Text 587, 146 rader
Skriven 2004-11-27 14:20:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Re: F unny            1/2
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 BBS: Milky Way  Date: 11-25-04 (19:56)
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GP>GS>  GP> Then use a boomerang on the bunsuvsitches and bury them in an
  >GS>    > anonymous grave!
  >GS>
  >GS> That might go down in aussie CyberPope, but not in N.Z. In New Zealand
  >GS> the last farmer that caught two thieves removing his 4-wheel farm bike
  >GS> was jailed for wounding the joker, and will likely stay in jail? #[;-(]

Mr. GEORGE POPE was heard replying To the MAN GREG SEARS

GP>Fucking retarded just like here!
  >Where the freaking CRIMINALS get to use the courts to sue people and act
  >like low-life scums!

The largest problem ~according to the I C E-man~ is the criminals get more
                                                 power in the law than the
                                                 victims of thier crimes.

The criminal get ~free~ lawyers, room & board, and if found guilty of the
crime..can/will be looked after for the rest of his/her jail_time?

The victim get ~expensive~ lawyers, loose home, possecions, and sometimes
the life of them or one of the loved ones. No reparations ...nothing?

>OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

The hand-mirror

   Once upon a time, when mirrors were not common among the rural
population of a small European country, at the market-place of the
little  town, an old man saw a hand-mirror for the first time in his
life. He was quite surprised to see the image of his deceased father in
it and bought this treasure. He hid it in his trunk, and from time to
time he looked at it and spoke with his late father.

   One day, his wife noticed this scene and secretly opened the trunk
and looked into the mirror: "Woe is me! This is the animate image of
another woman, he got from the town." She went to the rabbi to complain
about her husband and showed him the magic picture.

   The rabbi, a dignified patriach , looked into the mirror and
exclaimed: "Why do you complain, my child? In this miracle glass, I see
the Messiah!"

>OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

World's Top Scientists Ponder: What if the Whole Universe is, Like, One
Huge Atom?

  PALO ALTO, CA--Gathering for what members of the international science
community are calling "potentially the most totally out-to-lunch freaky
head trip since Einstein postulated that space and time were, like,
curved and shit," a consortium of the world's top physicists descended
upon Stanford University Monday to discuss some of the difficult
questions facing the cutting edge of theoretical thinking.


Among the revolutionary ideas expected to be raised at the historic
week-long summit is the possibility that, like, our whole friggin'
universe might be just one big atom in, say, some super-duper huge thing
out there somewhere, or something.


"Whoa, man," Dr. Jacob "The Boz" Bozeman of MIT told reporters. "The
implications of this deceptively simple hypothesis are, like, completely
blowing my mind. Like, we could all be nothing more than this little dot
in the fingernail of some huge-ass giant dude. Or maybe a seed in the
mustard of, like, some really big sandwich, or even a germ on the back
of a flea that's, like, sitting on a hair on some giant dog's ass.
Truly, it boggles the freakin' mind, man. It freaks me the f*ck right
out."


The universe-as-possible-giant-atom theory originated in May with a team
of Cal Tech particle physicists, who developed the theory late one night
while sitting around on a couch in the Physics Department's cyclotron
and foosball facility, "just shooting the shit." The theory, which was
reportedly conceived after the group became highly engrossed in
ceiling-tile patterns for several minutes while waiting for a pizza to
arrive, is said to be so advanced that only a few scientists in the
world even have their heads together enough to really, you know, deal.
Yet even among this elite group, many are said to be "seriously thrown
for a loop" by its implications.


"I'm like, 'Whoa there, man, slow down,'" said Dr. Dieter Gerhardt, a
low-temperature physicist at Cornell University. Pausing for a moment to
collect himself, the renowned scientist then placed his hands on his
forehead before extending them outward in a sweeping gesture and making
a buzzing "space-noise" sound effect with his lips, non-verbally
indicating the degree to which his mind was blown by the whole freaky
deal.


  Among other topics to be explored at the Stanford conference,
according to Bozeman: the concept of parallel, or "alternate," Earths;
the theory of multi-dimensional "superstrings" that fold backward and
forward throughout the fabric of the universe; and "a whole bunch of
other sh!t I totally can't even handle thinking about right now."


On Monday, the most high-profile conference attendee, Cambridge's Dr.
Stephen Hawking, discussed his recent research exploring the possible
existence of "sideways," or lateral, time, a concept most scientists in
attendance described as "way out there."


"I don't want to f*ck with anybody's head here," Hawking told the
assembled scientists via his voice-simulation device, "but if time goes
sideways as well as forward, there might be, like, other versions of
this reality, where, say, the Roman Empire is still in charge and
stuff."


"By the way," Hawking added, "ever think about what'd happen if you,
say, went back in time and accidentally killed your own younger self?
Man, that sh!t would be so f*cked up."

  Hawking's ideas provoked strong reaction. "I remember I was pretty
wigged out when Feynman came up with that sh!t about antiparticles just
being normal particles traveling backwards in time," said Dr. Wei
Lo-Huang of Princeton.  "That was heavy enough to have to deal with. But
now Hawking comes up with this? What's up with that?"

"F***, man... if this turns out to be true, it will require a total
recalibration of all our methods for measuring space-time flux, and that
means all my old equations are gonna be, like, for shit," Wei said. "Aw,
man."

Though Hawking's lateral-time theory may prove significant, most
scientists in attendance said they plan to avoid it for now, explaining
that the "whole one big atom deal" (or "WOBAD" theory, as it has come to
be known within physics circles) is more than enough to completely freak
their shit, and that they would prefer to take these mind-blowing
questions one at a time, just so they don't completely, you know, lose
it.

>>> Continued to next message

 * SLMR 2.1a * George, beer kills brain cells <but> only the weak ones!

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)