Text 941, 54 rader
Skriven 2005-01-23 08:30:56 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: F unny
==============
                           How to Get a Date
                           -
                       by the Jabberwock <PM107>

      How to Get the Man/Woman/Other(please state) of your Choice
      -----------------------

    First locate your target.  Your best chance of doing this is by
going to one of those wild parties which result in pairs of bodies being
strewn all over the stairs within a couple of hours of starting.
However, since I never get invited to that sort of party, I'm blowed if
I can see why I should help those of you who do.  So I won't.  So there.
    Having located your target, the next step is to find out where said
target lives.  This is easily done by following her/him until you reach
a door which they go in and lock.  This will either be their room or the
bathroom, and if you can't tell the difference then you're beyond hope.
    Next you need to establish contact.  Knock on the target's door, and
when it is opened, say, "Excuse me, but I wanted to leave a messeage for
so-and-so upstairs, but he/she/it isn't in.  Can I borrow a pen and
paper to leave a note please?"  Having borrowed this, make sure that you
leave something behind when you go.  This means that you can go back and
collect it sometime.

    DANGER SIGNS: A wedding or engagement ring.
                  A photo of a stunning individual by the bed.
                  The presence of a stunning individual in the bed.
                  A very rapid ushering out of the room.
                  Phrases such as "Get lost, you pervert!"

    GOOD SIGNS:   Him/her/it falling into your arms on your next visit.
                  A return visit armed with red rose.

    As you can see, there are more danger signs than good signs, so if
at first you don't succeed, don't worry...there are plenty more toads in
the bog!  A good strategy is ending up on the doorstep looking very
pathetic, which can get you invited in for a coffee so you can work on
your chat-up lines.  One line you should never use if you want to leave
their room with the same number of limbs as you went in with is "Do you
come here often?"  It is the target's room after all.

HAPPY HUNTING!!!



    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
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