Text 618, 162 rader
Skriven 2004-12-02 09:05:04 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Dave Coble
Ärende: F unny
==============
G-day Mate,

I heard...maybe wrong...you like Q: & A:s eh? '-)

What do you call the Munchbunch in a sex orgy?
 S A L A D !

Q: What's red and silver and bumps into walls?
 A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: Why do idiots drive XR3i's up and down the M1 at 100mph weaving from
   lane to lane and overtaking on the wrong side ?
 A: Because Ford no longer manufacture lemon-yellow Capri's with black
    vinyl roofs !

What do you call a whore with a runny nose
 Full up

Q: How do you confuse an Irishman?
 A: Give him three shovels and tell him to take his pick.

Q: How do you make an Irishman dizzy?
 A: Stand him an a barrel and tell him to piss in the corner.

Blunder Bus:  A coach load of spinsters going to a maternity home.

Brassiere:  A device for making mountains out of molehills

Q: How many Yorkshire men does it take to do the washing up?
 A: None its women's work!

Q: Why do women have fannies?
 A: So men will talk to them

Q: What is the definition of a woman?
 A: a life support system for a fanny!!!!

What is green and red all over?
 A sunburnt frog...

What is brown and taps on the window?
 A baby in a microwave.

What is red and sits in the corner?
 A baby chewing razor blades.

What is green and sits in the corner?
 The same baby a month later!

What red and green on the outside?
 Sliced Frog.

What green and wrapped in tin-foil?
 Baked Frog.

Q: What's red and spits ?
 A: A baby in a frying pan.

Q: What's black and taps on glass ?
 A: A baby in a microwave.

Q: What crawls along corridors, but can't go through doors ?
 A: A baby with a javelin through its head.

Q: What is red and silver and walks into walls ?
 A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
 No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs
 Still no idea!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea?
 Bob.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
 Doug.

What's pink and hard in the morning?
 The financial times crossword.

What's pink, wrinkled and hangs out your trousers?
 Your Gran.

What do you call a bear with no paw?
 Rupert the bastard.

Why do they give away free TVs with Ladas?
 So you've got something to do while waiting for the mechanic to come
 and fix it.

X: Why do elephants paint [a certain part of their genitalia] red?
 Y: So they can hide in cherry trees.
 X: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
 Y: No.
 X: Shows how well it works.

Q: What is 200 meters long and eats cabbage?
 A: A Polish meat queue.

Q: Why do Polish police have man-dog teams?
 A: Two heads are better than one.

What does it say at the bottom of an Irish milk bottle?
 "Open other end"

What does it say at the TOP of an Irish milk bottle?
 "See other end for instructions"

What does it say at the top of an Irish step ladder?
 S T O P!

How do you get an Irishman to burn his ear?
 Ring him up while he's ironing.

Q: What is the difference between LADA and AIDS?
 A: You can still palm AIDS off to someone else.

Q. What do you call a LADA with a turbo?
 A. A Skoda

Q. How many South African policemen does it take to break an egg?
 A. None. It fell down the stairs.

Why do LADA's have heated rear windscreens?
 To keep your hands warm when your pushing them.

What do you call a LADA with a sun-roof?
 A skip.

How do you double the value of a LADA?
 Fill it up with petrol.

Q: What's the most painful part of a sex change operation for a man?
 A: The removal of the brain and the widening of the mouth!!!

Two prostitutes walking along in the gutter.
 Once says to the other "I got picked up by the fuzz this morning"
 The other says "That's nothing, I got picked up by the tits the other
 night"

Q)  What's blue and sits in the corner?
 A)  A baby in a plastic bag.

What is the smallest part in LADA ?
 The owners brain.

OR maybe that was Heather Lennox... I can't remember.... I'm OLD! '-)



Cheers,
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