Text 701, 79 rader
Skriven 2004-12-09 08:08:32 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bones
=============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 15

  The Funny Bone Bad Answer Man Presents...

                                               .&&&&&&&&&&&&&.
   Fashion Tips For The Very Poor           .&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&.
                                          .&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&.
  Being penniless doesn't mean you       &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  have to dress without style.  A       &&&&&&&&&:&&:&&:&&:&&&&&&&&&&
  smart girl finds high fashion        &&&&&&&&:&'&''&&''&&'&:&&&&&&&&
  lurking in any pile of cast-offs.   .&&&&&&'((((((     ))))))'&&&&&&.
  With a little pluckishness, hard    &&&&&&'(/````\     /````\)'&&&&&&
  work, and the keen advice of Ooze,  &&&&:' `\ (_) ) \ ( (_) /` ':&&&&
  you'll be the envy of every kid     && ( :. ''''''   \ `````` .: ) &&
  on the block!                       &&\ \:::.      ,__)     .:::/ /&&
                                      '&&\ `:::               :::` /&&'
  Two scrap 2 x 4s, available at any   &&&`/\:`     .-.-.     `:/\`&&&
  construction site, can be trans-    .&&&(  )    .'._,_.'.    (  )&&&.
  formed into a pair of hip, 70s-     &&&&&&&&\    \` ` `/    /&&&&&&&&
  style clogs with only a sharp       &&&&&&&&&\    `---`    /&&&&&&&&&
  knife, wood glue, and some heavy    &&&&&&&&&&`-._     _.-'&&&&&&&&&&
  twine.  The ultimate in plat-      &&&&&&&&&&&    `"""`    &&&&&&&&&&&
  form shoes!                       &jgs&&&&&&'                '&&&&&&&&&

  Chrome bumpers, split around the corners and accompanied by a lawnmower
  grass pouch, can approximate that "tiny silver backpack" thing that's
  really hot with the baby t-shirt and barrette set.

  Like the cool, "keys on a janitor's chain" look that's so popular with
  the club kids?  Any metal gate, cut apart with a hacksaw can be wound to
  your jeans to create that "workingman's" look for a bargain price.  If
  all the metal gates near your house are electrical, try shorting the
  circuit with your kid brother!

  Old toothpaste caps, cut in half and glued to your gums with epoxy, can
  cover up any embarrassing gaps in your smile caused by rotting teeth!

  Large plastic garbage bags can be cut into a variety of snug fitting and
  sexy dresses for all occasions!  Just make sure to make airholes in the
  bag so you don't smell like a sweaty pig!

  Gangrenous sores threatening to ruin your prom?  A healthy dose of col-
  ored electrical tape can cover them up in minutes.  Tell your friends
  you are wearing red tape to signify your support for AIDS victims.
  They'll be so impressed with your social awareness, they won't notice
  any tell-tale rotting!

  Think of yourself as "Mr. Retro" but don't have the wallet to back up
  the claim?  Create your own JAMS, those colorful Bermuda shorts from the
  Reagan era, by duct taping rotting vegetables to your thighs!  Look out,
  Spuds McKenzie!

  Proud of your African heritage but too unskilled to weave a multi-colored
  tapestry?  Old bath towels, even those with "Roger Rabbit" or "Pee Wee's
  Playhouse" insignias, can be cut into great African dashikis!

  Live in a shanty-town with no services?  A fully-juiced car battery can
  provide up to two hours of electrical power for your curling iron!

  Professional tattoos are expensive, and homemade ones make you look like
  you've spent a lot of time in jail.  Now you can mutilate your skin the
  discount way!  Clods of dirt, colorful industrial chemicals, and hunks
  of hot tar fresh off the summer street can be mixed together and seared
  into human flesh to create exciting designs!

  Want to look smart, but can't afford eyeglasses?  Discarded jelly jars,
  held together by a wire clothes hanger can make even the biggest dullard
  look like an instant Pointdexter!

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

 

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