Text 770, 69 rader
Skriven 2004-12-13 23:10:38 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Seasons greetings
=========================
            H O W   T O   K I L L   S A N T A   C L A U S

The thought of people being happy and nothing that I can do to make
their day as rotten as possible.  Christmas season is great, because if
you kill Santa Claus all the little kids won`t get gifts to open on the
25th!  Look at all these douche bags out there dressed in those stupid
red suits, wouldn't you feel satisfied by actually killing one or all of
them?  I would, I personally find great personal satisfaction in killing
of as many bastards in these suits as possible, and that's why I'm here.
Share some personal experiences in killing of the Santa Clauses.

- Stretch a piano cord across the road between two telephone poles so
  when Saint Nick comes flying by on a sleigh or a fire engine his head
  will come right off.

- Obtain a hand held land to air heat seeking missile, when he comes by,
  nuke him to kingdom-come!

- Point a .45 calibre starting pistol at his head when he's in the mall
  and threaten to give him a massive vasectomy.  Then fire and watch the
  fat shit have a heart attack!

- Put a gas burner on the bottom of your fire place.

- Put a shot gun on the bottom of your fire place attacked to the handle
  on the flew.

- Put a lot of oil on your roof and watch the fat shit try and land!

- Kick him off his sleigh in mid air.

- Put an altimeter bomb in his sleigh, so when he goes high enough it's
  bye-bye for Santa.

- Loosen the blades on his sleigh when he tries to land, it's Santa all
  over the place.

- Sacrifice his reindeer.

- Bolt a rope to the roof of your house, and tie the other end to his
  sleigh.  It's one f***ed up sleigh when he gets moving.

- Run over him with a car when he lands on the road.

- Fire a fat-seeking missile at his sleigh in mid air.

- Have him arrested at night time for breaking and entering into your
  house.

- When he comes down the chimney, smash him across the face with a
  metal baseball bat.

- Fire a flame thrower at him when he's a-comin down the chimney.

Just remember when the old bastard comes - "You better not pout, you
better not cry, Santa Claus is coming to town." -little does the fat
shit know if he comes near my town he's gonna have the worst night of
his life, not to mention the last.


   *                       *
  ###  Merry  Christmas   ###
 #####  Happy New Year   #####
   =      I C E-man        =

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