:44:00 av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Humor Digest - 145
==========================
---------------------------- <Original Message> ----------------------------

   Date:  6-09-1999
   From: ROBERT RICHARDS (1:138/258)
     To: ALL
Subject: Humor Digest - 145

Humor-Digest  Tuesday, June 8 1999  Volume 02 : Number 145
----------------------------------------------------------------- Todays
subjects in the Best of Humor Digest are:
BOH: Billy the Red Nosed leader
BOH: Sleeping in Church
BOH: Fluffy Toys (Sexual)
----------------------------------------------------------------- BOH: Billy
the Red Nosed leader


BILLY THE RED-NOSED LEADER
(sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)
lyrics by Stephen Wertheim swcartman@hotmail.com

You know Carter, and Nixon, and
Ford, and Reagan,
Johnson, and Truman, and
Hoover, and Wilson.
But do you recall
The most famous president of them all…

Billy, the red-nosed leader,
had a very shiny nose,
And he employed an intern,
who you might say really blowed.

All of the prosecutors,
used to never find good leads,
They never let poor Billy,
get any ‘cept from Hillary.

Then one foggy afternoon,
Kenneth came to say:
"Billy with your nose so bright,
won’t you testify on tape tonight?"

And all of congress loved it,
they released it with great glee,
Billy, the red-nosed leader,
you’ll go UP in history!

-------------------------------------------------------------------- BOH:
Sleeping in Church



Sleeping in Church
------------------

One day Mrs.  Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church.
 "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons.  It's very embarrassing.  What should I do?"

"I have an idea", said the minister.  "Take this hatpin with you.  I will be
able to tell when Mr.  Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at
specific
times.  When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

 In the church the following Sunday, Mr.  Jones dozed off.  Noticing this, the
preacher put his plan to work.  "And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs.  Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes,
you are right, Mr.  Jones," said the minister.

Soon, Mr.  Jones nodded off again.  Again, the minister noticed."Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs.  Jones. "God!"
Mr.  Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin "Right again,"
said
the minister, smiling.  Before long, Mr.  Jones again winked off. However,
this time the minister did not notice.

As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones
mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th
son?" Mrs.  Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that dammned thing
in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

-
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOH: Fluffy Toys (Sexual)


Fluffy Toys (Sexual Content)
-------------------------------
A guy met a girl at a nightclub and she invited him back to her place for the
night. She still lived with her parents, but they were out of town, so this
was the perfect opportunity.

They got back to her house and they went into her bedroom. When guy walked in
the door, he noticed all sorts of fluffy toys.  There's hundreds of them;
fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window
sill - there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed.

Later, after they've had sex, the guy turned to her and asked,
"So, how was I ?"

She replied, "Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf."

------------------------------
End of - Humor-Digest V2 #145
******************************
brought to you by:
----------------------------------------------------------------- Best of
Humor-Digest
'This IS a laughing matter'
(http://www.bestofhumor.com)
----------------------------------------------------------------- Send Jokes:
(jokes@bestofhumor.com)

--- SLMAIL v5.1  (#SLO409KEDG15G098)
 * Origin: bbs.internetking.com.mx - 1-425-837-8787  (1:138/392)