Text 4696, 77 rader
Skriven 2006-10-15 00:38:00 av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Joke Today[10-06-99]
============================
from archives

---------------------------- <Original Message> ----------------------------

   Date:  6-09-1999
   From: GREG SEARS (3:770/125)
     To: ALL
Subject: Joke Today[10-06-99]

G-day All,

U.S. ARMY OFFICIAL VOICE MAIL MESSAGE

Thank you for calling the United States Army.  I'm sorry, but all of our units
are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged.  Please leave a message with
your country, name of organization, the region, the specific crisis, and a
number at which we can call you.  As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans,
Iraq, Korea, China, the Y2K Bug, marching up and down the streets of
Washington, D.C., and compulsory "Consideration Of Others" training, we will
return your call.

Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to
the following numbers:

If your crisis is small, and close to the sea, press 1 for the United States
Marine Corps.

If your concern is distant, with a temperate climate and good hotels, and can
be solved by one or two low risk, high altitude bombing runs, please press 2
for the United States Air Force.  Please note this service is not available
after 1630 hours, or on weekends.  Special consideration will be given to
customers requiring satellite or
stealth technology who can provide additional research and
development funding.

If your inquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of grey
funnel, bunting, flags and a really good marching band,
please write, well in advance, to the United States Navy.  Please note that
Tomahawk missile service is extremely limited and will be provided on A
first-come, first-served basis.

If your inquiry is not urgent, please press 3 for the Rapid
Deployment Force. If you are in real hot trouble, please press 4, and your
call will be routed to the United States Army Special Operations Command.
Please note that a compulsory credit check will be required to ensure you can
afford the inherent TDY costs.  Also be aware that USASOC may bill your
account at any time and is not required to tell you why, as it will be
classified.

If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid
little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family in a condemned hut
miles from civilization, are prepared to work your *** off daily, risking your
life, in all weather and terrain, both day and night, and whilst watching
Congress erode your original benefits package, then please stay on the line. 
Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passed-over Army Recruiter in
an old strip mall down by the Post Office.

Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the United
States Army.

    --------------
   / I C E-man|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(*)------(*)-=/ 10-June-1999
 ================================

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